XMen: First Class: Sleeping With The Enemy
by Jamesyboy'sStarGazer
Summary: This is my interpretation/'examination' of how/why Charles and Erik's friendship came to be so "intimately" close. They both also have some issues that they need to address... Rated M for some mature/slash content.
1. Introduction

**Introduction:**

If you have not been "Cherik-ed" to death yet, I invite you to follow along with my perception of how and why Charles and

Erik's friendship became so "intimately beautiful" (to me). I tell their story in the 1st person point of view of both

Charles and Erik although admittedly it will mostly be through Charles.

I fell in love with the remarkable friendship that James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as young Professor Xavier and young

Magneto had in the X-Men: First Class movie. The "friendship chemistry" they brought to the screen was absolutely amazing

which is why I have written this story in slash...I just can't seem to think of them in any other way.

At the end of First Class, I just could not see such a powerful friendship ending "just like that" which is one of the

reasons for me writing this story which is a continuation from near the end of FC. But the initial reason for me starting

this particular story is because of the early "rumours" that the sequel would "Magneto-centric" and virtually ignoring

Charles's own transformation storyline from who he was in FC to who he becomes in the original movies. He loses not only the

use of his legs, but two of his closest friends as well at the end of FC and I wanted to give him the chance to work

through/deal with his own issues. (However, more recent speculation about the "Days of Future Past" movie do sound more

promising...time will tell us on July 18th, 2014..).

Admittedly, as much as I love watching Sci/Fi/Fantasy/Action/Adventure, I have never written any at all before so please bear

with me. I am better at writing about relationships which is what this story will be based on. My own perception of Charles

and Erik and how and why their (slashly) relationship came to be. So if you are looking for 'action/adventure' you won't

find a lot of that in this story, just to warn you before you start reading. And also because of that, yeah, there will no

doubt be some sappy parts-another warning to you. I am trying to stay as true to the FC movie as possible, but of course

there will probably be the odd thing that gets by me.

For those of you who have read my "Becoming Jane" story and added me to your "Favourite Author" list, I'm sure you can

already guess that this story will pretty much be completely opposite of my BJ one (rest assured Tom and Jane are never and

will never be far from my heart and could very well be back again too yet. I just had to get this story down).

PS (I "tested the waters" with this story with some friends who gave me positive feedback, so I hope you enjoy it as well).


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

**(Charles)**

Even though I knew it was Moira's bullet that had damaged my spinal cord, I meant it that day on the beach when I had said that she was not the one at fault...that it was Erik's fault. My heart becomes so heavy everytime I think of that ill-fated day...the day I lost not only the use of my legs, my ability to walk but two of my best friends...one whom, if truth were be told had become more than a best friend as what we had shared together went beyond friendship...

I close my eyes and allow a small moan to escape my throat and realize that tears had started to gather in the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall.

"Charles?" Moira's voice draws me back to the present. "Charles, are you in pain?"

Dear Moira, who has been a constant by my side since that day. I know, even if I hadn't been able to read her mind how very guilty she still feels even though I have assured her that I don't and never did blame her for the present state of my physical being.

I look up at her from my hospital bed, blink my eyes a rapidly a couple of times to stop any flow of tears, force a smile to my lips and shake my head, "No, I am not in any physical pain." I assure her which is the truth. It is a pain of the heart that I am feeling and there are no doctors or any medications on this earth that can heal the pain I carry there.

Of course I cannot and do not tell her this. She would not understand...would never understand. At least not from my perspective. That Erik and I had become lovers only days after everyone had moved into my place and during our entire fight against Sebastian Shaw and what we had hoped would be an enlightment of our kind, mutants to the human population, until that day on the beach...

Our relationship had been a very passionate, very intense, one...like one I had never had before in my entire life. Our lovemaking was firey, explosive. I felt that we balanced each other out very well because of our opposites. Erik was the fiercely passionate one while I was the more calm, practical one. He was like fire and I was like a cooling, calming water. Because of my telepathic ability, I was the one who could always soothe Erik whenever he became dangerously angry...which had happened fairly often. But I understood his anger and where it came from. I believe that this is why we also made such a remarkable connection with each other. Because Erik was a complicated man with a complicated background. I had learned this the moment I made my first telepathic connection with him when I had jumped into the water and intervened with his attempt to kill Shaw, ultimately saving his life at the same time, the night we first met. And then again afterwards when we were all training for the 'war' against Shaw and his fellow mutants and Erik had allowed me to enter his mind in order to help teach him how he could strengthen his powers by putting the right emotions to work. And several other times afterwards. He allowed me and only me to get to know the real him and to know about his past. It was that which made me the one who understood him best. On my part, my life had been and was still much more privledged than Erik's which could have gone against me in his eyes. But it didn't...perhaps because I had accepted him for who he was. Something he had found throughout his earlier life that not everyone was willing to do.

But the one area where he and I stalemated was that we each had also been hoping to persuade the other to join his side of the mutant/human equation, both of us equally passionate that our side was the right side. Neither of us budging from our strong beliefs.

I winced slightly as I recalled Erik's eyes as blue as the sky looking down at me with such love in them-eyes I would never see again (I closed my own eyes once more as I agonized over this truth) except in dreams like the drug-induced ones I had been having since being hopsitialized. And how his strong arms would hold me and make me feel safe, secure and loved such as the night when we had learned that Darwin and many other innocent people had been horribly murdered in cold blood by Sebastian Shaw. We had been on our way back from Russia when I was starting to feel that something was wrong. As we were still too far away, I was unable to get a clear read on anyone. I had wished I had Hank's Cerebro in order to help me reach Raven or any of the others better.

The closer we were getting to home, the worse I felt. I tried repeatedly to reach someone at the compound but all in vain. Finally, I disclosed my concern to Erik.

"Erik...something is wrong, I can feel it." I said to him in a low tone so that Moira and the agent who had accompanied us to Russia wouldn't hear me. He looked at me frowning. "I can't read anyone at the compound."

Erik's face relaxed as he replied. "We are probably still too far away, Charles."

But I shook my head. "No...it's more than that. I can _feel_ that something is wrong."

I continued trying to reach Raven but it took until we were making our descent before I finally was able to get any kind of response. But...the one I got was strange...confusing.

After we landed and had disembarked from the plane, it suddenly felt was like there were several people in my head at once. I stopped in my surprise by the sudden onslaught and put hand to my head and groaned.

"Are you alright Charles?" Erik asked me, concerned.

"I don't understand what's happening. For some reason I can't seem to lock onto one person...I feel like several of them are in my head. Wait...I see...I see...I hear...panic...screams...I feel...fear...oh...god..."

"What? What is it?" Erik demanded.

"Explosions...fires...at the compound! We have to get over there NOW!" I exclaimed, all three looking at me in their shock at my revelation. But no one questioned me. We found Moira's car and headed straight over. Along the way my feeling only intesified. I was afraid of what it might mean...

We could see the destruction before we even reached the compound. Erik and I looked at each other. I saw that Erik was already holding Shaw responsible. I was sure he was right. I also had the feeling that it should only be Erik and myself checking the damage. By now I managed to see that Raven and the rest of the mutants were safe with the CIA. With my mind, I told Moira what to do.

"You two go to the kids to let them know we have returned while Erik and I check out the compound."

Without any argument, the two sped away in Moira's car after dropping us off.

Erik and I walked around the devasting scene but the more I took in, the worse I was feeling. All of the bodies had been either shot, stabbed, burned, or lay broken on the ground, killed in one violent way or another...some not even resembling human anymore. There were body parts stewn all over...and the blood...blood was everywhere...the stench of death was overpowering. I was so horrified at the carnage that Shaw had left in his destructive path that it literally brought me to my knees with a nauseousness that had violently emptied the contents of my stomach onto the ground where it had all happened. Erik was right there beside me, on his own knees gently rubbing my back.

"Your priviledged life has not allowed you to see such violence." He said softly, not attacking but merely stating a truth. "You have to be stronger than this Charles. Strong for the others. Shaw isn't the only evil bastard out there. You're going to have to get used to this kind of thing."

"My god Erik! What have we done?!" I gasped out shakily, once my body had stopped heaving. "We brought those kids here!" I couldn't go on. The thought of Raven witnessing such a horrific act... and I hadn't been there to protect her...them...any of them from it! We hadn't been there! What if something had happened to her? What if Shaw had killed her as well? Or any of the others? This was wrong. This was all wrong. My mind was made up. They were all leaving and as soon as was possible...this was the end of it. I refused to take any more chances and with Raven or any of them.

Erik helped me to my feet and as I was still feeling weak, half carried, half dragged me away from the scenes of destruction. By the time we reached what had been the entrance of the compound, Moira had returned with Raven and the others...

That night, sensing that I needed him, Erik stayed with me in my bed and held me protectively close to his body, my head laid against his chest while I tried to wrap my head around the pure evilness of Sebastian Shaw. I also allowed myself to grieve over the recent tragic events, quietly weeping for not only the loss of one of our own innocents but also for the loss of many innocent men as well as for loss of the innocence of those who had survived and felt like our world was coming apart. Erik had sat in a smouldering silence where I felt his hatred towards Shaw intensify as he held me, his free hand clenching and unclenching...

One thing I had discovered about Erik during our relationship, no matter how hard and tough he shows himself to be to everyone in the outside world, with me he can be and had been very loving, gentle and caring. A side that he refuses to show to anyone except myself.

"Charles..." Once again Moira's voice brought me back to reality. "There is too something wrong." She insisted softly. "Please...tell me. Talk to me." She tried to coax me.

Without even thinking about doing it, my hand went to my temple, my eyes still closed. I could never, would never tell her that I had been trying at various times since waking from the surgery-which had been done to see if there was any hope at all of repairing the damage done to my spinal cord-and without any luck of course, to reach Erik's mind telepathically even though I knew it was futile. As long as he had Shaw's old helmet, I would never be able to get through. Odd though, as I'm sure he wouldn't actually sleep with that helmet on...would he? I had been asking myself that since truly believing that might be best when to try and make contact with him. But I never could. Of course it was possible that he was sleeping very irregularily and perhaps taking only short naps. And...that would make sense, especially if he were deliberately trying to avoid me. Something I knew deep inside was probably what was indeed happening, although it pierced my heart to believe it.

"It's nothing, it's just a headache. It'll pass." I finally told Moira just to give her a reason for my actions.

"I can get you something for it." She offered.

"No." I replied perhaps a little too quickly. "No thanks. I appreciate your kindness, but it is not a bad one. I'll wait for it pass. If it doesn't in a little while, I will call a doctor to give me some medication for it. In the meantime, I think I would like to try and get some sleep. That could be the reason for this headache." I explained to her hoping that she would take my explanation as a hint to leave. As much as I appreciated her continued friendship and knew I needed her and it, at that moment what I wanted more than anything was just to be left alone with my memories of Erik, the only thing left of him that I had.

And thankfully she did just that. "I'll be back later." Moira promised as she always did whenever she left.

I just smiled and nodded at her, grateful that for once, I would be able to think about Erik with a clear head. Something I hadn't been able to do since I saw him last.

So intent was I reliving our relationship since we had met, that I was suprised when I felt a prick stab my arm and felt the familiar drowsiness that seemed to have become a part of my routine. Damn Moira anyway, I thought sleepily to myself. She went ahead and told the doctor about my 'headache'...

Fighting as much against the medication as I could, I tried to protest, "I don't want...I don't need anymore medication!" but my voice felt thick and seemed like it was coming from somewhere or even someone else. "I'm not in pain..." my voice trailed off here as I fell into yet another drug induced sleep...

It was the same dream I had been having practically every night since being here. I would open my eyes and Erik would be right here in the room beside me, gazing down at me with his sky blue eyes. Always, always, they had a concerned but sad, equally pained look as I suspect my own to have, but I also saw the love in them. Sometimes he was holding my hand and because the dream was so vivid I swear I could actually feel his hand holding mine. I would even hear him whisper my name "Charles..." I would try to answer "Erik..." in return by in my drugged stupor I was never able to.

Tonight was no different but even in my dream state, I was bound and determined that I should speak his name this time. It took me several tries but I finally managed it, "Erik..." came my hoarse whisper.

"Charles..." this time he did do something different. With one of his hands, he gently brushed the hair on forehead...and with that gesture, I knew...I somehow knew..

With as much strength as I could muster, I grabbed at his hand and wrapped my own hand around his wrist when I found it, "Erik...?" I did my best to shake myself awake and free of the drugs. "Erik? Don't go...don't you leave me when I wake up!" I pleaded with him wanting to believe that he really was there, but unsure because of the drugs.

Gesturing to the bed and myself in general he replied gently, "Damn it Charles...you should know me well enough by now that I would NEVER leave you like this!"

I felt myself tearing up in the corners of my eyes again. But they were good tears because no, the Erik I had come to know and love WOULDN'T just go off and leave me like this. "I'm never going to walk again, Erik.." I whispered.

Erik didn't say anything for a moment but I noticed that he shifted uncomfortably as I said these words. At this point, I found myself starting to come out of my drugged state already. Apparently, the doctor didn't feel the need to give me as heavy a dose as I had recieved in the beginning anymore after all. I thanked God for that. I looked up at Erik with my head and vision clearing. It was real. He was real. He was there. He seemed to realize that I was coming around.

He swallowed and shook his head slightly. "This isn't right, Charles. You, lying here like this. It's not right at all!" I could see that he was angry about my circumstances but I also knew that it was himself whom his anger was directed at. That he was blaming himself. He had known all along that it was his fault, even when he had first laid the blame on Moira. He hadn't wanted to be the one responsible for his dearest friend's...his lover's fate. I understood this.

Erik didn't need to speak the words for me to realize this. And somehow, this unspoken admission gave me strength. "What's done is done Erik, we can't go back and change the past."

"You know I would if I could Charles." He vowed fiercely.

"Yes, I know you would, Erik. But I'm alive at least. I hope that accounts for something." I reassured him, taking his hand in mine and even rewarded him with a smile.

"Of course it does. Honestly Charles, I don't know how I would have taken it if...if you had died..."

"I didn't die, so let us not think of such things then, shall we?" Changing the subject, I went on. "You've been coming here every night haven't you? To see me. I wasn't dreaming, all of those nights I thought I was. I really was seeing you. In a drugged state of course. But now that I see you here for real tonight, I know that you've been coming here."

Erik nodded his head. "Of course. Every night that I have been able to. It's like I just said, I would never leave you like this Charles. I had to know. First, I had to make sure that you were alright. And then...I just couldn't leave you lying here...I had to keep coming back to see you..." His voice trailed off.

"Have you been this close by ever since then?" I quiered curiously. I could have read his mind, but I wanted him to be the one to tell me. And at present time, even though the drugs were wearing off, my mind still felt weakened by them.

"Not at all actually. I have had Azazel teleport me to and from."

I was stunned. "Azazel knows you've been coming to see me?!"

"No, he doesn't. He...they all believe that I am..."on patrol"...on "guard duty" of some sort. I have him leave me at different places every time and then come for me up at a designated time. But they are always within close distance of this hospital. So far no one suspects anything, but then they listen to me and what I tell them with no questions asked. That is, all know that to be the truth except...Raven of course. I had to tell her. I felt she had the right to know. And I know I can trust her to not tell anyone else. "

"Thank you, Erik. Raven...how is Raven?" I had to ask after my other old friend who had been more like a sister to me, even though I knew that she would be more than fine in Erik's hands. I would dearly love to see her again I thought to myself. I was also grateful that Erik was keeping Raven informed of what had been happening with me.

"She is well, Charles. She too has been very concerned about you and your well-being of course. But was very happy to know that you are coming along."

"Could you tell her...tell her..." I **_WANTED_**him to tell her that I was missing her and her friendship, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him to do that for some reason.

But Erik seemed to understand what I wanted to ask of him. "I will tell her." He promised.

Time was passing and I knew that Erik would have to leave me soon again.

"You will come back, won't you Erik?" I asked him.

"For as long as you are here, I won't leave you." he vowed again much to my relief.

"I do want to get out of here. And if they can't do anything more with me, they may as well let me go. When I do go back home...you will come and visit me there... Erik? You are welcome to come at anytime, you won't have to wait until night."

"Of course I will come, Charles."

I couldn't help but smile at Erik words. I knew he had every intention of keeping his promise. And this time before he left me, Erik leaned down and pressing his lips softly against mine, he kissed me goodbye which caused me to quiver slightly as it sent a rush of pure happiness to the very core of my body... something I thought I would never feel again. I was happy because I now knew that even though I had lost the use of my legs, I had not lost my best friends...and lover after all.


	3. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**(Charles)**

No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself becoming physically attracted to Erik. It had all really started when Erik and I had travelled together "recruiting" our fellow mutants. We were getting to know each other, becoming closer friends during this time. At night while our new-found mutant friends were in their own rooms, Erik and I would be up having a drink and talking in one of our rooms. One night after we had said our goodnights Erik's gaze lingered on me before leaving my room...

Then...the dreams started...and of the "erotic" kind. It was after I began having those dreams of Erik that I couldn't help but start to wonder how he felt about me. Gently probing his mind one day without letting him know that I was, I was equally surprised to find that he had been having similar feelings towards me. Perhaps it was the "professor" or the "scientist" coming out in me, but I was fascniated by this idea. More fascinated than repulsed and I found myself very much wanting to "experiment" with this new-found attraction. I had wondered if this was because we were mutants. Did the human population experience these kinds of feelings towards their same gender? This was something that I would have to find out somehow.

Our feelings for each other continued to intensify throughout our recruitment mission and when we went over to Russia in search of Shaw. When Erik had defied Moira's orders to abort once we learned that Shaw wasn't even there, I refused to leave without Erik and went after him myself...

It wasn`t until after everyone had moved into my place that our relationship finally became physical and within days Erik was spending every night in my room.

Our first time was after a friendly game of chess that Erik and I had taken to playing while living and training at my place. At the conclusion of our game that night and without any words passing between us, Erik walked with me to my room. As we both knew what was going to happen, as soon as the bedroom door was closed I said quietly, "Not here." He nodded his understanding. He didn't want to be found out by the younger generation of fellow mutant houseguests anymore than I did. I gestured towards a certain part of the paneled wall in my room which opened up when I pushed lightly on it, to reveal another room beyond. Erik shook his head slightly as he followed me to and then through the hidden doorway to a room that only I had known about and used.

"Why am I not surprised that you would have a secret room in your 'palace'." Erik remarked with just the slightest hint of sarcasm. "But then I would bet you have several throughout."

"As as a matter of fact there are several, but I thought it would be best to use the one in my own room in case someone should come looking for me while..." I stopped here not knowing how I should end my sentence and suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

"Of course. Good thinking." Erik agreed. "And you would just "pop" out of this room if someone should show up in your room looking for you."

"Of course not. I would wait until that person has left and then go in search of them. I just don't feel right being anywhere else in the house should something happen. In here at least I will know immediately if there is an emergency and/or I am needed."

Erik gave a conceding nod of his head. "You're always thinking, Charles."

Knowing for awhile that this night was going to be inevitable I had taken to setting up a private bedroom for us in this room, moving in some furniture from not only my own room, but from other parts of the house. There was already a hide-a-bed in the room usually set up in the couch position... until lately. Not the most comfortable kind of bed, I already knew but it was obviously impossible for me to move a regular bed into the room and without attracting attention. Depending upon how far Erik and I end up going with our relationship, I'm sure that I could manage to have one brought in at some point. In the meantime, the hide-a-bed would have to suffice.

In addtition, there were also matching nightstands on either side of the hide-a-bed, a bureau, a couple of high back arm chairs, a small settee and of course a small fireplace. The bureau, chairs, hide-a-bed/couch and settee had all been in there from when my father had used it for a study. I had brought in the rest.

"I get the distinct impression that this room hasn't always been so...'cozy', shall we say." Erik remarked with the slightest hint of coyness in his grin as he looked around the room.

I couldn't help but smile at him. "I suppose it doesn't take a telepath to be able to figure that out. You would be correct in your assumption Erik. I can't remember what the original purpose for it was anymore, I just remember my father had used it for a study at one time, a place where he could do his work in peace and quiet. I used to use this room for the same reason for awhile especially for my studies, but then later on, I started to use it more for solitude, be it either work related or just the need for some self-solitude. But yes...lately, I decided to...change it for use of a different kind of solitude."

"Are you sure your own parents didn't use this room for their own private use as well Charles? Out of the way of say, your young curious eyes? Then again, with your telepathic powers it would have been rather senseless to hide from you." Erik was teasing me and I knew it so I just smiled but didn't honour him with a reply. "Or perhaps your father had a mistress or two on the side..." He went on.

That did bring a response from me. "That's enough Erik."

"What? He was a man, wasn't he?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"ENOUGH, Erik..." I warned as I pushed the door shut. The thing is, Erik wasn't that far off of the truth...but it was something that I had no desire to talk about with him or anyone, let alone even remember. I preferred to remember my father as the man I had looked up to while growing up.

This time he held up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay. I didn't mean anything by it."

With the door now closed, I was suddenly at a loss of exactly what was expected. Of course there wouldn't have been a problem if Erik had been a woman. I was wondering if I should probe Erik's mind to find out when suddenly,

"Hey...I really am sorry..." he apologized softly. I realized that he was talking about his insinuation about my father, interpreting my hesitation as a sign that I was hurt and angry with him about it. Erik came over to me and embraced me. Just wanting to forget it myself, I closed my eyes and gave way to him as I felt his lips lightly caress the top of my head causing me to sigh softly.

"That's it..." He coaxed me.

I was caught off guard by how my body was so quick to respond by slightly trembling at his very touch and the closeness of his own body to mine as well as at my own eagerness of my desire to..."experiment" with someone of the same sex as myself. With Erik in particular. Gently, he pushed me a slightly away from his body, just enough so that he could look down into my eyes and softly cup my face as he brought down his lips on mine causing an explosion of sorts deep within my loins and tear through my body. My mouth eagerly moved along with his when I felt his tongue slip inside, gently probing, exploring. I started breathing deeper, finding that I was wanting more from him. I was surprised and felt momentarily disappointed when he pulled himself away again, only to start taking off first his shirt and then my own, followed by our trousers, which both of us partook in disgarding. He then took my hand and pulled me over to the bed, sitting down on it's edge. Spreading his long legs apart, he pulled me down in between, my back to him, his arms encircling my waist as he pressed himself up against my body. Right away, I felt his lips and the tip of his wet tongue caress the nape of my neck and then down between my shoulder blades which sent a slight shiver of pleasure down my spine. Now his hands started to gently caress my arms, my chest, my abdomen, teasing me all the while, until...they found themselves exactly where my body was aching for them to go. I couldn't help but respond to all of his touches and caresses. I found myself vaguely realizing that Erik seemed to know exactly what he was doing...

He pulled me up onto the bed beside himself where we continued to explore each other's bodies to the fullest with hands and mouth. At one point, when I found myself in some doubt, I heard Erik whisper in my ear, "Look into my mind Charles..." I did as he said and saw both what to expect and what was expected. But looking also made me think which made me hesitate. And as I did, I heard Erik whisper once again, "Just go with it Charles...don't think...don't doubt yourself. Just go with your desires...go with what feels right..." He encouraged me, all the while, finding all of the right places that were making my body ache and throb with a desire to be satisfied by him and his. And when I did as he suggested and did what I had seen in his mind, I found myself hitting new heights of ecstacy that I had never felt before in my entire life. It was beyond description...

When I came down, I found myself weak, sweaty and breathless but in complete and utter bliss as I lay in Erik's arms afterwards. Never has anyone...any woman, ever taken me to the heights that he had shown me that night. It was an experiment I wanted to experience over and over again...with Erik.

Eventually he got up, went over to his clothes and searched his pockets, then brought out a packet of cigarettes. He took one out for himself then offered me one even though he knew I didn't smoke. I shook my head briefly, although was admittedly tempted for once to take him up on his offer and have a cigarette after our " heated session", but kept myself in check. He lit his up and put the packet on the night-table beside the bed. He started looking around when I said, "Use that pen and pencil holder over on the bureau." I suggested to him. He went over, dumped out it's contents and brought it back to the bed and rejoined me.

"Erik...you've done that before...with other men, I mean." I stated, not bothering to put the obvious in question.

Erik just shrugged so I went on, as he obviously knew more about this than I did. "Do you think it has something to do with us being mutants? That it's in our mutant genes that we can be physically attracted to the same sex?"

Erik looked down at me with a bit of a "knowing" grin on his face. "No Charles, it is definitely not exclusively a 'mutant thing'.

"You've been with a human male then." Once again I stated, astounded by this realization.

Blowing smoke out of his mouth, carefully away from me, he replied simply, "Yes."

My mind was full of the wonder of it all. "Fascinating!" I couldn't help but exclaim.

Suddenly Erik rounded on me angrily. "Jesus Christ! Is that all I am to you Charles? Some god damned experiment?! A fucking guinea pig?!" He exploded as if he were the one who could read minds. "I don't have the ability to read minds like you but I thought...I thought that what we have had is more than that for you!"

I looked up at him in surprise, his eyes ablaze in anger...and hurt, his fists clenched tightly, his arms raising in his rage. I felt horrible. I also realized in that same moment I had to act quickly knowing full well what kind of damage those hands could do if I didn't stop him. "No! Erik...NO..." Quick as a lightning strike I reached my own arms out across his and brought them forcefully down while just as quickly, reached my mind into his and told him calmly,_ "Calm yourself, Erik... Of course you mean so much more than that to me. But this is completely new territory for me you have to understand. And it's \the nature of my scientifc mind to be intrigued by concepts that are foreign to me." _I assured him gently. Almost immediately, I felt both his mind and body relax as he became calm once more.

Once his anger passed, he looked at me again, this time with slightly raised eyebrows. "It's not as uncommon a thing as you think Charles but people, humans that is don't talk about it."

"But why ever not?" I truly wanted to know.

"It's...considered to be 'taboo' in the human society."

"But I don't understand why. What you and I just had was...was the most beautiful, spectacular thing I have ever experienced. Why should that be considered 'taboo'?" I persisted, puzzled.

"For all of your brains, you really can be quite naive at times, Charles. This world is not nearly as perfect as you would like to believe it to be. Far from it. You should realize that much at least. Your beloved humans are the least perfect of all."

"You're own mother was human Erik, don't forget." I gently reminded him. He winced at mention of his mother, but I stayed my ground as I wanted to keep reminding him that not all humans were as bad as he wanted to believe they were. "It was a mutant...one of our own kind who killed her. NOT another human."

Erik didn't reply at first to this, but acknowledged my statement with a curt nod of his head. Then rather gruffly he said, "But don't forget that it was humans who separated me from my parents when I was just a boy and put us in those concentration camps to begin with."

I acknowledged this with a nod of my own. "So then...perhaps we can agree that no one is perfect then, human or mutant alike."

Erik looked at me, then heaving a small sigh and blowing more smoke out the side of his mouth he gave another slight nod of his head.

A thought struck me then, "If you find the humans to be so abhorrent Erik then how...why did you end up with a male human?"

Erik's eyes suddenly had a far away look to them as if he were thinking back to sometime in the past and a slight frown came to his face. "I was younger...and more naive at the time, myself." Was all he would tell me. I could have probed into his mind, but no matter how curious I was about that time in Erik's life, it was private and none of my business. I had better morals than that. I let it be.

Erik finished his cigarette, stubbed it out and then gathered me in his arms where both of us enjoyed the closeness of each other and eventually fell asleep...

This last memory was the memory that came flooding back as I wheeled myself into Erik's and my private room. The memory of our first time. I had heard it said that you never forget your first time. There had of course been several other times since, each just as amazing as that first time.

I sighed as I came back to the present. I had been released from the hospital earlier today, not too long after the night I discovered that Erik had been coming to my room at night to see me. As I knew he would, he came back to see me until last night, the night before I left.

The first thing I did when I got home was take a tour of my place using my wheelchair. Moira had come with me to my place. She wanted to be with me while I went through my newly renovated home as it was she who, as soon as she learned of my permanent condition looked into making changes to my place in order to make it easier for myself to get around in my wheelchair and then with my permission went ahead and scheduled the job in order to have it completed by the time I came home. I was touched by her thoughtfulness to my current situation. It was too bad that it couldn't work out for myself and Moira I thought...but my heart belonged to and only one other...and we were too much a part of each other, him and I.

Of course I waited until she had left-explaining to her that I was tired, "'Call me' when you need me again then." she joked not knowing that soon...very soon I would have to erase her memory...and for that I was truly regretful for she had proven to be a good friend to me. But I couldn't risk her knowing where I lived and accidentally letting certain people know...-before I went into Erik's and my room...coming home...and coming home in a wheelchair had finally hit me. And it hit me hard. Who was I kidding?! Things **_WEREN'T_** going to be the same...how could they be...when...when I was stuck in this damn wheelchair, and only half of me functional...and because of that, **_I_** wasn't even the same anymore. Hardly even aware that I was doing it, my hands became fists which suddenly slammed down hard on the arms of my wheelchair. Then with slumping shoulders , I lowered my head as I brought the palms of my hands to my eyes and knowing I was alone and free to do so I gave way to gut-wrenching sobs.


	4. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**(Erik)**

There are no words to describe the range of emotions that went through me the second I saw Charles fall to the ground that fateful day on the beach. I knew it had been a bullet from Moira's gun but that it had ricochetted off of my hand and my initial reaction had been one of horrific disbelief. Without realizing that I was even doing it, I ran over to Charles and dropping to my knees beside him I gently placed his head in my lap and as quickly as possible, extracted the bullet with my powers. At first, I was so afraid that he had been killed...or that even if he was still alive that he wouldn't be able to survive his injury. I just didn't know in that moment and that uncertainty along with my fear made me feel anger. I lashed out at what I thought was the most obvious target. Moira. I blamed her. I blamed her because it was her gun and she was the one who was holding it when it went off. She HAD fired it after all and I was only defending myself. I wanted to be the one to comfort Charles. I was his best friend...his lover. It should have been me.

It had cut me deep when Charles had said that what had happened was my fault. I saw the pain in his eyes, when he told me...pain not only from the bullet but from having to accuse me. I was stunned at first by his accusation, but I also knew that he was right. I hadn't wanted to accept the fact that I was the one responsible for hurting him. Had he died...I couldn't even fathom that thought. At least he was alive. I had meant it when I said I wanted him on my side...we were more than brothers of course and I wanted Charles with me. We were too much a part of each other. It tore my heart when he said we **_DIDN'T _**want the same thing...

It had all happened so fast and everything had shattered in those brief moments. The guilt I was feeling was immense. It was like a crushing weight on my heart. All I could think to do when Charles accused me and said we didn't want the same thing was to flee...to leave him and in his unknown state, which was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I had to do it quick or I would change my mind. But at that point, I also believed it was for the best.

As it turned out, I found that I wasn't able to completely "leave" Charles as my emotional ties to him went too deep. I had to know that he would be alright. I spent some time finding out which hospital he was at and figuring that nights would be the easiest time to sneak in, I found his room and kept as much of a nightly vigil over him as I could. It helped to heal my heart somewhat to be able to do this for him..

Before Charles and I met, I had been on my own, obsessed with killing a mutant by the name of Sebastian Shaw who had made me watch while he murdered my mother in cold blood when I was a young boy. From that moment on, I was on my own. Even though Shaw had kept me more or less his prisoner over the next several years, I was on my own, looking for a way to escape him and his brutal regime, on a daily basis. In the meantime, I was learning from Shaw...learning how to both strengthen and use my mutant powers at my command...I vowed silently every day I was with Shaw, that one day I would use them **_AGAINST_** him. This was the one thing that kept me going until the day I finally made my escape...

When I found myself free of Shaw, I went my own way for awhile, feeling that it was best that I stayed as far away from him as possible until I could be sure he was no longer looking for me. He was still more powerful than I was...and he knew me and my mutation too well. I would have to hide from him for a long time in order to be able to catch him off his guard and take him down before he knew what was happening. In the meantime, I would continue to practice what he taught me and perhaps I would even be able to teach myself some new things. I was determined to make my mutation stronger than his...to be stronger than him before searching him out.

During those years, I was a loner. I followed no one and nobody's rules. I went my own way and made my own rules up as I went along. If someone got in my way, it was nothing for me to take them out. I took a certain pride in how destructive my mutant powers could be.

But something happened to me the moment I felt Charles`s mind invade mine when I had wanted so desparately to kill Shaw. I was indignant of course that he would not allow me to carry out my deadly plan, but in time I saw that he was right...that I would have only succeeded in killing myself in the effort which before I was interrupted by Charles, would have been worth it to me. However, he made me see that trying to kill Shaw wasn't worth my own death as well.

It was hard for me to comprehend what was happening to me...what I was feeling at the time as aside from my parents, my mother especially, there had been little love and compassion in my life. And Shaw had made sure that I would never get any more from my mother at a young age. I became both very angry and very bitter. After breaking away from Shaw I was bound and determined that **_NO ONE_** would **_EVER_** take advantage of me and my mutation ever again. Only I would use it and for my own personally gains.

But then Charles entered my life and in a way so unexpected that it caught me by surprise. I had felt his compassion that night in the water. It was so foreign to me after so many years of loathing that I couldn't understand it at first. And then I didn't want to believe in it's validity. It had to be trick of some kind. A trick of his mind to take advantage of myself and my mutation was the only way I could make sense of it. But instead, I found over time that Charles had opened up his heart to me as a friend. Another thing that had become completely foreign to me. Friendship.

Once I accepted this truth, I found myself starting to become attracted to Charles. I will admit that outside of friendship and at first, that it was strictly a physical attraction for me and I was not expecting nor even wanting anything outside of that than the physical part. But once again, I was fooled. My attraction for him continued to grow as did my emotional attatchment to him so that by the time Charles and I had sex for the first time I found that I really did care for him. More than I ever thought I would care, was capable of caring for anyone anymore. I had initially steeled my heart against any such feelings for Charles but of course he was able to break through the hardened wall I had put up, with his mind. And naturally, the more I tried to toughen my heart the more I found I cared for him. It was Charles who had first offered his unconditional friendship to me. He showed me telepathically on a daily basis that he did care and how much he cared for me. Something I initially tried to spurn but discovered that in actuality I was starved for and eventually gave in to.

Our first time together was phenomenal. Knowing that he had never been with a male before, I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was, but once I told him to look into my mind and to go with it and what feels right, it was like he had known all along what to do. But I also came to understand that it was not only due to the physical part...that it was because I was with someone whom I cared about and who cared for me that had also played a big part of the ecstacy I felt that night. Another thing I had never experienced before, had never allowed myself to experience before.

I had had several sexual encounters during those years on my own, with both male and female, mutant and human alike. I didn't discriminate as those encounters were nothing more than for my own personal gains, mostly for getting something I wanted or needed and on occasion just satisfying an urge or a lust. In all honesty, I had no preference of either/or, or any because at the time, my life involved nothing more than my obsession of hunting down Shaw and killing him myself and nothing was going to stop me until I had achieved my goal. Shaw had made me who I had become. I had never wanted a relationship, I never had the desire to become involved with anyone. But that all changed after I met Charles...

I had every intention of taking Charles up on his offer to go visit him at his place once he was home from the hospital. I had watched from a distance when he arrived at his home with Moira on the day of his release. That was when it really hit home...Charles was in a wheelchair. He would never walk again, just like he had told me in the hospital. I had done that to him...put him in that chair. Made him a prisoner of it. The guilt I felt in that moment was overwhelming. I hated myself for what I had done to him. How could I see him now? How would he be able to stand the sight of me, knowing that I am responsible for his current, permanent situation? It had been easy to visit him in the hospital, when he was lying in a bed, like most patients with any number of ailments. And he had been drugged for a good amount of the time until near the end of his stay. Of course he would have been docile, amicable. But now...and how could I face him myself? My heart tore at seeing Charles in that chair...as well as at the thought of us never seeing each other again because in all honesty, I just didn't know if I could face him...I turned my back and walked away...

That first night of Charles's release was the worst for me, as I lay alone in bed. As long as he had been in the hospital, it gave me something to do...a reason to go and be with him. But now that he was home, I was alone in my own room at night...desperately missing Charles's familiar warm body next to my own, making me feel secure and loved...and because of that, I found myself back near his mansion the very next day. I had decided in the night that as Charles has to face his disabilty every second of every day, then I too would force myself to look at him as a reminder of the fate I had bestowed upon him. A penance for my own self-importance that day. I would not hide from him or it.

But I also decided that I HAD to make some sort of contact with him. I was desperate to. Even if just to find out if he still cared at all for me or if he was truly angry with me and now despised me. Does he really want to see me again? I had to know. No matter how much the truth might hurt me. After all, I had dealt with pain before, that was nothing new to me...although I knew that this pain would be different from any other I had ever experienced.

I saw when I arrived that Beast, Havoc and Banshee were also there with him now and all four were outside in Charles's garden, talking. Taking a deep breath, I slowly removed my helmet and left myself open for him to find me. I even "reached out" with my own mind, 'calling' his name hoping that his mind would actually be able to hear mine and steeled myself for the pain of his rejection..


	5. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**(Charles)**

I have no idea how long I sat in that room, but I finally managed to pull myself together and wheel slowly over to the door. Turning, I faced mine and Erik's room one last time before heaving a heavy-hearted sigh and pulling the door shut, watched our room disappear. I was at a loss as to what I should do then. I was in a huge house all on my own, devoid of any activity, something that hadn't been a problem only a few short weeks ago. I turned and left my room wondering if I would even be able to bear sleeping in it again...

I found myself heading towards the library where Erik and I used to play chess...once I was inside the room I went over to the game, noticing it was set up...as it usually was, but for some reason, I felt like it was mocking me, teasing me, to start playing a game. I could only stare down at it, when suddenly I had the urge to kick the table the game was sitting on, over. But of course my legs didn't budge, no matter how hard I tried to make them. This only infuriated me further and before I even realized what was happening an arm-my arm-swung out and caught every playing piece on the board and with one angry swipe, cleared the entire board in an instant, scattering every piece all over the floor. But I didn't stop there. Using both hands, I violently pushed the table which sent it crashing into the big coffee table next to it before falling to the floor chessboard and all. I even took some pleasure in the sound it all made when everything crashed against the other table. I only wished that the sound it had made could have been louder as I felt that this might somehow make me feel better. It was here that I started noticing all of the glass and breakable objects in the room and with that came a sudden and mad urge to smash anything and everything breakable in sight to bits. My eyes darted around the room and eventually fell upon the fireplace poker. Perfect. Just the thing I would need. I wheeled myself over to it and reached out to take it in my hands when I heard, "Charles..." then felt a comforting hand on my right shoulder.

"Erik!" I breathed, a smile coming to my lips, my heart leaping and at the same time my hand reached out to cover his...only...it didn't feel right. Frowning, I quickly I look down at it and noticed it`s blue colour. Startled, I turned and looked up into the yellow beast eyes of Hank McCoy. "Hank..." It was then that I noticed that Alex Summers and Sean Cassidy were with him. The ones who did not desert me on the beach that day. "Alex...Sean...what are you lads doing here? Moira told me that you were staying with her for awhile." I tried my best to mask my disappointment. Not that I wasn't happy to see the three of them of course...but when I had felt Hank's.."hand", I had hoped that it would be Erik, coming to prove to me that he really would keep his promise to visit me as, after my body was completely clean of the medical drugs, I was beginning to see things in a new light...realistically...and I did not like what I saw.

"Only until you came home from the hospital." Hank assured me. "She felt it was best if we were not left here alone while you were in there."

"She was right of course." I nodded, agreeing. Despite my anguish, I was glad to see some of my team back with me. At least I hadn't been completely abandoned by my friends..my "mutant family".

"Charles..." Hank started in a gentle tone. "We know how much Magneto...I mean...Erik meant to you."

I looked up quickly when Hank had said this, wondering exactly what he meant by his words. Did he...they suspect? A quick, gentle probe of his mind told me that they did not. I gave an inaudible sigh of relief. He was in fact referring to my actions with the chess game and table.

"I don't see why sir, he abandoned us! He may have taken Shaw out of the picture, but all he did was take over for him...and he took Mystique and Angel with him!" Alex retorted.

"Angel chose her side with Shaw the night he killed Darwin." I reminded Alex grimacing slightly at the memory of the destruction that had happened that night at the hands of Shaw and his men. "Mystique...Raven chose her side that day on the beach."

"No thanks to you, you TOLD her to go with him!" Alex accused me angrily.

"Raven WANTED to go with him!" I shot back. "I was holding her back. She WOULD have stayed had I told her to yes, but that was NOT what she wanted. I gave her what she wanted. Erik...he didn`t take anyone who didn`t want to go." I finished quietly, the pain for Raven still as raw as the one I had been feeling for Erik.

Then I went on. "And Erik...Erik is NOT Shaw! Shaw was...he was an evil, evil being! Erik is not evil, he is not like Shaw! Not at all!" I defended Erik loudly. "He's...he's..." How do I explain Erik to them? "You...you don't know Erik like I do." I said in a more subdued tone. "You don't understand him like I do. Erik...he's...a complicated man. He allowed me to "see" inside of him. Yes, he does have a temper and can be quick to resort to violence. But...you have to understand. He's had a...a rough life. But there IS good in him too! I _FELT_ the good in him, I _KNOW_ it`s there. I had been helping him work through his violent tendencies and had been chipping away at the wall where he has buried that good part in himself. We were doing so well...he had been coming along so well..." I stopped here to catch my breath, then resumed. "We don't know that Erik will...will use his powers for..." I swallowed. "For...wrong..." I could barely get the word out. I didn't want to believe that he would. "We don't know that..." I repeated. "I want to believe otherwise. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. That all of my working with him hasn't gone for naught..." My voice trailed off here.

The other three looked at me sympathetically.

"Charles...there is something else you should know." Hank finally spoke up gently. "Apparently Emma Frost has escaped and it is believed that Magneto had helped her."

I let out a gasp. I didn't like the sounds of that. If that was true that Emma Frost...also a telepath, had escaped I had no doubt that Erik was responsible. I couldn't help but think of when we were on the same side and we had captured her, how he had nearly killed her. The only reason why she is alive today was because once again, I had intervened and prevented Erik from killing her. And now, he has helped her escape and they were on the same side. I shook my head slightly at the thought. No...I would not believe that Erik was taking the same path as Shaw had taken...I couldn't believe it...

"Sounds like maybe he's building an army of some sort." Sean now spoke up.

I sighed again and put a hand to my head. No...Erik, NO! You don't need to do this! It can work! I know it can! We can still make this work! I pleaded with him in my mind. I didn't want to fight against Erik...I couldn't! Aside from the obvious that he is my best friend and I love him dearly, he outnumbered us. Had his visits to the hospital meant nothing to him after all? Had he only been toying with me? Playing with my mind, so to speak? I closed my eyes to the throbbing pain of a real headache that had come on all of a sudden. What the hell was I supposed to do if he was? Without realizing it, I let out a groan.

"Are you alright Charles?" Hank asked me, concerned.

"Just a headache...I'm tired. I'm still recovering from the surgery and everything. I think I need to lie down for awhile if you don't mind."

"But sir! What about Magneto?" Alex persisted.

"In all honesty Alex, I don't think he's coming for us. What point would there be in taking us four? In case you hadn't noticed, I'm in a wheelchair now for god's sake, hardly a threat to him. OR of any real use if he were actually hoping for that from me. I would be nothing but a hindrance. He knows where I stand with the whole human/mutant matter and knows that I refuse to budge. If he is indeed building an army, I doubt it's to come after us. He'll have bigger plans for his 'army', I'm sure." I snapped at him.

I found as I was saying the words that they were true. Erik wouldn't come after us, I was now positive of that. But I also realized that he wouldn't be coming FOR us...for me either for the very reasons I had said. The thought of this crushed me. But it also did make me wonder what he was up to...if he was indeed "building an army"... but then I knew what...with Shaw gone there was only one other thing he hated as much as Shaw...he would go after the human population next. Suddenly, I felt sick. He couldn't! I had to see him...find him somehow...reason with him...talk him out of this!

I also now noticed the three boys staring at me. It was then that I realized how I must have sounded to them. What was happening to me? Where was all of this anger coming from? Me, who was generally the "peace-keeper"...the one to come in between any two or more people where tensions were brewing and calming everyone down before any fighting or anything of that nature could break out or get out of hand. But I already knew the answer to that...

I ran my hand through my hair and said apologetically, "Oh god...I am...so sorry...my apologies to you Alex...to all of you. It's all a bit...overwhelming for me you have to understand. I'm still getting used to...everything." I gestured half-heartedly towards my legs and chair.

"Of course Charles, we understand completely." Hank replied for all of them, sympathetically.

"You probably know that Moira stocked the place with food, so please, go and knock yourselves out. You know where everything is, make youselves at home. I'll...I'll be in my room lying down if you should need me."

With the three of them now back in my home, there was no other room I could use to sleep in. At least not without raising their suspicions.

"You rest Charles. We won't bother you." Hank promised.

"No, you can, " I insisted. "I mean, if there's an emergency of any kind, although I kind of doubt there will be."

"Can we help you? With...anything?" Hank asked me.

"I can manage on my own!" I replied rather curtly. Immediately, I was ashamed of my short-temperedness, something usually so foreign with me, yet I couldn't seem to control it. More calmly, but still with a hint of bitterness, I explained. "I learned how to do everything at the hospital that I will need to do to look after myself. Dressing, undressing, getting myself in and out of bed..." Looking up at all three of them, I went on a little more gently. "Just give me some time chaps. And please...please don't take any of this...anything personally. This is not against any of you whatsoever."

"You have had some very serious things happen to you Charles, a lot that you have had to deal with. We understand that." Once again it was Hank who spoke up. "You go. We'll be fine."

I looked at all three of gratefully, giving them a weak smile. Yes...I had, I thought to myself. And even more than they realize. "Thanks.." I turned my chair around in the direction of my room, but turned back momentarily, "It really is good to see you again. All of you." This time my smile was bigger, brighter and more genuine because I meant what I said. I turned towards the direction of my room again.

"Charles?" Hank spoke up again. I stopped my chair and turned half way around so that I could see him. "We want you to know that we are here for you."

I was touched. "Thanks.." I repeated nodding my head slightly, not trusting myself to say anything further, but it seemed to be enough. Once again, I turned and this time made my way to my room.

I finally got myself settled on my bed, but I was far from falling asleep. My thoughts went automatically to Erik as I tried to think of how I could make contact with him. I had to see him...find out about what he was planning on doing. If it was indeed...something bad-the very thought pained me-I couldn't just sit around letting him...although I didn't know how I would be able to stop him either.

Hell, I didn't even know how I was going to manage to make contact with him, let alone stop him from...from whatever it was he was planning. These thoughts made me both sad and bitter...

From time to time, my thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of laughter coming from somewhere else in the house from the boys or the sounds of them egging each other on...I couldn't help but smile at them. I was glad that they came back here the same day that I had...it would have unbearably quiet if they hadn't. However hearing them, my thoughts now turned to something else I needed to address and as soon as possible. About what I should do...what I had to do. What would be best for those boys. Of course it was obvious. There was only one solution. I didn't like it myself but realistically, what other choice did I have?

At some point, I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was waking up. The nap seemed to help clear my headache so I decided it might be an idea to go and check up on my three houseguests.

From the looks of things, it was evident that the boys had kept themselves both busy and fed. Realizing that I was now hungry myself, I found myself something to eat before looking for the boys. After I ate, I went down the hall that goes by the library and coming upon it, I glanced in and noticed that the table had been returned to it's position and the game had been set up again. Hank saw me and offered to play a game of chess with me which I accepted. I realized he was doing it to take my mind off of things as well as because he knows how much I enjoy playing the game.

"And no cheating with your mind Charles." He teased me.

"You know how much I enjoy a challenge Hank. And after all, where would the challenge be in cheating?"

Sean and Alex even watched for a bit but eventually grew bored with it and I really couldn't blame them as chess is hardly an exciting game for spectators. They went off to do their own thing. I appreciated Hank's offer to play. He and I had played before and he had proven himself to be a worthy opponent although not as challenging as Erik had been...I quickly pushed that thought from my mind and brought myself back to the present and gave the game my full concentration...

Later that night, when I could no longer avoid going to my room to sleep, I tried to convince myself that as Erik and I had never actually used my bed or room, that I was sleeping in a different place altogether. But of course it didn't work. The memories were just too strong even in here. Then again, as he had been living in my home, the memories were strong throughout the place. But hardly surprising, they were the strongest in my room. I sighed as I slowly got myself ready for bed and then evetually got myself in bed. Had I been able to, I would have curled myself up into a tight ball. But naturally that was out of the question too. In the hospital, I had welcomed thinking of Erik but now back at home again I was all too keenly aware of the emptiness beside me where Erik would normally lay, his body spooning against my own like a perfect fit, our fingers entwining as we held hands. I felt the sharp pain of loneliness of not having him to talk with as we had shared many conversations during the nights in the privacy of our room. I knew I was in for a long night..

As it turned out, I did manage to get some sleep although haunted by dreams of Erik visiting me in my room again only this time I knew they were just that..dreams. The next morning after breakfast I encouraged the boys to go outside into my gardens to burn off some of their energy. I followed deciding to enjoy my grounds in the good weather before having to talk with them. I felt bad for what I would have to do as they were all good lads and I had come to think of Hank as more or less my equal scientifcally. But it couldn't be helped. As I hadn't been able to sleep all that well, I had spent a good part of the night trying to figure out a way, but there really just wasn't one, at least not that I could see. I smiled as I watched them remembering the days when we had all trained together. I decided to let them exhaust themselves before talking with them. In the meantime, I 'strolled' through my gardens thinking..

After awhile, Sean and Alex lead by Hank came over to me, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hey fellows..." I greeted them with a smile. "Listen...I need to talk to you about something." I decided to jump right in without any preamble.

All three gave me their attention but I could tell that they were on their guard.

"What is it Charles?"

I knew it was going to be hard so I decided to plunge right in. Licking my lips I said, "I've been doing a lot of thinking and...I've come to the conclusion that...that I am going to close this place up."

I had told Moira that I was going to open up my place and turn it into an academy for young mutants. But I had been finding since I returned home that my heart just wasn't into it. Not without Erik by my side...and of course Raven. And there were too many memories here. Perhaps one day in the future I could consider it again but for now, it was out of the question.

The silence was deafening...and then came the explosion as everyone burst forth at once in choruses of "WHAT?!" and "You CAN'T!"

"Sir! I am NOT going back to prison! I don't want to have to be locked up again! I'm free to be myself out here!" Was Alex's response.

"I'm sure that won't be necessary Alex as I have taught you how to control your mutation."

"And just what I am supposed to do Charles? Looking like this? I can hardly go waltzing back to my old life like this!" Exclaimed Hank.

Sean didn't say anything at first as like me, as like myself it was easier to keep his mutation hidden. Still, he didn't look any more happy than the other two about what I had just said. Then he did speak up, "Can't we just live here with you sir? I don't want to go back either..."

"I most likely won't be here myself." I told them softly.

"Where will you be going?" Hank asked curiously.

"More than likely to some teaching position at a college or university."

"You obviously don't need the money so why?" Alex pointed out.

"Because it is not in my nature to sit around.." I winced slightly here "..and do nothing either."

"You would hate it Charles! You know you would!" Hank protested. "Especially when it has been your dream to show the world that mutants do exist and that we are not to be feared...and that mutants and humans can and should co-exist."

"That's all it was Hank...a dream." I told him firmly, but feeling my heart break as I said the words.

He was right of course. I would hate being stuck, teaching what I would be expected to teach-not what I would want to teach, what I felt should be taught and HOW it should be taught-in a classroom. But I didn't know how I could go after my true dream anymore either. Everything was against me now and it had seemed like the only possible solution for myself was a teaching job, given that I was wheelchair bound.

But Hank was also right about somethng else...he COULDN`T go back to his own life. Not with his now permanent mutation. That was a given. I sighed.

"Okay...I won't send you back." I finally conceded after several minutes. "I'll stay here. We'll stay here." This time the explosion were of cheers and whoops at my words. "But..." I held up my hands to them, "...there are things we...I need to figure out. Like how I'm going to get in touch with Erik..."

No sooner were the words out of my mouth when...

"_Charles..." _

I looked at the three in surprise. "Did one of you fellows just whisper my name?" Taken aback, all three shook their heads. "None of you?" I had to be sure...I reached out with my mind...and then I was sure...I could feel him. I could feel Erik and inside of my head.

_"Charles..." _

That's when I knew for sure! He was nearby!

"Erik?! Erik! Oh my god! Erik! Where are you?!" I cried out exuberantly.


	6. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**(Charles)**

The other three stared at me in surprise. I hadn't immediately realized that I had called out loud to Erik as opposed to calling out to him in my mind.

"It's Erik! He's not wearing his helmet! I have the chance to make contact with him now!" I explained excitedly. I didn't even allow myself to think that it was a bit odd, the idea that he wasn't wearing his helmet AND had "said" my name. Like HE was the one trying to reach out to me...? At the moment it didn't matter. I was in contact with him and I didn't want to lose another single second. I sought out his mind with my own again and once I found it, I began to communicate to him. _"Erik! I've been hoping to get in touch with you somehow. We need to talk...where are your right now? Why don't you co...?"_

Then I felt it go up again, the "wall" that separated us. I knew what had happened, the helmet went back on.

"No! NO! Erik!" I pounded my fists onto my wheelchair arm rests in frustration. "Damn him anyway! I was so close!"

As frustrated as I was, the brief contact with him also made me think...why had he done that? There had to have been a reason for it. This thought and my brief encounter with Erik's mind gave me some hope. I looked at each of my "team" members and said in no uncertain terms this time, "Of course you must stay." After all, I might be able to use their help, I thought. "But understand that my first priority is finding a way to reach Erik and doing whatever I can to get him to talk with me. I must find out what he's up to." And of course I also hoped to get back on track with breaking through to where that good part of him lay and bringing it to the surface for once and for all as one of my biggest fears has been that he would cover what I had already unearthed and maybe bury it even further away inside of himself so that it would be lost forever...I couldn`t let that happen...

None of the three argued, I knew they were happy just to be remaining with me at my home. Once again, I was touched by their loyalty.

"I may require your assistance with this." I now admitted to them.

"What can we do to help?" Hank asked.

"Well to be honest with you, I don't know at the moment, aside from helping me think of a way that I can re-connect with Erik. Please share any ideas you have. Maybe if we put our heads together we can come up with something."

But try as we did, we weren't able to come up with anything plausible for the time being. Eventually, I told the boys to go off and do as they pleased, believing that NOT thinking of it so hard might help ideas come to our minds.

"And fellows...something else I want you to start doing again...seeings how we will be staying on here...Alex, Sean...I want you to continue to practice strengthening your mutations. Strengthening, perfecting AND...perhaps most importantly, learning to control them at your own will. I will continue to supervise you in this. Hank, I will need you...want you to assist me in any scientific matters. I want someone with your brains and ingenuity alongside me."

Alex and Sean grinned at each other then turned to me and nodded their agreement, while Hank fairly puffed up with pride and replied. "I would be honoured of course, Charles."

Their reactions made me realize that they had actually enjoyed their initial training...and even fighting an enemy. I could understand how they felt. The thrill of the action...the excitment...the adrenalin. Something I couldn't be apart of anymore. A thought that saddened me. Before I met Erik and Shaw, I never would have thought of myself as being the kind of person who would relish in that kind of "excitement". But I found that I really had. And now, that had been taken away from me. I tried to keep the bitterness of this thought from rising by telling myself that I could at least still be a part of it by continuing to instruct and supervise my current mutant "students". And at least they were happy about it. I had to try and be happy about it too. And hopefully in the near future I really would be. It would take some time, like everything else I had to adjust to. This was after all, my life now.

Alex and Sean were eager to get back to practicing their mutations so that is how we spent the afternoon, each taking their turns with them, while the rest of us assisted in whichever way we could...

That night, even though we never had come up with any ideas of how I could reach Erik, I went to bed feeling much better than the night before. I knew I was in for a much better night's rest...

_"I am so sorry, Charles..."_

The voice came as a whisper to me sometime in the night, startling me out of sleep. It was so vivid, I thought it was real. As I awoke, I sensed I wasn't alone.

"Erik?" I called out softly, now noticing the silloutte of a body that was sitting on my bed. I also realized that he was holding one of my hands in his own.

With my free hand, I reached over to turn on a table lamp on the nightstand beside my bed. I found I wasn't close enough so I started pulling my body towards it in order to do so, but Erik leaned forward and turned it on for me. As he swtiched it on, he simlutaneously dropped my hand, then stood up and moved away from me and the bed all in a matter of a seconds. I immediately sensed his thoughts.

"No Erik...don't. Please...don't go...please..." I quickly reached my mind out to his to put him at ease. Almost at once he hesitated and then relaxed.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position then slowly started dragging my body towards to headboard so I could sit more comfortably. Before I could think, Erik was there beside me, first grabbing my pillows and placing them behind me against the headboard. Then taking me under my arms, he gently pulled me back, settling me against the pillows. Normally, I would have rejected any help but I knew that Erik did this because he was still feelilng guilty, so I allowed it.

"What are you sorry for, Erik?" I now asked knowing full well why, but wanting to hear it from him.

"You know why..." He gestured to myself and my legs.

"You must also realize by now that I have forgiven you for your actions that day. You are very passionate about where you stand with the humans Erik and I understand that. I can't fault your passion even if I still do not agree with it. You do tend to act and react to situations without thinking things through and seeing that there is another side. But you weren't holding the gun and you didn't purposely aim it at me with malicious intent to harm or kill me."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Charles." He replied gruffly.

"Well that's too bad because you have it regardless." I tried to assure him with a smile.

Erik didn't reply to this but I understood that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I decided to leave it for now.

"How did you get into the house, Erik?" I asked with a puzzled frown.

"It's a big place, Charles." He shrugged as he replied. "It was easy to sneak in while you were all doing your own thing in various rooms. I've been waiting in your room for awhile now."

"Why did you wait until night to come? I told you that you can come whenever you want to. You needn't have snuck in."

"In case you didn't notice Charles, you have company."

"What? The boys?" I replied, surprised. "I wouldn't worry about them."

"After all that has happened, I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to be here with them around...and them knowing I'm here. Beast especially doesn't like me, I don't think."

"It's fine Erik. Really. They know that I have been wanting to contact you. They know that I want to talk with you and that making contact with you is my first priority. They expect that you will end up here at some point. As for Hank, he said to me the other day that they, he, Alex and Sean know how much you mean to me."

Erik looked at me in surprise at these words. "As a good friend." I assured him.

"I still think I should remain hidden from them."

"And I don't." I insisted. "Erik...we are still good friends...aren't we?"

Erik hesitated.

"I still consider us best friends." I told him gently. "And the boys respect me and will respect my friendship with you."

But Erik remained non-commital. "Come...please sit down here with me again." I urged him gently, deciding to let it go for now.

Finally, he responded by settling himself back on the bed where he had been sitting when I awoke. Now that he was there, I found myself at a loss of how to find out what he was up to. I didn't want to be so obvious as to come right out and ask him. This time I was the one who reached out and took his hand in my own.

"I'm really glad you came." I told him honestly. "I...I've missed you being here. I've missed everyone. How it was when we were all living here." I decided to admit to him, hoping to ease him into a conversation that would lead me where I wanted to go. I had almost messed up by saying "How it used to be" but caught myself in time, feeling that those words would make Erik feel bad. He was feeling guilty enough as it was, I knew. I didn't want to make him feel worse.

"Me too.." He replied softly.

"Why don't you move back?" I asked sudden inspiration.

"I can't leave the others Charles. And I really don't think it would be a good idea for us...for Shaw's followers to move in here. I'm their new leader. I can't leave them and I most definitely cannot bring them here...you understand..."

Yes...sadly I did understand. Erik was right of course. Bringing Shaw's followers to my place would definitely not be the best of ideas.

"Speaking of which, I probably should be going now.." Erik now said. "Azazel..."

I was taken aback by his annoucement to leave and already...I hadn't even really had the chance to talk with him like I had hoped to! I knew I couldn't keep him here indefinitely, but I couldn't let him go yet either...at least...not without making plans for him to come back. As much as I didn't want him to leave so soon, perhaps it would be best as it would give me some more time to think of a way to get him to talk to me.

"You will come back, won't you Erik? I feel like we haven't really had very much chance to visit...since...since before that day on the beach. Even your visits to the hospital were rather limited..." Then it hit me. What should be a sure-fire way to get Erik to come back. "You know...I would really enjoy a chess re-match with you."

I saw Erik hesitate at my offer. He loved the game as much as I did. We were perfect opponents for it, both equal in challenging the other.

"I might not be able to refuse that.." He replied, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Good! Consider it a date then and soon." Erik didn't reply, but I knew why. "Erik..." I said gently, "If you are that concerned about meeting up with the boys, I will let them know ahead of time that you will be coming and that I need to speak with you privately. They will leave us alone, I promise. It really is better that they know you are here, trust me. You don't need to have anything to do with them. This is our business, not theirs."

Erik thought about this for a few minutes. I knew he was conflicted but I also knew he was coming around. This made me feel good because it told me that he did want to be here and with me. Finally he nodded his consent and I smiled in my relief.

"Alright then. Can you come back tomorrow?"

Erik immediately raised his eyebrows at me. "The sooner the better, Erik." I stated quickly and firmly.

Erik sighed but I noticed a slight smile came to his lip as he replied, "Fine...tomorrow...tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow evening." I nodded my approval. "I look forward to it. And plan to be here for awhile." I told him with a smile.

I was surprised when Erik didn't stand up right away and leave. Instead, he lingered on my bed. As we were still holding hands, he entwined his fingers with mine and taking my other hand, I clasped it firmly around both of our hands in an effort to show him how I still felt about him. As he looked at me, I could see in his eyes and his face that his feelings for me mirrored my own.

And after Erik left, even in my sleep and dreams, I was still feeling the softness of his lips on my own where he had gently kissed me before leaving. That kiss told me that everything was going to be fine...


	7. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6:**

**(Charles)**

The following morning during breakfast, I warned the boys about Erik's forthcoming visit.

"There is something you boys don't know that I feel is about time I share with you." I began.

All three looked at me expectantly.

"Erik came to see me in the hospital while I was there." I thought it was best to let them in on this first.

Sean started coughing as if he were choking on his food. Alex sprayed out the juice he was drinking and Hank's "hand" stopped mid-air with the piece food he was about to put in his mouth which was now frozen open. I decided to continue on quickly before they had the chance to reply.

"And last night...I had a late night visit from him again."

This time, I heard gasps.

"What did _HE_ want?" Hank growled.

"Hank...you said yourself that you know how much Erik means to me. I want you to know that the feeling is mutual for him. We had become best friends when we were all living here, you know that. He deserves the same respect that you show me. And I expect you...all of you to show him it." I stated firmly.

"But Charles, we know that he could be a loose cannon. He has taken over for Shaw like Alex pointed out the other day and who knows what he's planning!"

"And like I pointed out, we don't know that he is up to no good. He has not done anything at all that shows us that. I did not have much chance to find out anything last night, but I have invited him back here for a game of chess tonight. This will give me the chance to talk with him and find out if he is indeed up to anything. And to find out, I need you three to give us some privacy."

The three groaned at this, which made me understand that they were concerned for my safety. "Erik will not harm me. If he wanted to, he would have done so by now."

All three of them looked at me, then rather pointedly towards my legs, then back to my face again. "Erik did not do this to me!" I protested.

"You accused him yourself after it happened, sir!" Alex reminded me.

I sighed. "I mean, Erik did not do this to me on purpose. His actions of that day did cause this yes, but he didn't do it with the intent of hurting me. He does feel guilty about it."

"As he damn well should!" Hank exclaimed passionately.

"That's enough Hank." I stated firmly. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing has changed between Erik and myself. Not until he proves to me otherwise. And I want you to treat him as you did before, when he was living here. I will be fine. Everything will be fine."

"As long as you are sure Charles.." Hank said, obviously still skeptical of the whole idea.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. And speaking of which, I would even go so far as to say that I would trust Erik completely with my life. Still."

Alex, Sean and Hank all looked at me resignedly. "Okay." Hank agreed for them all. "But promise that IF he does try anything that you will scream to let alert us. We will stay close by."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Fine. I promise I will scream long, loud and clear **_IF_** that happens to be the case, but I can already guarantee that it won't be necessary." As funny as I found it, I really did deeply appreciate their concern for me as it was genuine.

"Sir...why would he go to see you at the hospital?" Sean asked curiously.

"Because he wanted to make sure his best friend was doing okay." I assured him with a smile that included all of them.

Throughout the course of the day, we continued on with Alex's and Sean's practices. But I found that I was having a hard time giving the boys my undivided attention as the thought of Erik's evening visit fairly consumed my thoughts. And while I was thinking a thought came to me. Something that I had been wondering about because in all of the time since I had met Erik, I never knew...never understood...I made a mental note to ask Erik about it that night...

We had not set aside a specific time for Erik to arrive but I was fairly confident that he would not arrive too late. Myself, Hank, Sean and Alex had our supper and then cleaned up. After that task was done I went to the library to make sure that everything was ready for his arrival, even though the chessboard was always in the "ready to play" position. I moved about the room restlessly, not knowing what else I could do while waiting for him. I decided to leave the library and go in search of the boys whom I found in the 'gym' . I found Sean and Alex on the floor wrestling each other and Hank looking on albeit, with a rather bored expression.

"Must I watch these two play fight all night?" He complained as soon as he saw me.

"Of course not Hank, you may do as you please. Perhaps there is something in the lab you would like to..." Suddenly Hank's eyes became very wide...wider than I had ever thought it was possible for him to make, then his mouth dropped open. He stood as if completely frozen in time.

I frowned. "Hank? Hank! Hank, what's wrong?" I started to become worried.

"Sorry Charles...we...should have warned you.." I heard Erik's voice behind me. I turned my chair around and faced Erik. ...And...another familiar blue colouring...

"Raven? Oh my god, Raven!" I cried out overjoyed at finally seeing my other dear friend for the first time since that day on the beach. I didn't even care about the fact that she wasn't clothed. In fact, it hardly even fazed me at that moment.

"Charles...it is so good to see you again!" She came over to me, leaned down, hugged and kissed me. "Oh...whoops!" She morphed herself into her human form-fully clothed-then hugged me again.

"It's fine Raven, really. I'm delighted to see that you have come to terms with your 'true self".

Raven looked over at Erik and smiled with what I interpreted as a..."lovers" smile, morphed back to her 'true self' and replied, "Thanks to Erik."

Inwardly I cringed. I didn't know what to think of that. Had she and Erik...? But then that kiss last night...what was going on? I could invade their minds and find out right now, but I had promised Raven that I would never read her mind...and in all honsesty...I was afraid of what I might see...

"Beast..." Raven smiled and now turned her attention to Hank who had finally managed to close his mouth. She walked over to him, reaching her hands out towards his.

"Mystique...Raven..." He replied barely audible. He hadn't stretched out his own hands, but more because he was in shock than anything else. Regardless, Raven took his hands into her own when she reached him and they smiled at each other.

"Oh...GOD..." Alex rolled his eyes, voicing his opinion of the scene in those two words as well as with a gesture of sticking his fingers down his throat and pretending to retch. "Why don't you two just rent a room?"

"Alex, that's enough!" I reprimanded him quickly. I was already getting my mind ready to reach out to Hank's in order to calm him down as I was afraid that he would pick up Alex and throw him across the room in his "beastly" anger. Thankfully, Hank didn't pay him any mind as apparently, he was completely captivated by Raven.

However, it didn't slip by Raven. She narrowed her eyes at Alex and said, "I see that some boys around here still haven't reached puberty. Running a daycare these days, Charles?"

"Raven!" I exclaimed as she gave me a slight wink and smile that she did not allow anyone else-namely Alex-to see.

"Beast.." She turned back to Hank. "As soon as I knew I was coming with Erik to see everyone, I was hoping to be able to take a walk on the grounds as I hadn't done so in quite some time. I would love it if you would join me."

"The pleasure would be all mine of course...Raven..." Hank had eyes and ears at the moment for no one else but Raven.

Raven tucked her hand into the crook of his furry arm. Turning to me she nodded, "Charles...Erik..." Then sickeningly sweet, she pleasantly addressed Alex in particular, "Children..." I almost expected her to pat him on the head like he was the family dog.

As the two were quickly leaving the room I saw that Alex was getting ready to use his mutation against their retreating forms. "ALEX! NO!" I shouted just as Erik quickly lifted his arms and with a sudden twist of his wrists, lifted Alex off of his feet, thus distracting him from doing any harm. But now my concern turned to Alex and Erik.

"Erik, stop! Let him go...NOW!" I demanded noting that Hank and Raven were safely out of the line of Alex's fire. Erik immediately did as I bade and Alex landed in a heap. Quickly he jumped up to his feet, ready to square off with Erik.

"Okay..._STOP! RIGHT NOW! BOTH OF YOU_!" I shouted again, quickly wheeling myself in-between the two and stretching out both of my arms on either side of myself, one towards Erik, the other towards Alex. They both looked at me in surprise. "Alex...you have always been a bit of a hot-head but Rule #1: You never..._NEVER_ go after another with your mutant powers with the intent to harm them, especially if they have _NOT_ threatened, physically harmed or tried to harm you or anyone around you! And _MOST_ especially if that person is Raven! Can't we all just get along even for a few minutes?! My god, how we ever managed all of us living together before is beyond me if are already at each other's throats!" I stopped here to catch my breath, feeling let down by the actions and reactions of everyone. I suppose it was my own fault for expecting too much, too soon.

I saw Erik and Alex exchange looks, look back at me and then Erik started to laugh. "This is how it always was Charles! Don't you remember? And it was all in good fun. All in good fun then...and now." Here Erik looked pointedly at Alex who said,

"He's right sir...I wasn't going to do anything, honest."

I quickly looked into Alex's mind to see that he was telling the truth. I now allowed myself to think back to that time and realized that Erik was right. Even though I had told everyone involved that there was nothing to fear from each other, I myself had become so concerned about how Erik and the boys were going to react to one another, that I had already convinced myself that they would be after each other right off the start.

While this was going through my mind, I actually saw Erik give Alex a friendly slap on his back in comradeship. Alex responded by giving Erik a lopsided grin. Sean came over and joined us acknowledging Erik a half smile and nod. I gave an inaudible sigh in my relief and felt much better about everything.

"Life certainly was never dull when we were all here before, was it?" I addressed the three of them with a half smile of my own, appreciating the memory. Then deciding that enough time had already been wasted, I went on. "Well, I did invite Erik here for a chess game so why don't you fellows carry on with whatever it is you want to do while Erik and myself settle into our game." As I turned to leave the gym, I added with a wink, "And try not to break anything chaps, including each other."

Erik followed me out of the gym and as we made our way to the library, I told him whole-heartedly. "Thank you for bringing Raven with you this time. It is absolulely lovely seeing her again. What a fantastic surprise."

"I admit that I had more than that one reason for bringing her with me Charles."

"And what would the other reason or reasons be?" I asked curiously.

"Most selfishly...to act as a buffer between Beast and myself." Erik continued. "And it seemed to have worked. But also, because you told me to plan to stay awhile and I felt it might be a good idea to use her as an excuse to be away from the others for however long was needed. None of the others know her or her story, so I fabricated an "urgent" reason for her to have to leave, telling them that she would need me to accompany her."

Erik's words gave me hope that he and Raven be staying for more than just the evening. To have both of my dearest friends at my place once again...I was beyond happy at the moment. But then...I remembered...I remembered the way Raven had looked at Erik just a short time ago...

We had just reached the library when I recalled this and we entered the room. I closed the door behind Erik but suddenly I had no desire to play the game.

I turned to face Erik who had just taken his usual seat at the chess game table. "Erik..." He realized that I had become serious. He straightened up and looked over at me inquiringly. "About Raven..." He waited for me to go on. "Do you..." I paused not sure how to pose my question. I tried again. "Have you and she..." I paused again. "Did you and Raven...do you...you know..."LIKE" her? In..."that way"?" I didn't want to have to say the words. I didn't even want to hear the answer but at the same time I had to know.

"Are you trying to ask me if I have slept with Raven, Charles?" Erik looked genuinely shocked. Reluctantly, I gave my head a slight nod. "Good god, no!" Erik hesistated here before resuming. "There was one night when we were living here that I did find Raven in my bed..." I looked at Erik in astonishment...I hadn't known about this! "BUT...all that happened was one kiss. I had told her to leave but we did share one kiss before she left. That was a mistake, but it just kind of..happened. I am very fond of her of course in much the same way that you are, but no...nothing more has happened since that night, I promise you. I have never even thought about it. What would make you think such a thing?" Erik replied. But before I could say anything, Erik vowed passionately. "I would never do that to you Charles!"

As soon as those last words were out of his mouth, a strange look came over Erik's face. But almost before I could register it in my mind, it was gone. It had happened so quickly that I couldn't even be sure that I actually saw it. And because the relief I felt at Erik's reply about Raven was so immense, it was immediately forgotten. "It was the way she looked at you when she thanked you for helping her to feel comfortable in her own skin so to speak." I explained.

"Oh?" Was Erik's puzzled response.

Then I became serious again. "Erik...please be careful with Raven. I honestly believe that her feelings for you go beyond friendship."

"But she's off with Beast right now." Erik pointed out.

"You set that up though...didn't you? After you told me that one of the reasons you had brought her was to be a buffer between you and Hank, I assumed that was your doing." I admitted.

But Erik shook his head. "No. That was completely her. I had nothing to do with it."

I contemplated this for a moment before responding. "I think she is very "fond" of Hank and there definitely was something between the two of them at one time, but I don't know if there is anything more than just a good friendship for her with him now."

This time it was Erik who was thoughtful for a few minutes. "You have my word about Raven, Charles. I promise not to hurt her."

"Thank you, Erik." I said feeling better about the situation and now felt ready to take Erik on. "And now...shall we have our game?" I wheeled myself to my spot and our game commenced...

The game took longer than it normally would have but we hadn't been able to play it in several weeks and we were both being more careful about our moves than we were the last times we had played. In the end Erik beat me, but only just.

"Very well played Charles, that was quite a rematch. I really enjoyed it. Perhaps we will play again?"

"I would not only like a rematch, I expect to have the chance to get even with you." I smiled over the game at him. "I hope we can have one soon again.

"I think I might be able to arrange that." Was Erik's reply.

"Good." I wheeled myself away from the game and over to a liquor cabinet where I poured a drink for Erik and myself. He followed me over, picked up both glasss and then went over to a small settee where he made himself more comfortable. I moved myself over and joined him at the settee where Erik handed me my own drink.

This was it, the time had come at last. I took a sip of my own drink. I decided to start with the question I had come up earlier in the day. I knew it was going to be a sensitive subject, so I took another sip and looking into my glass but not really seeing it's contents I asked my question and braced myself for Erik's reaction.

"Erik...I have wondered about something...what is your real reason for hating the humans so much?"

Only now I dared to look at my friend. I had instantly felt Erik stiffen at my question. Now I saw as he straightened his back and sitting up tall, he looked right at me as he replied rather sarcastically, "Don't you _KNOW_ why Charles? Can't you **_SEE_** why?"

"I would rather you told me why yourself..." I answered him. Erik continued to look at me but didn't answer so I went on. "But if that is how you want it...if you would rather I found out for myself..." I stopped here and reached my mind into his, searching for the answer to my question...and I searched...and searched...but after several seconds, I frowned as I found that I was unable to read anything about Erik's hatred towards humans. I was at a complete loss as this had never happened to me before. I had never had a situation where I had NOT been able to read another persons's mind. Even with a forgotten memory such as the one I retrieved for Erik when I showed him the line between rage and serenity I was still able to read... However...I HAD _felt_ that _something _was there...I was extremely puzzled by this.

Unable to retrieve anything, I looked at Erik who was now looking visibly relieved...almost smug and definitely more relaxed. "It's just as I have told you, Charles. My reason is because they don't like us because we are not like them. We are different from them so they automatically mistrustust us. They would rather "shoot and kill us first and ask questions later". Or rather, not even bother with the questions."

But it was more than that. I know it was because I had definitely felt something in Erik's mind...something beyond Erik`s constant idea of `humans being unaccepting of anything different than themselves`.

"But Erik...of course they are going to react to something they have never seen before! The majortiy of the world still does not even know that the mutants exist. You can't have someone like Hank suddenly turn up in front of them and expect them to NOT be afraid!" I tried to explain. "The humans do not understand Erik. They fear what they don't know or understand. But _WE_, the mutants _CAN _change their minds about us and without resorting to violence to do it. I _KNOW _we can. But it's not going to work by taking them by surprise and scaring them!" I tried to reason with him. "It's a natural instinct to react the way they do!"

Erik fidgeted around a bit in his seat and then hedging the topic, he said, "I thought I was only coming here for a friendly visit and chess game, not a goddanmed lecture!"

Instantly I was sorry for bringing it up. I held up my hands in front of me in surrender. "You're right Erik. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. We haven't had the chance for a friendly visit in awhile. Please...let's just drop it and talk of more pleasant things, shall we?"

I was disappointed of course but at the same time, I didn't want Erik...and Raven to leave already. If they had actually planned on staying for at least the night, then I wanted to make sure they stayed. If possible...for even longer. And now that I knew this was a possibility, I knew I had more time to work at trying to figure out what Erik was up to..._IF_ anything. And to hopefully "work" with him again, where we had left off..

And trying to read that part of Erik`s mind but unable to was still strong in my own mind. What was going on there? It was indeed a puzzle and one that I intended to solve. And in order for me to do so, I needed Erik to be here...


	8. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**(Erik) **

I cannot describe my emotions when I first heard Charles invade my mind when I had left myself open for him to find me. I was not expecting him to be so welcoming towards me. I couldn't fathom the idea that he was not angry with me after all, but rather...happy to have heard from me...that he had been wanting to make contact with me and he wanted to see me. I had put my helmet back on so that I could digest the concept...

And as I left, I was already making plans to go and see Charles that night...I could feel that it would be alright to do so.

It was easy for me to sneak...I hardly even had to 'sneak' if I am to be honest as Charles's place is a mansion...'palace' as I sometimes refer to it to tease him. I had no trouble "sneaking" into Charles's place and make my way to his room...and into our room where the memories of the love we had shared there were still very strong.

I had left the door to our room ajar enough so that I would know when Charles was coming into his room to get ready for bed. And finally when he did come into the room, I closed the door quietly, but left it open enough for me to peek through and watch. It ripped my heart apart to watch him as he slowly struggled through the simple, nightly ritual of getting ready for bed and once again my guilt intesified causing me to wonder what I was doing here. How could it be that Charles would even want to see me? I just did not, could not understand it. And because of my guilt I found that it was hard to make myself go and see him while he was awake. It would be so easy to just leave after he fell asleep... I was immediately ashamed of myself for even thinking of abandoning Charles. I had made a vow to myself that I would NOT hide from him or his injury. Yet despite that, I still waited for him to fall asleep as I found I wasn't quite ready to face him.

Once I knew he was asleep, I emerged quietly from our room, went over and sat down on his bed. The dark room gave me some inner strength again so gently, so as not to startle him awake, I took his hand into mine own.

"I am so sorry, Charles..."

Came my whisper without me even realizing I was doing it until it was out of my mouth. It was enough that it woke Charles.

Again, Charles surprised me with his unwavering warmth and...love. And I knew I wasn't deserving of any of it. I reacted by quickly standing up and very nearly leaving now that he was awake but he reached out to me before I could do anything about it and almost at once, I felt at ease...

I won't deny that I really liked being back at Charles's mansion. Even though I had another place now, a place where I was the leader, Charles's felt more like home to me. Something I hadn't had since before my parents and I had been taken to the concentration camps. I enjoyed the power I now held over Shaw's old followers but...it was lonely. And being back here at Charles' made me realize just how lonely it really was. We had been a team, Charles and myself...and I had meant it that day on the beach when I had told him that that I wanted him on my side...

If I'm to be honest again, I think I was waiting for an excuse to spend more than just a couple of hours at his place. So when he offered the chess re-match to me, I couldn't refuse. And even though he had caught me off guard by suggesting that I come back the following day already, I really was happy to accept. It was settled but I still wasn't quite ready to leave him yet. And when I did, I couldn't resist kissing him good night like we had done many times in the past...and like none of the recent events had actually occured...

I dreamt of Charles that night after I returned to my own place and was in my own bed. I dreamt of him slipping into my bed behind me...I even felt one of his arms slip through my own and drape over my chest. I felt him kissing my back...I smiled and turned over to face him. "How did you get here, Charles? How did you find me? How did you get yourself into my bed? Is it that you can walk again?" I asked him in my dream, ecstatic that it had all been a mistake, the injury I had inflicted upon him. I didn't wait for an answer. Instead, I sought out his lips with mine, but frowned when I found them. They were definitely not Charles's lips..

Startled out of sleep my eyes flew open to see Emma Frost in my bed, beside me.

"Emma! What are you doing here?" I gasped, realizing it was a stupid question as it was obvious what she wanted from me but I had gone from dreaming of Charles being in my bed to seeing Emma there instead in a matter of seconds. I was also concerned that I had spoken outloud in my sleep. But I figured out quickly enough that I must not have as Emma didn't mention anything about it.

"Do I really have to explain it to you?" She answered with another question, continuing to caress my body with her lips and hands in a way which rendered me speechless. "I thought you were smarter than that." She went on when I didn't say anything.

Between Emma stimulating me and myself being startled out of sleep I couldn't seem to bring myself to focus and before I knew it, my body took over reacting to the situation how it naturally would...like it used to...I rolled my body on top of hers..

"Now that's more like it..." she breathed, spreading her legs ready to recieve me..

It could have been dangerous as it was Charles whom I was thinking about the entire time...not Emma. She could have read my mind and seen that, but it was apparent that it was the last thing on her mind to do so.

When I felt her legs wrap around my body, the thought that Charles can no longer use his legs rushed into my head making me feel sad, bitter and angry...at myself. I reacted by becoming rough with Emma which only seemed to turn her on even more. A mistake. This was all another mistake!

And afterwards, I went and got myself a cigarette, lit it up but didn`t offer Emma one. It didn't matter, she helped herself to one anyway and rejoined me on the bed.

"I must say you are definitely a better lover than Sebastian was." She told me in no uncertain terms.

Of course she had been Shaw's lover. I think I more or less had always assumed that but hadn't allowed myself to think about it. And knowing that for a fact only made me feel worse.

I let Emma finish her cigarette before I told her, "You should go back to your room now, Emma." When she didn't reply, I continued on explaining, "It's just that...I don't think it would be wise for the others to know..."

Emma waved her hand and said, "Sebastian didn't care. Everyone knew."

"Yeah...well, I'm not Shaw, okay?" I replied rather tersely.

"Okay." Emma shrugged and got off of the bed to retrieve her robe from the floor. Then standing up and facing me, she slowly and deliberately she drew it on and over her body before leaving the room. I heaved a sigh of relief after she left.

I sat down on the edge of my bed feeling all sorts of of shame for what I had just done. I had cheated on Charles. Even if we were apart physically and geographically, mentally and emotionally I was still very much attached to him. But...what about Emma? She will come back to my room. I know she will. I had to figure out a way to avoid her...

Instead of sleeping that night, I put my helmet on so that Emma would not be able to read my mind and spent the rest of that night devising a plan taking Charles's words from earlier that night, "Plan to stay awhile." into account. Maybe that was the solution regarding Emma. At least temporarily. I would go to Charles's tomorrow as we had already arranged. But...I would stay...for a little while anyway...and...what could I use as an excuse...then, the perfect idea came to me...Raven. They would love to see each other again, that is a given. And no one here knows her. I will come up with an..."emergency" of some kind...family? Possibly...after all, she and Charles were practically family, having grown up together. Of course I would not bring up Charles to them but in my mind, it could be a "family" emergency and to Charles's is where we would be going.

It could work...except for...Emma. Even though I had told her that Charles was "gone", the others knew that he was alive when we left the beach so I knew it was only a matter of time before she would know that he is indeed alive. Also being a telepath, she might find out what is really going on. Even though she is not as strong or powerful as Charles and we are living far enough away from him that it would be difficult for her to read him, she still might be able to get enough of a read to be able to figure it out. I wouldn't take a chance on that happening. I would have to deal with her...make sure that she doesn't say or do anything...

The following morning, after I made my announcement to everyone, I caught Emma firmly by her elbow and led her away from the group.

When I decided we were far enough away from the others I turned her around roughly and said before she could say anything, "You are going to listen to me and listen good because I need your help." This got her attention. "You can read my mind if you want to, but I am going to tell you the truth. I am going to see Charles." I heard her gasp. "Yes, you heard me right. Charles is still alive. And the reason I am going is because the best way to take him down is to gain his trust. And to do that, I am going to be paying him a visit. I am taking Mystique with me because they were very close at one time as you know and it should verify to him why I am there. But I need your promise...your vow that you will NOT breathe a word of this to ANY of the others as I think it's just easiest and best if only you and I know where I am really going and why. Do you understand?"

Emma nodded and replied, "Yes" then paused. "As he is a telepath too, I expect that you will have to have your helmet with you."

"Of course I will take my helmet yes. But don't you think it would look suspicious if I am wearing it while there for a 'friendly visit'?"

"Aren't you afraid that he will be able to read your mind if you don't wear it though?"

"My dear.." Inwardly I gagged as I said this. "I have learned how to control my thoughts so that Charles doesn't always know what I am thinking." I finished, smiling outwordly.

This much was true. I had learned how to keep my thoughts to a minimun and under control but it was more because of Emma than Charles as I know Charles...he doesn't always read my mind anymore...he prefers that I tell him. He only reads it when he feels it necessary. And this trick of mine was in fact already coming in handy as far as Emma is concerned...

"Why not just go and kill him?" Of course Emma would ask this, but again, I was prepared.

"Because where would the fun be in that? Do you not think it more fun to have a bit of sport before the kill?"

Emma matched my smile. "I like how you think."

I kept my smile pasted to my face as I went on, "I'm glad you approve."

Then wiping the smile off of my face, I told Emma. "Mysitque doesn't know the reasons for us going there. She thinks that we are just going to pay him a visit. That is all she knows."

Emma nodded her understanding. I gave an inaudible sigh of relief. I was pretty sure that Emma understood that no matter what she read of either of our minds if she was able to, that what she read she would interpret as being part of "the plan"...

To further "convince" her, quick as lightning, I put a hand to her throat and speaking rather harshly, I now told her in no uncertain terms what a broken promise from her would get her, "And make no mistake Emma...if I find out that you have betrayed me in _ANY _way...if you have told anyone of my plan...where I am...I _WILL_ kill you and Charles won't be around to stop me the next time. I won't think twice about doing it. I will be wearing my helmet so you won't know when I will come after you. You won't know know what hit you. You will just cease to exist." I looked directly into her eyes as I was telling her this. I saw the fear in them but I also saw the...fascination. It sickened me. "Good. I'm glad we have an understanding. I need you to obey me Emma in order for me to carry out my plan. I can't have anything go wrong or my plan to take Charles out will fail. And I won't have that."

This time Emma's smile was even wider. I relaxed. I knew she would obey.

It had occured to me after I had made up my mind about using Raven as my excuse to stay away for awhile that her presence could also serve as a buffer between Beast and myself. I admit that even though Charles promised to fore-warn the boys about my visit and that they would respect his friendship with me, I still felt a bit nervous about meeting up with them again...Beast in particular.

I watched Raven as we entered Charles`s grounds together and then as we approached and entered his house. She could not keep the smile off of her face as she took everything in again..._drank_ was the word that actually came to me..._drank _everything in.

"You're happy to be back." I stated.

Raven nodded her head and replied, "I have nothing but good memories here, growing up and living with Charles." She admitted. "But I am also happy being with you, Erik." She assured me.

I didn't know how to reply to that so I just gave her a smile and nod in return.

Once inside, we looked around in the most obvious places and eventually heard voices and followed them.

I felt a mixture of relief along with a desire to laugh when we found everyone as Beast's expression when he first saw Raven was rather comical, but I didn't dare laugh at him. The relief came when I saw that bringing Raven along with me had exceeded my expectations of her being a buffer between the two of us as Beast didn't even pay any attention to myself.

It was funny how things didn't seem to be, or didn't seem to feel all that much different now than before...almost as if nothing had changed. Almost.

It made me feel good to see how happy Charles and Raven were at seeing each other again. Not that I hadn't been expecting it, it was just nice to know that I had done something right...something good for Charles for a change.

There was a bit of a go around with everyone after we made our appearance but after getting everything sorted, Charles and I were finally alone in the library ready to start our game, when I was startled that instead of taking his usual spot, Charles brought up myself and Raven instead. Looking back, I realized that there had been a brief moment or so when I had found Raven in my bed that night that I had allowed the thought of sleeping with her to enter my mind. But it had passed after we kissed and when I made myself remember just how close she and Charles were. I meant it when I said I wouldn't do that to Charles. I wouldn't do that to Raven either as I knew it wouldn't be right between the two of us.

But the moment those words were out of my mouth, my mind took me unwillingly to the previous night with Emma and again, I felt horrible about what had happened. I quickly made myself recover in hopes that Charles wouldn't notice...

Thankfully, he suggested we start our game for which I was grateful and I was more than ready to challenge him.

I was pleasantly surprised at how everything continued to be just how it used to be, right down to Charles fixing our drinks. I carried them back to the settee and made myself comfortable on it.

So content was I in that moment that I was completely unprepared for Charles's question about what my real reason for hating the humans is.

What a ridiculous question! Hadn't I told him numerous times why?! He **_KNOWS_** why! I felt annoyed as well as a bit angry that he felt he should have to ask me again!

Of course I have no other answers for him, so he can search my mind all he wants too. I allowed him to as maybe finally for once and for all he will **_KNOW_** that there are no other reasons and will stop asking me. He won't learn anything different. Search away my friend, seach until your heart's content...you will find nothing...


	9. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 **

**(Charles)**

The closer Erik and I grew during the course of our friendship, the less I felt it was right of me to invade his mind whenever I wanted to know something. This was one thing I had always promised Raven that I would never do to her...except in cases of emergency. With Erik I had been feeling the same way for awhile now...that I didn't have the right to do this to not only my best friend, but my lover. Besides...I really did prefer that he tell me personally. However, in the case of wanting to know his plans for the humans, it was obvious that it was not one of those things I could just come out and ask him about. So when I was looking for Erik's real reason for his hatred towards humans I was so intent on finding it that I hadn't thought about looking for his plans for the humans. I felt justified in doing so as I quickly probed his mind again for this...and found nothing. I didn't know if this was the same thing as not being able to find out why he hated the humans or not. But then in that case, I HAD _felt _something. In the case of his plans for the humans, there just wasn't anything there so I had to assume that for the time being, he had no plans for them. My relief was there, but cautious. But something else I had very briefly encountered in his mind had caught my attention.

"What about Emma, Erik?" I asked outloud.

Once again, Erik's face had shown that same brief strange expression as it had earlier when we were talking about Raven and himself. I had forgotten about it until I saw it again. Was it a "stricken" look? I couldn't be sure.

"What do you mean Charles?" He asked me cautiously.

"I know you broke her out of her "prison". And she is a telepath like myself. Won't she know that you are here? I didn't think the plan was to let Shaw's men in on your whereabouts. Let alone where I...we live." I replied.

"Oh...that." Erik looked genuinely relieved.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you that you can't trust Shaw's men, Erik. Even if you are their 'new leader', they are the kind who would just as quickly and easily turn on each other and you...and stab you in the back no matter what."

"Don't worry Charles...I do realize that." Erik replied just as solemnly and serious as I was.

"So what about Emma then?" I persisited. I had to know what was happening with the other telepath.

"Don't worry about her. First off, she is not as strong or powerful a telepath as you are. And we are living far enough away that she can't very easily get a reading on you if at all."

This reminded me of another question. "Where have you been living by the way?" I now asked, curiously.

"In one of Shaw's old places...in Russia."

I was astounded by this. He had told me that they weren't close by but I didn't actually think they were that far away either. It would however explain why I had never been able to contact him when I was in the hospital regardless of whether he was wearing his helmet or not as the distance between here and Russia would definitely have made it more difficult for me. And especially given the fact that I...my telepathic powers had been weakened by the drugs during my hospital stay.

"That was one of the reasons why I decided on his place in Russia...so that you would be far enough away to be in any kind of danger with them." Erik admitted. I was grateful to know that he was still looking out for me. "But to further answer you, I took care of her."

"As in...?" I frowned curious as to what he meant by this.

"I decided to tell her the truth about coming here."

"You did..._WHAT_?!" I asked in sheer astonisnment.

"Calm down Charles. I felt it was better if I tell her the truth about us being here rather than lie and take the chance of having her find out. God only knows what she might do if I had left it to chance and she ended up finding out while I'm here. You just said yourself that we can't trust them. I **_KNOW_** that. Which is why I felt it was better to be truthful about it to her. But I also threatened her life if she betrays my whereabouts to _ANY_ of the others."

"And you really think she will listen to you?"

"Yes...I honestly do, Charles."

I looked at Erik skeptically but in some ways I could see how his idea made some sense.

"You should also know though Charles that she believes that I have come to...to kill you."

This time I could only look at Erik in my shock.

"I had to have an excuse for coming here. What do you think she would think if I were to tell her that we were only here for a friendly visit with you? How do you think she would take that? She believes that we are here under the false pretense of a friendly visit in order to kill you. That way, _SHOULD_ she get a reading off of myself or Raven, she will only think it is part of the plan."

As crazy as it sounded, I had to admit that I saw the sense in this. Yet..."But what happens when you _DON'T_ kill me, Erik? What do you tell her then?"

"I guess you will have to win that fight." Erik told me, grinning.

"But then won't she think that you should all come after me?"

Erik frowned, "The thing about people like Shaw's Charles is that they _NEED _leadership. They are lost without it. They won't come after you if I don't give them the order to. They won't take it upon themselves to do so. Not without me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I _KNOW_ those kind of people Charles, they can't function as well individually or on their own as a group. There is no doubt that they are deadly together, but not so much without a leader."

"But won't they be suspicious if you don't order a hit on me?"

Erik shrugged. "I'm sure I can come up with something before then. I'm not worried." Erik paused here, then leaning forward he took both of my hands into his own, looked me straight in the eye and vowed with fiercely. "I will _NEVER_ let _ANYONE_ hurt you, Charles. **_EVER_**."

Even though I knew what he said was true, it was Erik's unbridled passion that rendered me speechless with emotion.

"Hey...it'll be alright." He promised softly, misunderstanding my emotions.

I nodded my head as I brought his hands up to my lips and gently kissed them. Erik leaned forward a little further to lightly kiss my forehead before resting his against mine. We remained in that position for a few mintues before we agreed wordlessly that we should probably break it up before we had any unexpected visitors.

We finished our drinks and realizing how late it was, we left the library to look for the others before heading to off bed. As we strolled companionably down the hallway, we noticed Hank and Raven saying their own goodnights at Raven`s old bedroom door. Moments later, Hank turned and started coming towards us. Erik stopped in his tracks and stiffened slightly.

"It's alright, Erik" I murmmered, reaching my mind out to his to calm him.

Again, there was no need to as Hank fairly floated up to us, stopping only briefly himself. "She calls me... 'Hank'..." He said dreamily.

"What?" I frowned, confused.

"Raven...she calls me 'Hank'...when we are alone. She calls me 'Beast' when we are with everyone else, but when we are alone, she calls me 'Hank'.."

And with that, he moved on towards his own room. Erik and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows. I had the feeling that I was going to have to have a talk with Raven...or Hank...or possibly even both, although not at the same time.

We stopped at Raven's door. "Raven?" I called out as I knocked on her door. A moment later, she opened it and smiled down at me. "You are fine with being in your old room?" I asked.

"Of course, Charles." She paused briefly. "It really is nice to be back here again." Her gaze shifted to Erik and then back down to mine. She leaned in to kiss my cheek and I reciprocated the gesture.

"And it's really nice to have you back." I smiled back. This time she hugged me and then we said our goodnights. Just like old times...

We came across both Sean and Alex also heading towards their own rooms. After saying our goodnights to them, we continued on to my room. I opened the door and went in fully expecting Erik to follow me inside as he used to. I was surprised when I wheeled around to find him still hanging around by the door.

"Aren't you going to come in, Erik?" I asked.

"I wasn't sure..."

"What do you mean you weren't sure?"

"If you would want me to...stay here with you."

"Don't be absurd, Erik! Of course I do!" I exclaimed. "Unless..." I paused, my chest tightening just a bit as I swallowed before saying the next words. "...you don't..." I wondered if Erik no longer wanted to share a bed with me because I couldn't be intimate with him anymore...the thought of this hurt me. I had hoped that I meant more to Erik than that...

"No...no...I do."

"Well don't just stand there, then!" I encouraged him with a smile, relief washing over me.

At my words he entered my room and shut the door quietly behind him. I wheeled myself over to the bed and started to pull my body up onto it when suddenly Erik was by my side and picking me up, he placed me onto it.

"Erik...as much as I really do appreciate your help, I need to do these things for myself." I started to explain gently.

"And I need you to let me help you once in awhile. Please Charles...please understand..."

The thing was, I did understand from his current perspective. But what Erik also needed to do was let go of his guilt. However, I had the feeling that if I brought this up now, it would only fall on Erik's stubbornly deaf ears. I could "make" him stop feeling guilty with my mind but it would only be a temporary solution and it would be under false pretences. I wanted Erik to stop on his own accord. I would have to think of what would be the best way to help him alleviate his guilt. Which meant that I would have to let him help me whenever he felt he should for the time being.

I started taking my clothes off when once again I noticed that Erik was still just standing, not doing anything except watching me.

"Aren't you going to get yourself ready for bed?" I asked him. "I thought you wanted to stay?"

"I do..." He finally came over to the bed, undressed himself, turned out the lights and then got into bed beside me.

"We've never slept in your bed before." He remarked.

"No...I guess we haven't..." I replied. A thought hit me just then. I didn't want Erik to stay with me because he pitied me or because of his guilt. I wanted him to stay with me because he really wanted to stay with me...

We lay there silently side by side for a few minutes, then I noticed Erik turning over onto his side to face me. Even in the dark, there was enough light filtering through that I could see that he had propped himself up on an elbow and was looking down on me. With his free hand, I felt him gently caress my arms and my chest. Then he lowered his face towards mine, bringing his lips down on mine. Now I felt his free hand move up to softly cup the left side of my face. He moved his mouth down to the side of my neck, caressing it with soft, small kisses. He continued on in this manner covering my chest and arms and eventually coming back to my mouth where I felt his tongue slip inside. We carried on in this manner for a little while until I was starting to almost feel out of breath.

"Erik..." I whispered breathing slightly harder now, my own hands running through his hair. He stopped and looked down at me. Then with one of his hands, he gently brushed his own fingers through the hair on my forehead.

"You're tired..." He stated.

I hated to admit it but I did still seem to be affected a bit by my injury. Of course I hadn't done anything like this since before it had happened either. I didn't say anything.

"I should be letting you sleep. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Erik. It was lovely." I was quick to reassure him. And now I knew for a fact that he wasn't staying out of guilt or pity for me. He did so because he wanted to.

He didn't reply, just continued to look down at me, one of his fingers softly tracing my jaw line before kissing me one last time for the night. As he settled down into the bed, he wrapped his arms around me and said,

"If you want to change your sleeping position at any time during the night Charles, just let me know. I will help you."

"I'm not going to wake you for that."

"I want you to." He insisted.

Normally, it did take me awhile to change my position whenever I wanted to. I wish it was easier for me to do so, but until I mastered it, it would continue to take time to do it.

"Alright." I finally agreed. After all, I might end up waking him up when I go to do it anyway. Something I hadn't thought about until he brought it up.

"Good." He sounded pleased. "Good night Charles."

"Good night Erik." I answered. Then a few seconds later I smiled in the dark and said with a slight chuckle, "Yes, this is very nice indeed Erik, being together again."

"Charles..." Erik chided me lightly.

"Sorry, that one got by me. I didn't do it on purpose. But it is a very lovely thought. Thank you, Erik."


	10. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**(Charles)**

I awoke the next morning feeling rested and refreshed for the first time in awhile (I don't include the drug induced sleep at the hospital). I knew why...having Erik beside me again was part of the reason. And having him help change my sleeping positions in the night, I wasted less time awake moving myself around into different positions which gave me more time to get the sleep I needed.

I woke up on my side with Erik's body spooned up against my own, one hand holding mine, our fingers entwined, in the same manner we had spent many nights before. I smiled as I brought his hand up to my lips and gently kissed it I wanted this moment to last...

But then I felt Erik begin to stir and kiss my back as he greeted me with a soft, "Morning Charles. Did you manage to get some sleep?"

"I had one of the best sleeps that I have had in awhile...thanks to you, Erik." I told him. "I hope you managed to get some sleep in between helping me.."

He now gently rolled me over onto my back then propped himself up an elbow and looking down at me replied, "I did Charles, but don't worry about me." Erik waved a hand.

We lay like this for a few minutes before Erik added, "I suppose we had better get up and dressed before we are discovered by 'the kids'." he joked using an old 'term of affection' of his for the others he used to use from time to time before. I couldn't help but smile at that. It amazed me how quickly Erik seemed to be falling back into his old self here. "Or at least I had better." He added kissing my neck.

I sighed regretfully. "I wish we didn't have to hide our relationship. At least not from the others here." I admitted to him now. Then, "Maybe we could tell them Erik! After all, they are mutants who have seen stranger things...worse things than our relationship. I think they would understand."

Gently caressing my arm Erik replied thoughtfully, "Perhaps it would have been alright before to let them in on it but now..." His voice trailed off here. Suddenly, I understood. I didn't like it, but I did understand. We had moved, for all intent purposes to "opposite sides". Our relationship would be strange enough to them regardless, but that we were involved in a relationship when we weren't even on the same side anymore...still...Erik w_as_ here and with me _now._ And if he stayed long enough...if I was able to get through to him...I stopped here before I got too far ahead of myself. I could only wait and see where this visit ends up taking us. But right now at this moment, I was bound and determined to give it all that I had...all that I could...

Erik leaned down and kissed me on the lips this time before getting out of bed to get dressed. I pulled myself up and asked him to hand me my own clothes so that I too could get dressed. Of course he was finished dressing before myself so while I was finishing up, Erik cautiously checked the hallway to make sure no one was about and then left so as not to be caught coming from my room, although we had an excuse ready from earlier times if that should occur. We had never had to use it. I sighed again as Erik closed the door. It would just be so much easier if they knew. But they would have to also be accepting of it...and as much as I firmly believe that they wouldn't have a problem with the idea of a same sex relationship, I had to admit that I could not be sure just how accepting of a same sex relationship consisting of Erik and myself they would be and especially now...

I allowed several minutes to pass to give Erik enough time to either go to his own room or wherever he decided to go to before I also left my room.

Raven was just leaving her own room as I was approaching it. "Good morning, Charles." she greeted me happily before leaning down to hug me.

"Morning love..." I reciprocated. "I'm surprised to see you up already."

"You usually get up around this time yourself so I decided that I wanted to get up when you did this time."

I couldn't help but smile at her. "That was lovely of you." I said. It occured to me just then that this might be the best time to talk with Raven about Hank. Becoming serious, I asked, "Raven...could I have a word with you, please?"

Frowning slightly she shrugged and replied, "Sure.."

I gestured towards her room, then wheeled myself through the door after her, closing it behind us.

"It is so good to see you getting around so well, Charles." She remarked. "When I saw you fall that day..." She stopped herself here. I could see the emotion in her face.

"But I'm here and that's what counts." I told her quickly with a smile before proceeding. "It has...and still does take a lot of getting used to." I admitted to her.

"Erik feels terrible about what happened..."

I held up my hands, "I know...I know exactly how he feels."

"Oh. Of course you do."

"That's not what I meant. I don't have to be able to read his mind to know he feels extremely guilty about it. He has to let it go though."

Raven seemed to look relieved at my words. "You don't hold it against him."

"I have forgiven him as it was an accident. He didn't stand there and purposely shoot me in the back. He never meant to hurt me. I know that. I've always known that."

"I'm so glad. I like it that the two of you can still be friends."

"Of course we are. But that is not what I want to to talk with you about."

"Oh. Right. What then?"

"Hank.."

"Hank?" She puzzled.

"Yes. Look...I know the two of you were close at one time but I also know that something happened...things cooled off...at least for you. Now you have come back and in case you hadn't noticed it yourself Hank has been walking one air since the moment he laid eyes on you when you and Erik arrived." I paused to catch my breath. "I'm just concerned for Hank's feelings, Raven. He's a good person who doesn't deserve to have his feelings toyed with."

"I'm not toying with his feelings!" Raven burst out, then was silent for several seconds before continuing. "It's...complicated..." She finally admitted to me, pacing around a bit.

"How so?"

"When we first met, I really did like him. He was sweet and seemed so...oh I don't know...vulernable, I guess. But we also found that we wanted the same thing. Just to be normal. Then he told me that he was working on a..."cure" for our mutations. Not to eliminate them, he hadn't been able to figure that much out, but just to hide them."

Raven stopped pacing and sat down on the edge of her bed. I wheeled myself over to her. Looking at me, she said, "You have never had deal with that part of being a mutant Charles...I _ALWAYS_ did. I loved and still do love you for accepting me for who I really am from the moment we met. But you have never understood what it was like from my perspective because you have never had to deal with it like I do on a daily basis."

Raven paused for breath here. I didn't say anything because I knew she wasn't finished. "But then Hank discovered...or I should say thought he discovered a "cure" that would hide our mutations. The night his mutation became permanent, he had come into my room earlier to let me know that the "cure" was ready and he had a syringe for me to take as well. But...I don't know...I had started having second thoughts about taking it. And..." Raven stopped here again, looked at me, and suddenly slightly nervous, licked her lips. "And..." she began again, "There was also Erik...I was sort of starting to..."notice" Erik..."

"Erik..." I whispered.

"I know...it's kind of strange isn't it as I was the one who gave him his "Magneto" name, and yet I can't seem to call him that now...because of my feelings for him. I think it's because it's too impersonal or something..."

Even though I more or less had guessed about her feelings for Erik, I was still unprepared to hear it from Raven herself. I shifted around uncomfortably in my chair.

"Oh, I am sorry Charles. I know how you and Erik feel about each other, I heard Erik call you "brother" that day on the beach. And as you and I grew up together we are as close as any brother and sister so I know it must sound strange to hear your "sister" talk about having feelings for your "brother" but don't forget none of us are related at all."

I had waved a hand in front of my face at her apology but I didn't know what else to say so I asked rather hoarsely, "And how do your feelings for Erik _NOT_ toy with Hank's feelings for you?"

"One day while I was lifting weights back when we were training, Erik came into the room and told me something that made me stop and think."

"What was it?" I asked curious.

"He said, 'You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself'. That really made me think Charles. So the night that Hank came to me with the "cure", I was already having second thoughts about it because of Erik's words...and just watching Erik after that, getting to know him, I realized he was right. And also, even though his own mutation is easy to hide, that he is not the kind who _WOULD_ hide it. I could tell that he takes...well...almost a pride in his. Anyway, I tried to explain to Hank that maybe we should consider not taking the "cure"...that we should not be the ones to conform to society but that they should conform to us. Hank told me that I am beautiful in my human form, but that no one would find me beautiful in my true form. That hurt me Charles. I do realize that Hank didn't say it to be malicious or hurtful he was just being truthful, but it still hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry Raven..." I said reaching out to take her hands in my own.

"After I saw what ended up happening to Hank after he had injected himself, I felt really sorry for him. He didn't want that of course. And I just wanted to make him feel better about himself and what had happened. I want him to accept himself for who he is now too...who he _REALLY_ is."

"So...this is just a friendship for you with Hank."

"I do still like Hank...it's just that...there's Erik..." She persisted.

I cringed slightly. "And...what about Erik?"

Raven sighed as she smiled, "He's...older...so...more mature than the other guys here. He's just so sure of himself...so full of confidence and very independent. He's not afraid of anything. I..." Here she stopped smiling and looked at me again. "I...I'm kind of embarassed to admit this to you but...that night after Hank left, I went to Erik's room. He wasn't there yet, he was no doubt still playing chess with you. So I...I got into his bed and waited for him to show up..."

Even though Erik had told me about this, I still found myself sucking in my breath at her words.

"Again, I am sorry Charles, just know that _NOTHING_ happened. Well...we did kiss. Once. But then Erik told me kindly that the time wasn't right for either of us. But I do still have feelings for him yes, because he accepts me for the _REAL_ me. I was in my human form when he came into his room. But he told me that he preferred the "real Raven". And when I went to leave, I asked him to hand me my robe and he told me that I didn't have to hide. That I am an "perfect"..."perfection" was what he actually said, an "exquisite creature"..." Raven's voice trailed off here.

Now I understood the reason for her feelings for Erik. It also told me something else...there was no way that we could tell Raven about our relationship.

"Charles...I'm not sure that anything will ever happen between Erik and myself..." Raven looked sad when she said this, "I know that he does like me, but sometimes I get the feeling that it is more of a 'sisterly' nature than a 'lover 'nature."

"I'm...sorry Raven..." I apologized yet again, feeling both relieved by her words but also felt sorry for her, to have these unrequited feelings.

"Perhaps you could...you know...maybe see if Erik fe..."

Even without reading her mind I know exactly what she was asking me to do. "No...no! Raven, you _NEVER_ wanted me to read your mind and you have said yourself you know how close Erik and I are. I won't do that to Erik now either. I'm sorry...please understand..."

Raven sighed, "You're right Charles. It was wrong of me to even think of asking you do to do that."

"I really am sorry Raven...but know that Erik _WILL _always be there for you and take care of you, no matter what. Of that I have no doubt."

"I know..." She paused here briefly then went on. "So getting back to Hank...I really do still like him Charles...he is the most mature one of the boys here. And regardless of his "beast-like" mutation, he is still sweet. At least to me he is. But I admit to being a bit cautious with him after that night...you know 'once bitten, twice shy'...see why I say it's complicated. I feel differently towards both of them. With Erik...it's...it's exciting...like living on the edge...a dangerous edge. With Hank, it's less exciting but more...stable...reliable. I don't know."

"I know you won't want to hear this Raven but perhaps what you feel for Erik is...an infatuation. He's more attractive to you because he is...exciting...dangerous. But also because he is ...'unattainable'."

Raven looked at me with a frown. "Unattainable?"

"By 'unattainable' I mean that he has told you that the time isn't right. That he is not interested in a relationship right now." I explained, starting to feel guilty about saying the words myself.

Raven mulled this over for a moment. "Maybe..." she finally replied sounding unconvinced.

"Hey...it's alright. We all go through this at least once in our lives. It's part of our maturing process. It's not fun, but unfortunately, it's part of life."

"It sure does stink." She replied unhappily.

"Yeah...I know...it does."

"Hey, I don't recall you ever going through something like this." She now pointed out.

"Males don't tend to let on about these things as much as females do." I was quick to reply hoping she would accept my answer.

"Hmmmm..." She murmured thoughtfully. "Yeah, you are no doubt right about that." She agreed much to my relief.

Taking advantage, I quickly changed topics on her.

"Raven...I _HAVE_ always accepted you the way you are too.." I told her gently.

"You will recall, that was the night I went to see you, I wasn't wearing any clothes and you couldn't even look at me."

"Because we grew up together Raven. You became a woman before my eyes. You are like my sister. If we were human, I would have just as hard a time looking at you without any clothes on. We all wear them."

"But this is skin of mine Charles...is different than human skin...this _IS_ my "clothing"..."

I paused for only a moment. "Okay. You are right of course. And I have gotten used to seeing you like this. But Raven, you have to understand something too. The reason why I have encouraged you to take on a human form is because, and I am _TRYING_ to make Erik understand this as well, because most of the human population does not know that we exist. And from what I know from my own observations of them over the years is that they are afraid of what they don't know, what they don't understand. But _WE_ can change their way of thinking. But we are _NOT_ going to succeed if we just pop up in front of them and expect them to accept us on the spot. I _DON'T_ want you to have to hide. I don't. But I _KNOW_ that we can't just walk out there and _BE_ accepted either. We have to gain their trust. Let them know that we are not going to harm them. And in order to do that, it must be a slower process."

Raven nodded her head in acknowlegdment and understanding so I continued. "Can I count on your help with trying to get through to Erik about this?"

This time she smiled and nodded. "Of course."

"Good. Thank you, Raven." I wheeled closer to her and kissed her on the forehead. Hopefully, having her help with Erik would work.

"Shall we go and get some breakfast ready for our sleepy heads?" I asked.

Raven laughed. "I would love to."

It was funny how things seemed to revert right back to how they had been before the day on the beach with all of us back under my roof. As 'the visit' continued, we all settled back into our old familiar routines. Even with Raven around, Hank eventually seemed to finally realize that Erik was there as well, but he seemed to be accept him being back, although I was pretty sure that he continued to stay alert and cautious as far as Erik was concerned but at least there were no confrontations between the two, much to my relief.

"Erik..." I addressed him after we were in bed one night.

"Mmm?"

"You've been here for several days now and I'm sure you know that I love having you here again, but I can't help but feel a little concerned that Shaw's people are going to start wondering where you are. Don't you think they might start getting suspicious about your prolonged absence?"

"They know to just carry on until I give them the signal that we are ready to return."

"Yes, but...they might still become suspicious. Doesn't it worry you?"

"No...not really. As you know Charles, I am their leader. They listen to me.

I hesistated before I asked my next question. "Is there a reason you are stalling your return to them, Erik?"

Before replying, Erik linked his fingers together, put them under his head and stared up at the ceiling. "You were the first person to accept me as your friend unconditionally, Charles. And when I moved in here with you, it...it felt like home to me. The first home I have had since before the concentration camps..."

I didn't know what to say to that, but I reached over and gently placing my hand against Erik's cheek, I softly caressed it with my thumb.

"I feel like I have come home...and...I...I am having a hard time leaving it...you...again." He admitted softly. I could hear the emotion in his voice...and then I felt something warm and wet against my thumb. Only once before had I seen Erik display this kind of emotion. It was not something he willingly or very easily showed, even to me.

"Oh...Erik..." I whispered, gently wiping at the tear on his face. "My home will always be your home. Come here..." I encouraged him. He moved closer to me, placing his head on my chest. I draped my arms loosely around his neck and lightly kissed the top of his head. Neither of us speaking, we remained like this even as we fell asleep...

I was having a very disturbing dream sometime in the night. I dreamed that I was with Shaw's people...Emma...Azazel...Riptide...Angel...and even Raven was there. And I...I was one of them...in my mind I kept shouting out that I was in the wrong place...that we, Raven and I were in the wrong place, with the wrong people. But I kept following the others, doing what they were doing. I couldn't seem to stop myself. I was...killing...killing innocent people...somehow, with my mind I was killing them instead of calming them...then Erik was there but not with us. We...no...they..._THEY_, Shaw's people were after him but they were expecting **_ME_** to kill him. But I wouldn't...couldn't...yet somehow, I was being forced to by something...someone...then Erik was holding his head and screaming in agonzing pain...I knew it was me who was causing his pain...and I couldn't stop...the tears flowed down my cheeks..."I am so sorry my friend...it's not me...I can't control it...forgive me..." I whispered through my tears...hearing Erik piercing screams as he fell to the ground which eventually died down and then became quiet. The silence was almost as bad as his screams...I wanted to die along with him...

I woke up panting and sweating myself. I looked down relieved to see that Erik was still with me, sound asleep. It took me several minutes to calm myself down. The dream seemed too real...too vivid... Not wanting to, but knowing that I had to...I brought a hand to my temple...oh...god...

"Erik! Wake up! Erik!" I shook him.

"What? What is it?" He finally asked sleepily looking up at me. "Do you want to change positions?"

"Erik...what in _GOD'S_ name is Emma Frost doing here?!" I exclaimed, angry in my alarm.


	11. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**(Charles)**

"What in the _HELL_ are you talking about, Charles?!" Erik exclaimed now fully awake.

"Did you tell her where I live? Did you lead her here?!" I fired back with questions instead.

"No! No, Charles! I would _NEVER_ do that! Look into my mind if you have to! Go ahead!" He challenged me. That's when I knew he was telling me the truth,

"They're here. Emma...Azazel and Riptide. I can't actually read Emma. She must be in her diamond form but I am getting a clear read on the other two. They're not in the house but they are on their way. They're not far...they won't be long."

"Jesus..." Erik breathed. "I was so sure they...she especially would listen to me..."

I could tell right away how disappointed Erik was...but it was more directed towards himself than anything.

"You can't trust Shaw's people..." I reminded Erik firmly but gently.

"I know..."

"But we've no time to discuss this now. We must prepare for their inevitable 'arrival'".

Erik only nodded as he quickly got out of bed to dress himself. He tossed me my own clothing, then to speed up things up, he helped to dress the lower part of my body and then helped me into my wheelchair once he was dressed.

"They're getting closer...Azazel teleported them to where he had left you...from there Emma searched your mind to figure out the rest of the way here...they'll teleport inside the house once they are here." I informed Erik after searching Azazel's mind.

"You must wear my helmet, Charles." Erik stated firmly.

"What?!" I exclaimed in surprise.

"You wear my helmet so that Emma can't get a read on you."

"You're not confronting them alone, Erik!"

"Listen to me! When I broke Emma out of her prison, I came up with the idea to try and see if I could limit my thoughts so that she would not be able to read everything in my mind in the event that I am ever without my helmet for whatever reason. I`ve been practicing it daily and am now confident enough in myself that it works and that I can do it. We don't have time to get into it further right now but you're just going to have to trust me on this!" And with this, he placed his helmet on my bed, beside me.

This revelation made me wonder about a couple of things but as Erik pointed out, I didn't have time to ponder them at the moment. Outloud I said, "Make sure Raven can't get out of her room. She is NOT to be a part of this whatsoever!" I refused to take another chance with Raven and Shaw's people whether or not they viewed her as being "on their side". They could not be trusted and I knew that they wouldn't care if she got in their line of fire.

Erik gave me a quick nod of his head in acknowledgement but just before leaving, he took my hand, placed my fingers at my temple and said, "One more thing Charles..." Our eyes locked momentarily as I looked into his mind...my hand slowly fell away from my temple and I gave him one slow nod of my own head then he headed out to "lock" Raven in her room.

I had planned on grabbing Erik's helmet, leave the room and follow him when I both felt and heard Emma, Azazel, and Riptide make their "entrance" behind me. Realizing it was too late to grab the helmet, I left it where it was and quietly taking a deep breath, I communicated with my mind, "_Check. Queen to C-3. Queen to C-3. Queen to C-3...Check. Exercise caution." _

I now turned to face the three intruders to see that Emma who was no longer in her diamond form, looking at me with a puzzled look on her face. Smiling, I said, "It's a game Emma, it's called Chess. Erik and I had found that we share a mutual love for the game and we have one going on right now. He is in the library and I was just on my way to join him. It is my turn and Erik was starting to get impatient waiting for me to show up and take my turn so I was communicating what chess move I wanted him to make for me while he was waiting. I repeated it to make sure that he does make the right move for me...and so he can't cheat on me as I don't want him to win of course. I told him to 'exercise caution' because his next move could very well be his last." One thing I knew for a fact was that these three knew nothing about chess, something I knew we could count on.

"And you usually play at this time of night?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"Not usually no, but tonight is an exception." I stated calmly, deciding that in this case, the less said the better.

It worked, she was not interested in the details. Instead, she advanced towards me now putting a smile on her own face. As she approached, she reached with her mind into mine...I tried to do what Erik said he had been doing about limiting his thoughts so that Emma wouldn't be able to read my mind...or very much of it...But instead she _showed_ me something...

"Charles? Charles!" I now heard Erik's voice. Then, "What in the **_HELL_** are you **_DOING_** here, Emma?! Don't you recall what I **_TOLD_** you would happen to you if you interferred?!" He ran over to Emma as soon as he entered the room and roughly grabbed her breaking our telepathic communication.

Azazel went for Erik but Erik easily pushed him out of harms way with his power. "And what were you doing to Charles?!"

Azazel was going for Erik again when Emma put up a hand to stop him "It's alright...I'll take care of it." She addressed Azazel, then turned her attention to Erik. "You were taking too long Erik, I was missing you. Besides...why should you have all of the fun?" She was practically pouting which made me suspicious...and I realized it was time for me to act.

Turning towards him, "You...you slept with Emma, Erik?! You SLEPT with her?!" I exclaimed angrily.

"Charles...it's...it's not what you think!" Erik stammered slightly in surprise.

"How can it be otherwise, Erik?! Emma showed me what happened! That's what she was doing to me and what she showed me looked pretty self-explanatory!"

"Awww...a lover's quarrel...how delightful!" This time both Erik and myself looked at Emma in astonishment. "It's obvious, isn't it?" She gestured around my room in general. "A little love nest. I only just figured it out...even without reading anyone's mind."

Erik looked stricken. This had definitely blown his cover as to his real reason for coming to see me. Neither of us knew what to say.

"This just gives me all the more justification for what we are about to do." Emma told us. "But before we do...just so you know Erik...Magneto...you may have been better in bed than Sebastian, but I was IN love with him and you took him from me! Sooner or later I was going to get my revenge and it looks like that time has come..."

"Charles...please...please forgive me..." Erik suddenly turned to me, pleading. I realized he was talking about his night with Emma. But I also knew he was trying to stall for time and especially now that Emma had figured our secret out.

"I don't understand Erik...how could you?!"

Looking straight into my eyes he replied, "I was attracted to Emma. I couldn't help myself. She was there...you were here.."

"Oh enough you two! Too little, too late Erik. Let's get this over with."

With a very quick gesture to Azazel and Riptide, they both grabbed Erik who was caught off his guard and held onto him tightly. My blood turned to ice as Emma smiled and said her next words. "Excellent. He can watch while I kill his telepathic lover before killing him."

At these words, Erik and I looked at each other. I saw the horror in his eyes and knew that he was remembering Shaw killing his mother in front of him. I felt his fear...then his rage. Normally I would reach out and calm him whenever something like this happened but tonight I had the feeling that his rage would help give him the strength he would very soon need.

Emma approached me slowly...deliberately...she took on her diamond form again...I had no idea what to expect, what her plan was for killing me as I couldn't get a read on her as long as she was like that...I only knew that she could be deadly in that form and I would be no match for her as there was no way for me to defend myself against her. I had no doubt that it will be over in mere minutes...

Then I heard what sounded like a growl and it was coming from Erik. I looked over at him and could see that he was trying desperately to free himself but he was also no match for both Azazel and Riptide even in his rage. Then it occured to me how I could help him...I reached my mind out to both Azazel and Riptide..._"Ease your hold on him...loosen your grip...ease your hold on him...loosen your grip..."_ I repeated calmly over and over in my mind. It seemed to be working as Erik was definitely moving around more freely. I kept on repeating my calming words...then...Erik was free and in an instant both Azazel and Riptide had been flung backwards towards the wall, while he advanced on Emma.

"NO!" Emma screamed out in her own rage as Erik flung her hard against the stone wall that surrounded the fireplace and pinning her there with the metal fireplace utensils, advanced towards her. "I promised you that I would kill you if you interferred. The only difference is that you will know that you are about to die..." he spoke, his voice dangerously low. I know he would have killed her right then and there, but Azazel and Riptide were advancing upon him once again.

"ERIK!" I shouted out a warning while at the same time, three figures appeared at the entrance of my bedroom and once again Erik flung both bodies against the wall so hard this time that they were rendered unconscience.

"GET CHARLES!" I heard but was uncertain of it's source.

Then everything happened so fast that the next thing I knew, I was out in the hallway with Hank, Alex and Sean, my room was ablaze with flames and I knew in that instant that Erik was still inside. "Erik! ERIK!" I screamed out in panic, terror engulfing me, as I watched the flames continue to consume my room...along with Erik...no...that had to be wrong. He couldn't...Immediately, I searched for his mind with mine and...my hand fell away slowly from my temple as I came up blank...

No...NO! Oh god, no! This couldn't be happening! He couldn't be...he had to be alive! He had to! I had to try and find him! This was the only thought I had in mind...to go in after Erik...I HAD to try! I started wheeling myself towards the room..

_"CHARLES, NO!" _Hank quickly grabbed my chair and held onto it firmly, preventing it from going any further. Both Alex and Sean now ran over to help him.

"Let GO!" I shouted at them. "I can't read him! I have to go in there! Let me go and get Erik! He's in there! I have to find him! He'll die if if you don't let me!"

"No, Charles! You can't! If you can't reach him...it's...it's already too late then...and you'll die too! We don't want to lose you..." Hank finished off softly.

"No...NO! We can't let him die like that! Erik! _ERIK_!" I shouted again, stubbornly. I couldn't lose him again...especially now, after getting him back.

I didn't want to watch but I also couldn't seem to stop staring into the flames...maybe I had hoped to catch a glimpse of Erik...hoped for a sign of life from him...I didn't want to believe that he was gone...he couldn't be...but I couldn't see how...my heart was breaking...

"I am so sorry, Charles..." Hank said softly trying to console me, turning my chair away from the fire so that I would no longer be able to watch it. And with that, I didn't even try to hide my grief which was tearing me apart. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. No one said anything but I felt gentle hands on my shoulders and back.

"No...no..." I moaned, shaking my head slowly, shock slowly starting to numb my mind and body.

Then I heard a thump along with a familiar although rather muffled voice. "Whew...was it just me or was it starting to get a little warm in there?"

Dully, I automatically turned my head in the direction of the voice to see through vision blurred by tears, Erik's helmet on the floor and something else...a blanket...no...a rug? One that looked familiar to me...from my room? They had landed not too far from where the rest of us were. At first I was couldn't understand what I was seeing, but slowly it started to register as both objects rose up from the floor and finally took on a familar form. It was Erik...it WAS Erik! He was wrapped in the rug, an area rug from my room and wearing his helmet! THAT was why I hadn't been able to get a read on him!

"Erik...?" I called out cautiously at first. Then, "_ERIK_?! Oh thank god, Erik! You're still alive!" I cried out in disbelief.

"Of course I am. You can't get rid of me that easily!" He grinned which brought even more emotion out in me. Erik was still wrapped in the rug which was smouldering. He looked down at it and remarked, "Mmm...I hope no one minds if I smoke." Before tossing it aside. Trust Erik to joke around at a time like this.

Now he removed his helmet and as he did so, I quickly looked into his mind to first make sure that I wasn't hallucinating, that it was really him and also so I could understand what had happened... I saw him in my room...then I saw Alex and heard him yell out to Erik, "GET DOWN! GET DOWN!" But before he did he noticed the helmet was still on the bed, grabbed it, put it on, then quickly ducked down out of Alex's line of fire. Several seconds later, he glanced up to see that no one, including Alex was left in the room, so he made for the door way, but the room was already engulfed in flames...he looked quickly around where he was and managed see the rug nearby, grabbed it, wrapped it around his body in order to protect himself from the fire, then sprinting and leaping through flames, he landed rolling onto the floor outside of the room...

"Now might be a good time to get a fire extinguisher." He was saying to the other three as I came back to the present. To which the other three fled to retrieve some and were back within moments putting out the fire with Erik's help but not before the much of the room was destroyed...along with the remainder of Shaw's men. We all stood in silence for a few minutes, taking everything in.

"Sorry about your room, sir...I think I might have overdone it just a bit..." Alex finally said.

"It's quite alright Alex..." I found myself actually smiling. "A room and it's contents...well most of it's contents anyway, are replaceable...life...is not." I looked at Erik as I said that last part. "Well done lads, all of you."

_"HEY! IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE LISTENING TO ME?! WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE?! LET ME OUT! CHARLES! I KNOW YOU ARE BEHIND THIS! ERIK, I KNOW CHARLES PUT YOU UP TO THIS! NOW LET ME OUT OF HERE THIS MINUTE!" _We now heard Raven shouting angrily.

"RAVEN!" I exclaimed. I had completely forgotten about locking her in her room. Erik and I quickly went down the hallway where Erik immediately "undid" whatever it was he did that had prevented her leaving her room.

Raven stumbled out of her room and into Erik. "What in the _HELL_ was that about?! What was the idea behind locking me in my room for?" she ranted. Then stopped. "Do I smell smoke? Oh my god...was this place on fire?!" She looked down the hallway and noticed the other three still standing outside what was once my bedroom. Her eyes went wide as she exclaimed in shock, "Dear god Charles! What happened?!" And started running in that direction with Erik and myself keeping pace with her.

Stopping outside my room, she could only stare into the now unrecognizable room. As quickly as possible, I explained it all to her. She went from shock, to fear to anger. "So you had Erik lock me in my room Charles, when I could have helped?! You _NEVER_ let me help! You treat me like a child! Or is it because I am a female that you think I can't handle it?! You did the same thing when we were after Shaw! I wish you would _STOP_ that! I can handle myself but you _WON'T_ let me prove myself to you! And you!" She now rounded on Erik. "I'm surprised at you! _YOU_, I know would have let me help if it hadn't been for Charles! That is one of the reasons why I wanted to go with you!"

"Raven, that is _NOT _true!" I countered. "I _DO_ believe you can handle yourself, I really do. But you have to understand me...you _ARE_ my sister Raven. Even if we aren't blood relatives. We grew up together and I love you as dearly as if we were. I saw the carnage that Shaw had left behind that night at the compound and I had _NOT_ been there to protect you! You could have just as easily been killed by Shaw, something I was _NOT _willing to leave to chance again. I vowed that night that from now on I would _ALWAYS _protect you because I felt that as Shaw had spared you, I had been given a second chance with you...and that I would never, _EVER _leave you unprotected ever again...as for Erik, he only did what I had asked him to do. Don't blame him."

Raven calmed down after this and turning back to me, I saw the tears gather in her eyes. "And I want to be able to help and protect you too Charles...if anything had happened to you tonight...and I could have helped but wasn't allowed to...or able to..."

I was unable to reply at first as I was taken aback by Raven's words, but finally understood from her perspective. "Perhaps we...I need to do some serious re-thinking about things..." I admitted softly, realizing how she would have felt had something happened to me and I had prevented her from helping me.

Raven now turned to Alex. "And you did this?" To which Alex nodded, looking a bit sheepish. "Nice work, Havoc! You saved Charles. And Erik." She told him with a smile and a nod of approval of her own. Alex returned the smile. It meant something when Raven referred to Alex by the mutant nickname she had given him.

"Listen everyone...Erik and I need to have a talk and after that...I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to need some more sleep." I told everyone.

"But where will you sleep now, sir?" Sean asked.

"There are plenty of rooms in this place, I'll figure it out. And I'll get someone onto restoring my room as soon as possible."

"You must take my room of course, Charles." Erik offered.

"And where will YOU sleep then?" Raven asked him.

"Oh, I can sleep anywhere." Erik replied vaguely with a wave of his hand. "But Charles should have a proper bed."

Of course I knew the real reason for Erik offering me his room...and bed.

"By the way...what WAS that crazy talk involving a chess move that I heard you say with your mind, Charles?" Erik now asked me.

Smiling at him, I explained, "When the boys and I started their "training" again, they insisted we come up with some sort of code in case any of us are ever in trouble. It was actually Hank's idea to use the chess game as the code figuring that not everyone would be familiar with the game and that even if someone did, it would probably not be too easy to decipher at least not on the spot and would hopefully give us enough time to respond to the situation.

"Check" means that we are in trouble, can't defend ourselves and that we needed help. "Queen" being female meant Emma in this case of course, the C-3 means my room-we gave every room on this floor a number of a chess board square and memorized them. I repeated it three times to indicate that there were three of them here. And of course the "Exercise caution" is self-explanatory. I never thought we would end up putting it to use so soon. But it did seem to work."

"This was your idea?" Erik looked at Hank with admiration. "It's brilliant!"

Hank didn't say anything but I knew he was pleased with Erik's compliment.

"Well if there is nothing more for the time being...Erik?"

"We can talk while I help you get settled in my room." Erik suggested.

And with that, we said our "good nights" and split up, everyone going back to their rooms.

Erik shut the door to his room after we both had entered it and I turned my chair around to face him. "Erik...about your night with Emma..."

"Charles...I really am so sorry about that." He jumped in right away. "Honestly, I never meant for it to happen. I went from dreaming about you being in my bed to Emma really being there. And...I know this sounds crazy...like I'm just using it as an excuse to justify it happening, but my body just kind of took over. I don't know how much you know about my sexual history but it was almost like I had gone back in time to my old life...before I met you. I felt so ashamed afterwards for being so weak, giving into her like that so easily..."

I held up my hand as I replied. "First off, I have never "indulged" myself in looking into your sexual past as that is something I felt was not mine to know. And...yes...I know...I know how you were feeling because you showed me how you felt while it was happening and afterwards...you were thinking of me...and I know you felt terrible...and ashamed. What I wanted to say was thank you for "warning" me about what happened between you and Emma that night ahead of time and before she had the chance to tell me."

"Oh." He responded, frowning slightly. Then continuing, he said, "I should have told you about it sooner...rather than wait until I felt forced to tell you." He admitted. "In all honesty Charles, I would have preferred that it had never happened at all. I would rather forget that night ever happened."

"I know...I do understand." I assured him. "What I would really like now is to go to bed."

"Of course...you must be exhausted, Charles."

"Actually, I'm not as bad as I would have expected to be.." I admitted as we both got ourselves ready for bed, then Erik helped me into his bed and turned out his lights where he held me close to his body.

"Erik...I really thought I had lost you in that fire tonight..." I now said softly. I couldn't go on. I was still feeling very emotional about the close call.

"Hey...I meant it when I said you couldn't get rid of me that easily. I'm too stubborn to die." He replied as he kissed my forehead. "I grabbed the helmet and put it on as soon as I saw it was still sitting where it had been left. Then the moment I spotted the boys I had the fore-thought to find myself something like that rug to cover myself up with, figuring that Havoc's power would be the one 'weapon' they could and most likely would use."

"Thank god for your own quick thinking."

We lay together for awhile, not saying anything more. Then, Erik started to become affectionate with me...he started kissing me everywhere on my upper body and I started kissing him back wherever I could. As we couldn't be intimate like we had been able to be at one time, there were things we could still do of course. And after everything that had happened that night and most especially coming so close to losing Erik, I was more than ready for this...what I wasn't prepared for was when I heard Erik whisper in my ear,

"I want to make love to...no..." He paused. "I want to make love _WITH_ you Charles..."

I was stunned by his words. Not only stunned, but hurt as well. He damn well knows that is impossible for me! And after all we had been through together tonight! How could he be so cruel as to tease me like this?!

"That's _NOT_ funny, Erik!" I turned my face away from his in my anger.

"Hey..." He said, his tone gentle, but very serious. Placing his fingers under my chin and gently turning my head back so that I had to look at him, he continued. "I am _NOT _laughing...I would never joke about something like this.."

"But...it's not possible." I insisted. "I don't see how I can. I'm sure I can't..."

"No Charles...you don't _KNOW_ that you _CAN_..."

I continued to stare up at him. "But...how...?"

Gently, Erik took my hand in his, kissed my fingertips, before placing it at my temple. I looked into his mind...and saw...and...understood.

"I've been wanting to make love with you again for awhile now, but felt I shouldn't rush you. I thought I should give you some time." He paused here for a moment. "And only if you want to. I want you to know that I will never make you do anything you don't want to do. I promise."

It only took me a moment to reply because like the first time, the "professor"...the "scientist" came out in me and I found myself wanting to see if it could indeed be done. I very much _WANTED_ to be able to make love with Erik again...

"I do want to...try at least..." I whispered back.

"We can't expect it to be the same as it was..." He warned me.

"Of course not..." I agreed, understanding.

"And promise me you will let me know if anything feels uncomfortable for you..." Erik said. "I don't want to hurt you..."

"I will..." I promised.

Erik then motioned with his hands and "locked" the door. "I've already checked for a 'secret room' in here and was disappointed that I wasn't able to find one." He admitted to me. I couldn't help but chuckle at that...

As Erik had said, it wasn't like it used be, it couldn't possibly be of course but considering how I had been assuming that part of my life was over and done with, I was amazed to find out that I _COULD_ still make love...and just how wonderful and beautiful it still could be. But then Erik...he certainly knew what to do to please me and because of that, I had become lost in the moment as our two bodies joined together as they had done so many times in the past...

"It is still beautiful..." I assured him in a whisper afterwards, completely satisfied for the first time since we had made love last. Then I had a thought. "I hope you think so too...I mean...seeings how I am not able to...how I can't..."

"It is for me too Charles.." Erik interrupted, pausing only for a moment before going on, "If there is something I have learned from being with you is that it is most beautiful when you are with the right person...someone you care about."

"You are right about that, Erik. Thank you for tonight."

"You're thanking me for having sex with you?" He teased me.

"It was...amazing as it always is with you..." I told him. " But it's more than that for me Erik, I hope it is for you too."

Erik looked at me and I could feel the tenderness as he spoke his next words. "Of course it is. It always has been for me too, Charles." I knew he meant it.

"What I was thanking you for was for showing me that I am not as limited as I had been believing that I was."

"You aren't Charles...you really aren't..."

Erik had been holding me and before I contentedly fell asleep, I felt him lightly kiss my forehead and whisper so quietly I knew he never meant for me to hear, "I do love you Charles...I always have and I always will...no matter what..."


	12. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

**(Charles)**

I awoke several hours later alone in Erik's bed. At first I felt disoriented and recalling the night's events brought a slight panic to me in regards to Erik's absence. Had I been dreaming that Erik was alive? Had I been so despondent that I created all of what happened afterwards in my mind? Including our lovemaking? Quickly, I pushed those thoughts aside and searched for Erik's mind with mine and much to my relief, found it. Apparently he was outside wandering around on the grounds. I sat up and smiled when I noticed that Erik had left my clothes on the bed within easy reach for me. He had also made sure that my chair was just as easily accessible. I dressed myself as quickly as I was able to then left to join him.

On my way out, I paused outside of what was left of my room, very aware of the fact that it also contained the remains of three mutants. I didn't relish the thought that they had had to be killed but they hadn't left us with any choice. It was going to either be us or them. I also wondered what we should do with their bodies. I moved on, heading towards the doors and outside to find Erik, deep in thought about just that. Maybe he would have a suggestion about what we should do.

I found him by the stone wall where I had told him that true focus lies between rage and serenity, just finishing a cigarette.

I wheeled up beside him, "I thought you only smoked after sex?" I teased him lightly.

He gave me a half smile as he replied, "You might recall that I didn't have one last night. This one was the one I didn't have then." He stubbed it out, then placing his hands on the wall, leaned forward, his shoulders slumping in dejection. "I failed Charles..." he said quietly. "My first time as a leader of my own people and I failed..."

"No...Erik...you didn't fail...they failed you." I assured him firmly.

Erik quickly turned his head to look down at me, his forehead puckering slightly. Then moving his gaze back in front of him again, he said, "Don't try to make me feel better Charles, it is what it is." He paused here only for a second before continuing. "I really thought she would obey me...especially when her life was at stake. I guess she didn't believe that I would actually go through with killing her. What kind of a leader am I if I can't convince my own followers that I mean what I say?"

"And she ended up paying for it, didn't she? Just like you had told her she would. If that doesn't sent a message, I don't what will."

Again, Erik looked down at me, but still didn't look entirely convinced.

"Listen to me Erik...there is something you don't know. I read something in Emma's mind. She saw you kill Shaw through his mind much like I did, and had started plotting her revenge against you from that second on because she really was in love with Shaw that much."

I heard Erik's intake of breath. "If you don't believe me, you can check my mind. I will show you exactly what I saw in her mind." I told him.

But Erik shook his head, "No...I don't need to, of course I believe you."

"She spent that time in her prison plotting against you. And when you broke her out, you sped up the process. She used you to get close to you...including that night she went to you in your bed, in order to get you to trust her so that she would be able to catch you off your guard and would be no match when she took you out. It was when you came here with Raven that she started manipulating Azazel and Riptide to join her in taking you down." I paused here for a moment to let him digest this before carrying on. "I have no doubt Erik, that both Azazel and Riptide would have followed you, but Emma never would have. She was and remained devoted to Shaw and Shaw only. She was never on your side. And while you were here, she took advantage of your absence to poison those two against you."

I couldn't tell if my information helped Erik to feel any better about what had happened or not. His expression didn't really seem to change or not very much anyway.

"You didn't fail us Erik..." I continued softly, "Your... 'family'. You were there for us."

Erik looked down at me with those words our eyes locking for a several seconds before he looked away again.

"There's nothing for you to go back to...only Angel remains and we can invite her to come back to us. She can choose her own path, but you don't have to go back. You can stay here."

I could tell that Erik was struggling with conflicting emotions between wanting to stay and wanting to lead his own people. I didn't have to be able to read his mind to know how much he had loved the feeling of the power he had held over those people.

"You didn't belong with them, Erik..." I added softly.

Finally, Erik spoke. "Perhaps, I am not ready to leave here...quite yet after all..."

I smiled in my relief. Hopefully, he wouldn't ever want to leave, I thought to myself, but I was happy that he chose to stay...for now at least. We could work on it becoming a permanent situation in the time to come. "Welcome back, Erik." I paused for just a moment. "No...welcome home." I finished off firmly. Erik didn't say anything but he didn't need to as the expression on his face told me everything.

"I'm hungry...I'll assume you haven't had anything to eat yet either so let's go and get some food ready for the rest of the crew as I'm sure they will be getting up soon themselves and wanting to eat." I suggested.

Erik nodded in agreement and we headed companionably back to the house. On the way, I brought up my concern to him.

"Erik...we have three mutant bodies in my room and I am not sure what we should do with them. I refuse to 'bury them in the backyard' but I can hardly have someone come and take them away either because they will surely want to investigate their deaths which will lead to a standard procedure autopsy. They will for sure find out that they were not normal humans...that is not the way I want to 'introduce' the humans to the existance of mutants."

Erik didn't say anything at first either, but looked as thoughtful as I had been about it. As we entered the house, instead of heading to the ktichen, we went towards my room and stood outside of it pondering for a moment.

Suddenly Erik said, "You wait here Charles, I'll go in and see what is left of the three bodies. Maybe whatever kind of condition they are in will help us to determine what we can do about them." He offered. I was more than happy to let him do this morbid task. While I was waiting for him to return, Alex showed up.

"What's going on?" He asked just as I heard Erik call out my name.

"Charles! There's something a bit strange going on..." He now emerged from the charred room, with a puzzled look on his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"There's nothing in there...I mean...no bodies. I couldn't find a single body in there! Not even a single part of a body."

"What?!" I exclaimed. Had they actually been able to escape?

"Well of course there aren't any bodies." Alex said matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?" I questioned him, frowning.

"I used each of them for target practice. Just like I've been doing in our training, sir. They each recieved a good dose of my fire power. They would have been incinerated. And just to make sure about that, I blasted the room with flames before leaving it myself." Alex finished off rather proudly while I cringed slightly at the thought.

"He was brilliant, sir!" Sean had now joined us.

"It would explain why I couldn't find any bodies...or parts." Erik pointed out.

I didn't know which made me feel worse...their fiery deaths or the fact that both Alex and Sean were taking pleasure in how Alex had killed them. And I wasn't sure that I liked their enthusiasm about that.

Erik must have noticed my expression because he went on, "They wouldn't have suffered Charles. They were unconscience when it happened...they wouldn't have even known what hit them. And it was been better than them being conscience while being burned alive."

Just like Erik might have been had he not been able to get out of the room, I realized, shuddering slightly at the thought, once again thankful his life had been spared because of his own quick thinking. I nodded my head taking this all to heart. One thing at least, it not only answered our question, it also took care of the problem of what we were going to do with the bodies. I managed to smile at Alex and I addressed him by his mutant nickname. "Well done, Havoc." To which he returned with a pleased smile.

"Well...you promised something to eat Charles and I am starving." Erik now said. "I would say it's time to raid the kitchen."

The boys of course were with Erik about eating and as we all made our way in that direction, a discussion of what we should have started between the three of them. Raven and Hank soon joined the rest of us and eventually-and after much more 'discussion'-we were all finally seated at the table eating together.

A good thing had come out of all of this and I wanted to share it with those who didn't know yet.

"We do have a reason to celebrate today..." I began which caught everyone's attention. Smiling across the table at Erik, I told the rest, "With Shaw's men eliminated, Erik...and Raven I will have to assume of course, will be staying on here with us again..."

"Really?!" Raven's eyes went wide with pleasure.

"Really." I replied smiling back at her. "Erik and I were talking a little while ago and he has decided to stay."

Hank also looked pleased by the news...of Raven staying mostly of course although I think that he had come to accept Erik, even if still rather cautiously. Alex and Sean seemed to be alright with Erik staying with us again as well, but then he had proven himself to them as to whose side he was on. As for me, I was beyond ecstatic, having my "family" back with me...

"There is one thing...Angel is all of that remains of Shaw's people, so Erik and myself will fly over to Russia as soon as possible and invite her to rejoin us."

"Do you think that wise, sir? She did willingly leave us..." Alex said.

"As did Erik and Raven and they have rejoined us." I pointed out. "Angel is young and impressionable. She wanted to be on a 'winning' side. She thought that side was Shaw's side. But we're the ones who are still here. In the end, it will be Angel's choice, but I do want to let her know that she does have a choice. She _CAN_ come back to us if she wishes to. On her own, she won't be a threat to us."

"If you think it's best sir.." Sean said.

"I do." I stated firmly. "And while we are away, I expect you four to behave yourselves here. We will not be gone long. A couple or so days maximum as we only need to go to her, give her our offer and return with or without her. Do I have a solemn promise from each of you that you will _NOT_ wreck my house while we are away?"

There was a murmured chorus of "Yes sir's" and "Yes Charles's"

"Okay then...I'm holding each and every one of you to it. You will all be responsible for anything that happens here." I told them in no uncertain terms.

It was a little bit later on that night when Erik and myself were going around turn off the lights for the night when just before turning off the lights in the library, something "caught" my eye and I looked up...it was a prism from one of the chandelier crystals...and a very recent memory had awoken something in my mind...it took me a several minutes to understand what my brain was trying to tell me about it and when it did...it's implications startled me into reality which made me gasp. Erik sense immediately that something wasn't right.

"What is it Charles?" He asked frowning, concerned.

Instead of answering him, I said, "We need to have a meeting. _NOW_. You'll know soon enough." With that, I quickly searched everyone else out and told them with my mind to gather in my study for an emergency meeting at once.

"What's this all about Charles, that you had to get us out of bed for?" Raven asked once everyone had made their way there.

"Something has come to my attention tonight...but before I get into the details of it, " Here I looked at both Erik and Alex before continuing, "Erik...Alex...I need you both to think hard about what I am about to ask you..." Once I knew I had their full attention, I carried on, "When Emma came for me, she took on her diamond form...Erik...when you had Emma pinned to the fireplace wall do you remember if she was in her diamond form? Think hard before you answer..."

Erik's forehead puckered into a frown as he thought back to the events of the night before. I could tell that he was trying very hard to remember, but he would also give his head a shake every so often, then finally, "In all honesty Charles, I can't remember. I was in a blind rage by then and my mind wasn't focusing on details like that. I'm sorry. I really can't recall for sure one way or the other."

"Alex? How about you? Do you recall when you blasted her with your fire if she was in her diamond form? Again, please think hard before you answer..."

Like Erik, Alex frowned deep in thought about my question but had just as hard a time giving me a definitive answer. "I'm sorry sir. Possibly...but I can't guarantee that she was 100% either as she was my last target and the room was already burning around me. I had very little time to hit her, send more flames around the room and leave. I also wasn't paying much attention."

I was disappointed of course but considering both of their circumstances I could hardly hold them responsible.

"What is this about anyway, Charles? Why is it so important if Emma was in her diamond form or not?" Erik asked me.

"Because...and Hank can verify this, but diamonds...that is, real diamonds are one of the hardest minerals on this earth. They can be destroyed, but only at an extremely high temperature. And I am now wondering if it was at all possible that Emma could have escaped her firey death _IF_ she had still been in her diamond form..." There was a general chorus of gasps at my revelation. "Of course I don't know Emma's genetic mutation make-up, so I don't know if her diamond form is equal to real diamonds or if it would be possibly stronger or even weaker than real diamonds. And I don't know if the amount of fire that Havoc had shot her with would have been hot enough to destroy her diamond form or not. Her diamonds may very well have protected her...and if it did...and she is out there..." My voice trailed off.

"She's going to be even more pissed than she was." Erik finished off for me.

"That is one way of putting it yes, thank you Erik." I agreed looking up at him. "And no doubt looking to finish the job she had come here for to begin with."

My news sobered everyone up fairly quickly.

"So what do we do now then, Charles?" Raven asked.

"The only thing we can do for the time being...we must believe that she is alive. It is better for us to be aware and on alert than just assume she has died along with the other two. We must also continue training of course. AND...it would be a very good idea for both you and Erik to learn our new 'S.O.S. Code'. And as this is the case now, there is no way that Erik and I can leave you here unprotected while we go to Russia to get Angel. I refuse to take that chance after what happened at the compound with Shaw."

"If she escaped...she COULD still be in this house as we speak, then!" Sean exclaimed.

"Possible, but not likely." I replied. "I'm sure that she would not want to try and take all of us on without help. She most likely would have left as soon as she was able to, she wouldn't have stuck around." Even as I said this, I felt a bit of a chill in my blood thinking that _IF_ she had escaped the fire and had still been here, how she could have killed the others...Erik had "locked" the door to his room, but the others had been vulnerable to her. I felt sick with this thought. That was too close for comfort.

"Charles...do you think it possible that had she survived that she will or maybe even already has headed back to Russia for Angel herself?" Erik now asked me.

Another idea, and something I hadn't thought about myself. "Certainly that is possible as she would want to start gathering reinforcements and it does make some sense to start with Angel, a fellow mutant and someone she knows."

"Then maybe we have no choice but to head to Russia ourselves as soon as possible after all and hopefully get there before she does."

I contemplated this for a few moments. Erik did have a point. "But I will _NOT_ leave these four here on their own, if Emma should still be around here. I refuse to take that chance."

"Then we take them with us." He replied simply.

Before I could say it, Hank loudly cleared his voice. "Oh. Right." Was Erik's response, looking in his direction. We couldn't take Hank, with his beastly mutation. And it would be nearly impossible to disguise him.

"I could stay with Moira again." Hank offered slowly. "You did say it would only be for a few days.."

This was a possibilty. I was glad that I had only erased the location of my place from Moira's memory at this point, so she would still know who we are. And of course I could make her do what I wanted her to do if it came down to that. I didn't like "having" to make her but she had taken the other three on all of her own free will, so there was a good chance she would be willing to again. But I would do what I had to.

"If Beast stays, so will I." Raven now chimed in.

I regarded her thoughtfully. It would be better, easier for us, the less people that went. I wondered if Moira would be up to having four mutants at her place? She did manage the three boys while I was in the hospital and that was for a longer period of time.

"Okay, listen. This might not be a bad idea of having you staying with Moira while we are away. It would be better if all four of you were to stay in fact.." This was recieved with groans by Alex and Sean.

"This is not a pleasure trip, boys." I addressed both of them. "It would go a lot faster for us with only Erik and myself, so please don't fight me this. And you are to behave yourselves at her place. You are all to help Moira out as much as possible and Raven, you and Hank make sure that those two espcially..." I pointed to Sean and Alex, "...don't make anymore work for her than need be."

"What?! We did not cause any trouble the last time, sir!" Alex protested.

"Then I can trust you to not make any trouble for her this time too. I'm glad to hear that." I replied firmly.

"Don't worry Charles, we'll make sure." Raven promised.

Everything was finally agreed upon and arrangements were made as quickly as possible. I got a hold of Moira who although taken a bit by surprise by my request, did agree to it. I think she was pleased that another female would be there this time at least. My place was locked up, the four younger mutants were taken to Moira's and Erik and I were on our way to Russia...

**(Erik)**

Charles's revelation about the possibility of Emma still being alive shocked me. It wasn't until after our plans had been made and Charles left to make arrangements that I went to my room, found my helmet and put it on. I didn't want to take the chance on Charles reading my mind as I thought things through. If Emma was still indeed alive and was coming back to "finish the job" as Charles had put it, then this is **_MY_** fight as it is **_ME_** she wants...**_ME_** she is after. This is **_MY_** fight and **_MY_** fight alone. I will **_NOT_** have Charles involved...


	13. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

_**BERLIN**_

**(Charles)**

As we had a fairly long flight to Russia, Erik chose to try and sleep at some point. I closed my own eyes, but was unable to sleep. My mind drifted back over the events of the night of our intruders and remembered how Erik had told me about how he had learned to limit his thoughts for times when he might not have his helmet and it made me wonder if _THIS _was why I hadn't been able to reach that part of his mind about why he hates the humans so much...could he have been limiting his thoughts then? Perhaps I should try and read him when he is unaware of me doing it...I hated to do it that way, but I felt he was leaving me no choice. He had given me permission to look before, but if he had been using this trick on me at the time, it hadn't really been fair and I felt it within my rights to try again with him not knowing...

I took advantage when he woke up a little while later and tried again, but...still to no avail. I was back to being as baffled as I had been when I first tried that night. I still wasn't able to read anything except the feeling that there was something there...very odd indeed...

We started running into a bit of rough weather when there was an announcement made that we had to make an unscheduled weather related landing in Berlin, Germany.

"This is a delay we didn't need." I murmured to Erik in disappointment. He only nodded in acknowledgement.

For awhile we waited out the weather in the plane on the tarmac but eventually, we were told that the weather wasn't clearing and didn't look like it would anytime soon, so we deplaned and were sent to wait it out in the airport.

Once inside the terminal, I suggested to Erik that we take advantage and find a place in which to get something to eat and drink which he agreed to, but once we had our food and were seated, I noticed that Erik wasn't touching his food. Looking at him, I was about to make a comment about this when I noticed he was looking a little pale.

Frowning slightly, I asked, "Are you feeling okay, Erik?"

"I'm fine.." He replied crisply, drawing a hand across his forehead.

"You're shaking." I pointed out noticing a slight trembling of his hand. "Are you sure you're okay?" I persisted starting to feel a bit concerned.

"I told you, I'm fine."

"I don't think you are..." I countered.

"Please...Charles. It's okay. I'm...I'm just tired. Just want to get to Moscow...get this over with...get back...home. Can we go back to the boarding area? I'm sure we will be able to leave soon and I don't want us to miss the flight."

Naturally, I was jubilant when I heard Erik use the term "home" for my place, but I was also concerned about him. Watching him while he spoke, I was not convinced that he was 'okay', but agreed to return to the boarding area. I took what was left of my own food and encouraged Erik to at least take his drink along with him, and then we made our way back. But even there, Erik started to get restless not long after. At first he was fidgeting in his seat, then he got up and started pacing around, unable to settle down.

"What is taking so goddamned long?!" He swore in his growing frustration.

"Patience Erik...calm yourself. The weather can't be helped." I tried to soothe him. When he still seemed unconsolable, I reached my mind to his in order to help placate him. This worked of course..Erik did seem more tranquil, he even sat down again. But then inexplicably, only a very short time later, he was back to acting agitated which again, puzzled me. I couldn't understand why I wasn't able to keep him calm.

"This is taking too long, Charles!" he exclaimed irritably.

"There is nothing we can do about it." Was my logical answer.

Erik looked at me for a few brief seconds after I said this, then replied. "Oh yes, there is. If we can't go by air, we go by ground."

"What?!" I exclaimed in surprise while at the same time, using his power to move my chair, he started moving me away from the boarding area.

"Erik, stop! Think! By going by ground, we are still a fair distance away from Moscow! It will still take us longer to get there by ground than by air. I'm sure the weather won't be that long in clearing!" I tried to reason with him.

"You _DON'T_ understand, Charles!" His reply bordering on hysterical. "I _HAVE_ to get out of here! I _NEED_ to get out of here! _NOW_!"

For the first time, I saw real fear in Erik's eyes which astonished me. Erik wasn't afraid of _ANYTHING_! Or...at least he had never shown that he was..

"What is it that you are afraid of, Erik?" I asked him softly.

But instead of answering me, Erik stopped walking...stopped moving my chair. Then I heard what sounded like he was gasping for air...like he was having difficulty breathing. Alarmed, I quickly looked up at him and could now see that beads of persperation had developed on his forehead and upper lip. His skin had taken on more of an ashen colour and I saw that he was still shakey when he drew a hand over his eyes. I had never seen Erik like this before. He was very ill and I needed to find help for him.

_"Erik...you are sick...you need to calm yourself down. I will get you help...please calm yourself..." _ I tried to soothe with my mind.

"Stop doing that to me Charles!" Erik gasped out angrily, instead of becoming calm. It was like he was somehow able to purposely reject my attempt. "I don't need help! What I need is to get out of here! I need you to get me out of here!"

Then...like it was happening in slow motion, I watched Erik as he first swayed slightly before crumpling to the ground.

"ERIK!" I cried out in horror. I couldn't understand what was happening to him. He had been fine when we left and for most of the trip. I realize that it is not unusual for a sickness to come on suddenly, but there is something different about this one and I couldn't understand what it was. One thing was definite, Erik was not well enough to continue travelling. We had to stay for at least the night. I hoped that a good night's rest was all he would need.

As it turned out, my shout brought us to people's attention and very soon a small crowd surrounded us.

In German, I said, "My friend has taken ill and I need help.." I pleaded, using the strength of my mind to reach out to the people. Immediately, a couple of people got down and started working on Erik, trying to revive him. It took several minutes, but finally Erik started coming around.

"What happened?" he asked hoarsely once he was sitting up and more alert.

"You passed out." I explained to him. "These good people helped you."

In my relief, I also believed that he might be alright now, but then I saw the fear creep back into his eyes as he looked around, taking in his surroundings and realizing where he was. I knew I had to act before he started getting agitated again.

"Don't worry Erik...these kind people are going to take us out of here." I told him calmly. Thankfully, my words worked as I saw the fear in his eyes subside.

"Do you think he should be taken to a hosptial?" A voice from the crowd asked in German.

In all honesty, I would have done just that, but I was reluctant to take him to a hospital or doctor in a foreign country where an examination of him might reveal his mutation. I would only take that chance if this becomes an issue of Erik's life or death...I prayed to God it wouldn't come to that.

"No..." I replied firmly, reaching out to everyone there. "He only needs rest and then he should be fine. It would be greatly appreciated if someone would take us to a nearby Inn or lodgings of some kind where we can spend the night. That is all we require."

"You must come with us." An elderly lady made her way to the front and now spoke up. "We live not too far away and have plenty of room. Perhaps what your friend needs a good, hot, home cooked meal."

I looked gratefully at this lady, quickly searching her mind. Apparently, she and her husband were fairly wealthy and lived in a big house in the country nearby. They had only just returned from a trip themselves. "You're generosity is most kind and greatly appreciated. If it would not be an inconvience we would be most delighted to accept your offer." I told her with a smile.

With this arrangement confirmed, Erik was helped to his feet. As he was still a bit unsteady, he was helped by another and after making a stop at a customer service desk to explain our situation, we were lead through and eventually out of the airport to an awaiting taxi.

The weather was indeed miserable. It was cold, damp, sleety and very windy. I was glad that we hadn't had to go far to our taxi. It had been mid afternoon when we landed and it was now early evening, although with the low clouds it was already darker than what it normally would have been at this time.

The elderly couple were very friendly and chatted with us...or me anyway as Erik didn't offer anything to the conversation, which started me worrying about him again. I didn't like that he was so quiet, but I had to keep in mind what he had already gone through. I learned through our conversation that the names of our hosts were Greta and Wilhelm although admittedly, I didn't really catch their last name. Erik let out a soft moan at their introductions and I quickly glanced at him to make sure he was okay and wasn't about to be sick. Discreetly, I found his hand-which was cold and clammy, I noticed-with mine and keeping them hidden from sight, held onto it firmly in hopes that it would bring him some sort of comfort.

I offered our names to our hosts as well, first names only. I also told them that we were English and as they knew some English, we conversed between English and German. About 15 minutes after we had left the airport behind us, we turned up a long, winding driveway. Even though it was dark out now, I could tell that the grounds were very well maintained. I could now also now make out a traditional two-storey country style house which was lit up both outside and inside with someone at the door awaiting for our arrvial. This person turned out to be a man in his 40's and was obviously an employee of the couple. As soon as the taxi stopped, this man came up to the taxi, ready to give us his assistance.

Our hosts quickly explained the situation about us to him, quickly introduced the three of us and even though it was a ground level entrance, both he-the butler as it turned out was his position-and the taxi driver helped myself and Erik into the house where I could already smell a delicious scent of that promised hot, home-cooked meal. Even though I had had something to eat at the airport, I hadn't realized until now just how hungry for a good meal I was. I hoped that this would coax Erik's appetite as I'm sure it would help him to eat something.

Because I was in a wheelchair, we were given two rooms on the main floor. I had insisted that if possible, we both be on the same level and our rooms be close to each other as I explained, I wanted to be near Erik in case he needed me sometime during the night.

After they had shown us our rooms, we were lead back to a dining area for the meal where after being served, I took no time in starting in on the delicious food. I kept my eye on Erik who did at least make an effort to eat some, but after awhile, stopped altogether.

"I apologize, but I have no appetite. If it is alright with everyone, I think I would just like to go to bed and rest." He addressed us all. Then standing up, "I bid you all a good night." And with that, he left.

My own appetite seemed to leave with Erik but I resisted the urge to follow him. I kept up the pretense of enjoying the food and company, which I would have done had my mind not been on Erik. Finally when I could no longer stand it, I too asked to be excused.

"Please excuse me for just a few moments as I wish to make sure that my friend is comfortable." I said politely. "I will return."

Outside of Erik's room, I didn't even bother to knock, I just went in to find that he was just getting into bed. He looked at me but didn't say anything at first. I wheeled my chair over to his side of the bed.

"I thought you said these people were going to get us out of here, Charles." He said in an angry voice. His words and tone took me by surprise.

"They did Erik..they got us out of the airport." I replied frowning, confused. "That's what I thought you wanted."

"I didn't mean the airport.." Was all he said.

"Erik...all flights were grounded due to the weather. We have no vehicle in which we could have driven ourselves. I can't drive for obvious reasons and you aren't in any condition to drive. Especially in this kind of weather." I tried to explain reasonably, finally understanding what he had meant earlier. One thing that occured to me was that Erik seemed quite lucid again. I hoped and prayed that this was a sign of him recovering. But he didn't reply to this. So I went on. "You rest, Erik. I'll come to bed in a little while." Then I left as there wasn't anything more I could do for him, but also feeling a bit better that he seemed to be coming around. Surely resting will help him, I thought as I left the room.

I rejoined my hosts who invited me into a comfortable lounge for a dessert and coffee or tea while we continued our visit. Finally, I had to say my own goodnight as I was quite tired now myself from all that had happened in such a short amount of time. I made a show of getting ready for bed in my own room and then when I knew it was clear, I made my way to Erik's room, quietly let myself in and then after getting out of my clothes, I got into bed where I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow...

I don't know how long I was asleep for when Erik started moaning and moving restlessly around in his sleep, waking me up.

"Erik?" I whispered to him, but there was no answer. "Erik!" I called a little bit louder but still nothing. I cupped his face with my hands to find it was damp with sweat as if he were burning up with fever. As quick as I was able to, I pulled myself up into a sitting position and leaned over to turn on a light on my side of the bed, then looking down at Erik, I tried again. "Erik! Wake up! Wake up!" The time he seemed to hear me for he turned his head towards me and opened his eyes. "What is wrong Erik! Please talk to me! Tell me what is wrong so I can help you!" I cried out in desperation.

"Shhhh! Not so loud! They'll hear you!" Erik whispered, his eyes now taking on that same look I had seen before...earlier...fear. But there was something else about his eyes...they weren't really focused on me. Almost like they were looking through me. Then it came to me...Erik was delirious. That was the only explanation I could think of for his behaviour.

"Who will hear, Erik...who? Tell me!" I lowered my voice, deciding it was best to play along with him.

Erik shook his head slowly. "I can't...I can't tell you..."

"Why not?"

"They'll come after me. Again.."

"Who? Who will come after you again?"

"No! No! They'll come after you too!"

"Please tell me who, Erik! If you tell me who, I'm sure we can get help!"

"No..." he moaned, shaking his head from side to side.

I cupped his face firmly in my hands and forcing him to look at me, I repeated myself. "Please, tell me WHO, Erik. Wilhelm and Greta?" Somehow I couldn't picture this lovely older couple who had helped us out so much today as people to fear, I certainly hadn't gotten that kind of a reading off of them.

Suddenly, Erik's eyes no longer looked fearful. In fact they looked quite clear as he looked straight at me and answered. His reply was very brief, only consisting of two words, but what they were and how he said it, both shocked me and sent chills down my spine.

"The humans." He said in a voice full of hatred.


	14. Chapter 13

_**This chapter comes with a bit of a "sensitive subject" warning even though I only vaguely touch upon it, I still felt I should put the warning in.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 13**

**(Charles)**

The humans! I gasped. Was it possible that I could get Erik to tell me what I had been wondering about now? I knew I had to tread carefully so that he wouldn't close me off again.

"What humans, Erik? Do you know who they are? Can you tell me who they are?"

"No...no! They'll come after you! Both of us! We have to leave! We have to get out!" The fear was back in his eyes. Now he got up, out of bed and started getting dressed. "Where are your clothes?"

Feeling that it was imperative that I not break this "spell" he seemed to be under if I wanted to learn the answer to my question, I went along with Erik and told him where I had left my clothes. He found them, tossed them to me, then after he had finished dressing himself, he quickly helped dress the lower half of my body, then placed me into my chair.

"Where do you think we should go, Erik?" I asked.

"I don't know..." he admitted. "As far away from here as possible."

I had been thinking from the moment Erik had said "the humans"...quickly going over what had happened since we had been at the airport and an idea was beginning to form in my mind. I was beginning to believe that Erik's mind was going between two realities...his past and his present. In light of this thought, I asked my next question carefully, "Where is 'here', Erik? Where are we?"

This stopped him cold but he didn't answer me right away. Instead, he became agitated again, before replying abruptly. "Don't you _KNOW_ where we are?"

I shook my head slowly, "No...can you tell me where we are?"

But instead of answering me, Erik only repeated his earlier demands. "We have to leave. We have to get out of here."

I realized that it was useless to pursue this any further at the moment, but had the feeling that if I continued to play along that I might be able to find out what was going on...if I was indeed right about him "being in" both the past and the present. "Okay." I agreed, wondering what was about to happen. What did Erik have in mind about leaving? Was he actually planning on leaving this house? The grounds? I didn't see how that was possible with no vehicle at our disposal. Unless Erik was planning on stealing a car from these people? If that were the case, hopefully I would be able to persuade him with my mind not to...or at least delay him, as I recalled how he had been able to somehow stop me from calming him down at the airport.

He turned off the bedroom light, quietly opened the door and peeked out into the hallway before giving me a sign that it was clear to follow him. Slowly and quietly, we moved down the hallway and eventually to the front door. I drew in a quiet breath. He w_as_ planning on going outside! I was grateful for our jackets because of the weather, but hopefully the plan wasn't to walk...we couldn't go very far on foot and survive in such weather, even with our jackets as they weren't designed for it. And especially as I had no idea how close we were to any other place and neither of us were familiar with the area. We could very easily get lost and become disoriented. It would be the end of us if that happened and we didn't find a way to keep ourselves warm...and nourished. I would have to try and control Erik with my mind to keep us from going too far away.

I followed him outside into the cold, wet, windy night. I was grateful that there was a yard light so it wasn't too bad for seeing, but if we left the grounds, it would be too dark especially on a overcast, moonless night.

We didn't speak at first, but Erik used his power to move my chair to help me keep pace with him as he was moving at a fairly swift pace now himself. We followed the winding road that lead away from the house and out to the main road.. I knew that I had to somehow stop Erik and very soon. I was already cold and the wet sleet was starting to soak through my jacket. In no time I would be chilled to the bone. We couldn't keep going like this.

"Erik...stop." I finally said forcefully, using my mind to try and make him obey me. It did work but I knew that I might only have a few minutes in which to work with. _"Think...Erik...We are already cold and wet. We don't know where we are going and we are not familiar with this area. We will die if we are unable to find food or shelter or if we become lost..." _

He hesitated at my words at first then, "I don't care! I'm willing to take the chance! I'm _NOT_ going back there!" He started walking and moving me again.

"Where _IS_ 'there', Erik? Where don't you want to go back to?"

But once again my question was ignored.

"No, Erik...this is far enough." I spoke up using 'force' again, this time desperately. And desperate times were calling for desperate measures I decided. Now was the time...I _HAD_ to get him to stop. I would have to try and concentrate hard in hopes that I would be able to break through to him and prevent him from rejecting my power. Taking a deep breath and gathering all of the strength of mind that I was possibly able to, I told him, _"I know the humans did something to you Erik...what did they do? Please tell me Erik...please talk to me..." _

Erik stopped suddenly and looking down at me, slowly shook his head. "No...no...please... don't...Charles..." He begged. I could hear the emotion in his voice as he spoke these words. "Please...I don't want to...please...just leave it be...let it go away..."

But I refused to waver on this. I was getting close, I was sure..._"It's time you faced it, Erik...you've hidden yourself from it for long enough...it can never go away no matter how hard you try to make it. It will always be there. But you can make things better if you tell me. I can help you, Erik..." _I continued my hard concentration. _"Please...let me help you...what did the humans do to you?"_

"Stop doing that to me Charles! Please! STOP! Get out of my head!" Erik pleaded as his hands went to his head. I knew he was trying to fight off my demands. He was fighting hard, but I could push harder if I had to. I didn't want to, but I felt he was leaving me with no other choice. This needed to come out. NOW. I pushed a little harder...

_"WHAT DID THE HUMANS DO TO YOU? TELL ME!"_

"Damn you, Charles! You should have just left it! You want to know _WHY_ I hate your beloved humans so much?! Do you?! You've been wanting to know so badly, then look into my mind and let me _SHOW_ you!" He finally broke, extremely angry now.

I could hardly believe that I had finally gotten through to Erik on this matter! I reached my mind out into his before he changed his mind on me, but before I even knew what was happening, Erik began hurtling images, which exploded with such a furious intensity, such ferocity into my mind. It was too strong, too powerful for my mind to be able to cope with it all at once.

"Watch as your _beloved, perfect humans VIOLATE and DEFILE an innocent young boy!"_ Erik shrieked at me, not letting go of my mind.

It hit me like bolts of lightning, blinding me painfully in my head and behind my eyes. It was even more painful than when I had felt Erik's coin pass through Shaw's brain. There was no way to escape it. I brought my hands to my head as I screamed out in pain.

"Erik! Please! Stop!" I begged him.

"Why should I, Charles?! I have had to live with it for 18 goddamned long years!"

"You're hurting me!" I gasped out

"And it didn't hurt me?!"

"You need to _STOP _being so _INTENSE_ with your mind! My mind _CANNOT_ handle that!" I tried to explain to him, breathing hard. "Please! You have to understand, Erik!"

But Erik didn't stop...wouldn't listen to me.

"Erik...please...please..." I implored him, starting to gasp for air, tears starting to come to my eyes. I began to realize that if he didn't losen his hold on my mind that I was going to lose consciousness...or quite possibly worse. I was already having to fight to breathe...

"I...can't...breathe...you...have to...let...go..." I managed to gasp out. And then darkness enveloped me...

When I came to, I was on the ground. I recalled a vague sensation of falling forward.

"Charles! Oh Christ, Charles!" Erik was his knees beside me, gently slapping my face and calling my name to bring me around.

I had no idea how long I had been out for. I still felt weakened by the intense hold Erik's mind had had on mine, but at last my mind was clearing...

I gulped for air, feeling like my lungs couldn't get enough. I now noticed Erik looking down at me in horror, his hands covering his mouth, tears streaming down his own wet face.

"Erik..." I whispered as I tried to lift my hand to his face but I didn't have the strength.

"Oh...god Charles..." he whispered as he backed away from me, shaking his head, "I am...so sorry...so sorry. I am ALWAYS hurting the ones I love! First my mother...and then you...I put you in that chair! It was my fault that Emma showed up at your place intending to kill you! And now this!" His tears were still fallling.

"No...Erik...don't...help me. Help me to sit up."

But Erik didn't move from where he was.

"Please...Erik..." I pleaded with him. I would have used my mind, but I was still too weak to be able to use it. Then finally he did move towards me, albeit rather timidly.

"Please..." I pleaded, encouraging him to come to me.

At last Erik gathered me very gently in his arms and I gave him a weak, but sad smile as I tried once again to lift one of my hands and this time succeeded. Cupping one side of his face gently, I said, "I am so sorry...so sorry for what happened to you...for what the humans did to you..."

It had happened at the concentration camp...after they had discovered he harboured some kind of powers...powers that they didn't...couldn't understand. And before Shaw took him away from there. He had first endured all kinds of invasive experiments done by the humans to try and find out about his powers. Then...after that...I closed my eyes and swallowed as I recalled the awful images of Erik as an already frightened young boy being first roughly stripped of all of his clothing and then both his arms and legs had been strapped down onto a bed of some sort... and because of this, he had been unable to use is mutant powers to defend himself against those few horrible monsters I now loathe to call human who took their turns with him...taking advantage of his vulnerabilty...it had sickened me to see...those images were forever burned into my brain...not only of what Erik had endured as a young boy at their hands, but also what had been happening to him while it was going on...his mind had started shutting down in order to block out the ordeal, in order to help his mind cope with it. And now...I now finally had that last puzzle piece that was Erik...I now finally understood Erik more now that I ever had before...I understood him completely. He hadn't deserved to be treated that way. I felt fresh tears sting my eyes. I had never seen Erik so vulnerable before...nor do I think I could possibly be more in love with him than I am now.

"_THAT _is _HOW_ your beloved, perfect humans treat those of us who are different Charles, especially the mutants! They did that to me _BECAUSE_ I was a mutant and _BECAUSE _I was _DIFFERENT_ from them!"

I had no excuse for them this time. I gave them none, they deserved none.

"They murdered that young boy that night, Charles..." Erik said, his voice now hoarse. "He died the most horrible kind of death that any one ever could. It would have been kinder if they shot him between the eyes. He died but left _ME_ to live out the rest of my life coping with his horror...no matter deeply I buried it, it would still come back to haunt me."

This explained so much to me about Erik...he had been able to bury it so deeply, he had actually repressed the memory which was why I had a hard time retrieving it. Perhaps I may have been able to eventually, if I'd had some idea of just how deep to go, but I had never encountered such a challenge before in my life.

My mind went back...when he had told me that he had "been with a human male"...that he had "been young and naive" when it had happened...his intense hatred of the humans...I understood all of this now.

I reached my mind into his and saw that once we had landed in Berlin, and most especially being in the airport and being surrounded by the German language, both being spoken and in writing, it had brought back that terrifying and traumatic time in his life to the point that he had had an anxiety attack. When I thought he was sick, what he had really been experiencing was anxiety. He had also started believing that he had gone back to that time in his life. He had fought against it-during those times of lucidity-but the other times he actually thought he was that young boy again and this time was trying to escape...trying to avoid being caught and having to go through the whole thing again...

I brought myself back to the present and noticed that Erik was shivering violently. "We need to go back inside Erik. Before we both get very sick. Something we don't need right now."

Erik recoiled slightly at the thought of going back inside, but I quickly calmed him with my mind, "_It's alright now Erik...no one is going to hurt you. You know that now. I know you do...no one is going to hurt you anymore." _I felt his body and mind relax. "Help me into my chair please, Erik."

No sooner was I back in my chair and we had started to head towards the house when the beams of a torch or two could be seen and voices could be heard. Within moments, our host Wilhelm and his butler were confronting us.

"What in the devil are you two DOING out here?!" He exclaimed in German. "At this time of night! And is this weather!"

Erik and I looked at each other, but it was Erik who replied and in German...which made me realize another thing. He hadn't spoken in German the entire time, even though he was more fluent in it than myself. But I now knew why. "I started to get hungry and was looking to find the kitchen, but I became disoriented and ended up outside. I guess I was still half asleep. Charles came after me."

"Yes..." I added my own bit also in German. "I had heard noises in the hallway and I was concerned about Erik so I went to see what was happening and realized he had gone outside, so like Erik said, I went after him to stop him before he got too far away."

As soon as I heard Erik's quick thinking reply to our host, I knew that Erik was back to being...or at least on his way to being back to his old self. I could breathe a sigh of relief about it.

"Good thing you thought to grab both of your jackets." Wilhelm told me, supplying us with an answer to what could have been an awkward question. "But we must get you back inside at once. It is obvious that you are both soaked and chilled to the bone. I had Greta get a fire going and we'll get you both a drink that is guaranteed to warm up your insides."

Gratefully, we followed our host back to the house where Greta immediately went into "caregiver-mode", telling us to remove our wet clothes and to get into the bathrobes that she had aleady laid out on our beds. We obeyed her without any protest and handed her our wet attire, which she took care of for us while we sat down by a roaring fire in a lounge area. The butler brought us alcohol based hot beverages. I didn't know what it was, nor did I even think or care to ask. I just enjoyed the warmth it was giving my insides after becoming so chilled. A chill I had been sure I would never be able to get rid of.

I had realized when I was in my room that of course my bed hadn't been slept in and I wondered if Greta had noticed this but she didn't say anything if she had. She also didn't mention the fact that we had been in clothes as opposed to night clothes, nor had Wilhelm say anything. Perhaps they felt that was getting too personal and none of their business to ask about it. Another thing to be grateful for.

I now looked over my drink at Erik to see that he was looking back at me but he quickly looked away and with a slightly puckered forehead, stared into the fire. I knew he was trying to process everything that had happened between him and myself in his mind, so I let him be as he needed to do this.

"We apologize for disrupting your night's rest." I said to our hosts, "We will be leaving for Russia as soon as we are able to."

"But your friend! Erik! He cannot be well enough to travel? Especially after being out in that horrid weather tonight! Should he not rest more to make sure that it did not worsen his condition?" Greta was very concerned.

"Erik will be fine." I replied throwing her an appreciative smile, then glanced his way. He had looked up when he heard his name and nodded his head once in agreement.

"You are sure?" she frowned.

"Perfectly. It is of the utmost importance that we get to Russia. We have already been delayed long enough. I have no doubt that Erik will be in good enough shape to travel now."

"You will stay for the rest of the night at least. You can catch a flight tomorrow." She insisted firmly. "Rest some more first. I have already lit fires in both of your rooms to help take out the chill and the damp."

A few more hours of sleep in a warm room did sound very inviting. "Fine...we will stay for the rest of the night, but we must leave tomorrow."

These matters settled, Erik and I finished our drinks and then headed off to bed. At our doors, I wasn't really surprised to see him go into his room. Naturally, I would have preferred that we share a bed but I also understood that he still needed some time to himself. I respected that of him.

We said our goodnights, entered our rooms where I was thankful to settle back down into a bed...I was exhausted after all...

In the wee hours of the morning, I awoke to find Erik sitting on my bed holding my hand. "Sometimes at night," He started softly once he saw that I was awake, "I lie awake and watch you sleep...and wonder how someone like you could ever...like...someone like me."

"Love, Erik..." I told him in no uncertain terms, "Love someone like you..."

Erik only gazed at me but I could see the emotions at work in his face.

"You are NOT to blame for what the humans did to you Erik.." I continued gently, knowing exactly what he was talking about. I had seen it...felt it. As much as Erik had despised and blamed the humans, he had also blamed himself for what they had done to him. He had held himself responsbile for their actions that night. _"Let it go Erik...it's time to let it go..."_ I said to him with my mind.

Suddenly he put his head down on my chest and broke down. I gently stroked his hair and his back and still whispering I vowed, "I will help you Erik, you will get through this because you are strong. I will help you get through this. I promise. You have already taken the first step towards healing by confronting your past last night. It is going to be alright...you are going to be alright..."

**(Erik)**

Charles's unwavering support for me continue to both surprise and baffle me. I was astounded when he said the word "love" when I was talking with him in his room early this morning...I honestly never thought it was possible that anyone...Charles...especially someone like Charles could actually love someone like me. I thought once he had learned of what happened that night when I was a young boy that he would want nothing more to do with me. But instead, he continued to embrace me...despite that night...

He told me that he wanted to help me...that he would help me to get through it. But I can't see how that is possible. What happened that night went too deep inside of me, it was there for too long...too deep and too long for it to ever completely go away.

I don't think that I am as strong as Charles believes I am...at least not about this. But... I can try..._will_ try for Charles but I can't guarantee him that I will ever be able to completely heal from it...


	15. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

**(Charles)**

When we got out of bed we found that Greta had laid our now clean, dry and folded clothes outside of our doors. We got ourselves dressed then went out to the dining room where our hostess had a big breakfast laid out on the table already for us. I was both pleased and relieved to see Erik dig heartily into his food. Even Greta gave him a big smile.

"Ah, I see you have your appetite back." she said to him in English, still believing he didn't speak German as he had only spoken in it to Wilhelm when we were still outside the night before. "Your friend Charles was right. You are better."

"Yes...thank you. I am glad to have my appetite back for your food is wonderful." He replied honestly in German, surprising her.

"You speak German, too!" she exclaimed.

"Yes. My apologies as the language was harder for me to use while I was...not well." He made excuse for himself, which really was not that far from the truth.

"Of course, of course!" Greta waved his apology away. "No need for apologies."

We fairly stuffed ourselves with the good food but we were also anxious to be off to Russia as soon as we possibly could because of the time we had already lost. I explained this to our hosts and Wilhelm made a call to the airport where he learned that the airplanes were flying again as the weather had finally cleared off enough. He then called a taxi for us to take us to the airport.

We continued our friendly visit while waiting for our taxi and when it did arrive, we shook hands with Wilhelm and Greta hugged both of us as well as gave us each a kiss on the cheek. I watched Erik with interest during this embrace and kiss as he did seem a bit awkward about both, but he didn't object to either. I think he was taken a bit by surprise by Greta's gestures, but had allowed them without protest.

"You young fellows must come back and stay with us if you are ever in Berlin again." Greta insisted and Wilhelm backed her up.

"We will." I promised with a smile. "Thank you so much for your hospitality. We certainly would have been lost without it." Even Erik nodded his agreement with me on this and gave them both a bit of a smile.

We got into the taxi and as we were leaving, they both stood waving, Greta even blowing us a couple of kisses, until we were no longer in sight of each other.

I didn't know if I should say anything just then but I was unable to resist it, so with my mind, I communicated to Erik _"You see Erik...not ALL humans are as vile as those horrible creatures you showed me last night..."_

_"She reminds me of my mother..." _Erik replied simply in his own mind. I looked at him and once again, keeping my actions hidden, gently caressed his arm to show him I understood.

Back at the airport, we made our way to a customer service desk, where we explained our situation and then using my "power of persuasion" was able to get us onto the next flight to Russia which we found out would be parting in just over an hour's time. We were checked in immediately and made our way to the boarding area.

"Charles..." Erik spoke up in a low voice, once we were seated.

"Yes?"

"Don't...please promise me that you won't tell anyone...will _never _tell anyone about...what you now know. What happened. Please.." He beseeched me.

"You have _NOTHING_ to be ashamed about Erik." I assured him quietly.

He hesitated, but then continued to implore me, "Still...please. Please understand..."

I did understand. I had had no plans to tell the other four anyway as I felt that this was something that they did not need to know about, something so disturbing and personal to Erik. And...besides, it was not my story to tell. He should be the one to tell _IF_ he ever wanted to and to _WHOM_ he wanted to. I nodded as I replied, "Of course Erik. I would never tell anyone anyway as it is not for me to tell."

"Thank you." He whispered.

I wanted very much to embrace him in that moment, but of course dared not to in such a public place. We sat until we were called to board our flight and we were finally on our way to Moscow...

At the Moscow airport, Erik wasted no time in summoning a taxi and gave directions in Russian to Shaw's old abode. I was surprised when suddenly Erik told the driver to stop the taxi at one point. I couldn't see any houses or buildings of any kind at all, as we had stopped on the outskirts of a wooded area in what seemed to me was like the middle of nowhere.

"Are you sure this is where you want to stop?" The driver was understandably bewildered. Looking at me, Erik gave me one nod of his head, indicating for me to use my power on him.

Concentrating on his mind, I put my hand to my temple and instead of answering him, simply told him also in Russian, "Please wait here for us. We will return."

It turned out that Shaw's old place was just outside of Moscow, but in a secluded spot and well hidden thanks to the 'vegetation'. Erik and I didn't actually have to go very far on foot to get to it although I was a bit skeptical at first about the thought of having to go through the trees and bush in my wheelchair, but Erik led me to an opening out of view of the taxi and driver where a pathway had been decently worn away over time and usage which lead us to a clearing, revealing a fair size building and grounds. The structure was only one level and sat below the tree-line, but was rather spread out. Shaw's taste had been of more of a modern architect than, say for example our German hosts, I noticed. I had to admit that it was rather cleverly hidden.

Erik lead me to a set of doors and held them open for me, where as soon as I entered, and even though it was quite faint, it still hit me almost at once. "Oh...god..." I groaned.

"What is it?" Erik asked me, concerned.

"Don't you smell that?" I asked putting a hand to cover my nose, wondering how he possibly could not, even though it wasn't strong, it made it's presence known. I had smelled that kind of smell only once before. It was a smell that you did not very soon forget. Nor one you wanted to smell often. If ever. My stomach churned.

"I've smelled it before, yes..." He replied frowning.

"It's the smell of death, Erik! Death...decay..." I exclaimed recoiling slightly from it as well as the images of the aftermath of Shaw's deadly ambush at the compound that I now associated it with.

"Oh god!" Erik's eyes widen in horror at me words. What had we walked into? Another ambush? A deathtrap? "You stay here Charles!" Already, he was running and checking each room within sight.

"Erik, don't be so foolish! Someone could be laying in wait, ready to attack you too!" I called after him before disregarding his order to stay. Like hell I was going to stay put if it was possible that he was in any danger! I was just as foolish as Erik for I didn't even think about how I would be able to help him if that were the case, or the fact that I too would most likely be caught. I just went after him. I also tried to get a read on any other life that might be there, but I was unable to. BUT..._IF _Emma was still alive, she _could_ be in her diamond form and I wouldn't be able to get a read on her anyway. I caught up to Erik just as he approached another room, entered, then stopped short. The smell was worse here...but this time I caught the coppery scent of blood mixed in with it. My stomach churned a bit more and I closed my eyes to fight against nausea.

"Oh...Christ...Jesus Christ..." He moaned.

"What is it, Erik...?" I asked in a barely audible tone, but was certain I knew the answer to my own question.

"_STAY HERE_!" He ordered me fiercely, then went just a little further inside the room. He didn't go in very far and was out within moments, looking almost sick himself.

"It's Angel...isn't it?" I whispered, horrified.

Erik barely nodded his head. I drew in my breath and braced myself, ready to go inside the room to check for myself but Erik held me back, "_NO_...trust me Charles...you _DON'T_ want to go in there...and _DON'T_ look into my mind to see it either..."

I appreciated Erik's protectiveness towards me. "It's that bad?"

Again Erik nodded his head, "Yeah..." he said softly. "She didn't deserve that..."

"Who...? You don't think...?"

"Emma?! Yeah...that's EXACTLY who I think." Was Erik's furious reply.

"But why? Why would she kill Angel? It doesn't make any sense! They were on the same side! Angel was the one person she could have for sure been able to persuade to help fight against us!" I pointed out.

"Who knows with Emma." Erik spat out in disgust.

I thought for a moment. "When was Angel killed?" I asked.

"What?" Erik turned to me, baffled by my question. "As I wasn't here when it happened, I have no clue of course Charles, you know that!"

"But that's the point, Erik! If we _KNEW WHEN_ Angel was killed, _BEFORE_ Emma, Azazel and Riptide invaded our place or _AFTER_, it could determine if Emma survived that fire or not."

It took a moment before Erik understood what I was trying to tell him. "If Angel was killed _AFTER_...then she for sure survived..."

But I didn't want to get too carried away just yet. I held up my hands. "There are too many questions we don't know the answers to. We don't know for sure _WHO_ killed Angel." I first pointed out.

"It _HAS_ to be Emma." Erik insisted. "No one knew about this place except Shaw's followers. The ones who were here when I was."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked.

Erik didn't reply about this right away. "I suppose I can't say that I am 100% sure." he finally admitted. "But I couldn't help but think that the way Angel was killed had Shaw's bluerprint all over it which brings one name to my mind... Emma."

I acknowledged this with a nod of my head. Even though he hadn't allowed me to see how Angel was killed, I trusted Erik's judgement on it and if he felt that the killing was very "Shaw-like" then he had a point about Emma. "And of course we definitely still cannot and will not rule out the possibility that she is alive." I added.

I then put my fingertips to my temple to see if I could get a read on her yet, but still came up blank. "I can't get anything on her. Which still doesn't mean anything. She _could_ be dead...or in her diamond form...or...she is far away from here..." My eyes widened at the implications of my last idea. "We have to leave Erik, right now! We have to get back home!"

Erik nodded in agreement, but we also knew we had to do one thing before we left. "What should we do about Angel's body?" I asked. We couldn't very well just leave her...and given the location of the place, it could take a very long time before anyone came around and found her. I didn't like the thought of her body rotting away here, unattended. And with that, again there would come the possibility of her being discovered and her body undergoing an autopsy which would lead to discoveries of her not being a normal human being.

"Too bad Havoc didn't come with us after all." Erik replied thoughtfully. "Because I think the only thing we can do is burn this place, starting with Angel's room...the room I found her in. We'll set a fire everywhere inside possible and hopefully by the time it is noticed it will be too late...hopefully the whole place will either be ashes by then or in the very least too out of control for firefighters to be able to slow it down any so that the building and she will be nothing but ashes by the end." He finished off softly.

I nodded somberly in agreement. It was all we could do, the quickest thing we could do with limited time and ways in which we could dispose of her body. Erik was already going around and setting fire to anything that would burn with a cigarette lighter that he had found, most likely it was one of his own from when he had been living here. He had first gone into Angel's room where he took the longest time, finding anything burnable to lay on and around her body before setting fire to it, he explained to me when he finally emerged. He had started several other small fires in the room, came back out and started several more anywhere and everywhere. We hung around only long enough to make sure that the flames were getting bigger and spreading, then purposely opened windows and doors just enough so that the oxygen would help to accelerate the fires before we quickly left and made our way back to where we had left the taxi waiting.

"Airport, please. No questions." I instructed our driver with my mind control. The ride back to the airport was silent, each of us in our own thoughts about Angel and whomever her killer really was...Emma or someone we didn't know or maybe even least expected. My heart was heavy about the fact that her life had to be cut short and in such a brutal way. It wasn't right. She should have had the chance to come back to us first at least.

At the airport, as I was paying our driver, I gave him one last suggestion before quickly parting, "Forget where you took us today, forget our faces." We didn't want the possibility of us being linked anywhere near Shaw's place once the fire was discovered. And most especially if Angel's body happens to be recovered. It wasn't right that this was how we had to do things, trying to cover up Angel's death and even make it like she had never existed, but there wasn't any other way, no matter how I felt about it.

Once again, I managed to get us onto the earliest flight and we didn't have to wait long for yet another one. At least this one was going home...and hopefully would be our last one for awhile.

Along the way, I kept trying to get a read on Emma but was unsuccessful everytime. I kept shaking my head so that Erik would know that I was trying, but still having no luck locating her.

At some point during the flight, Erik suddenly spoke up. "Greta..." He said to me, "I remembered the name sometimes being used as a short form of the name Margaret in German. My mother's name was Margita...a Polish form of Margaret.."

I had been looking at Erik while he spoke. I didn't say anything, but found his hand with mine and holding onto it, stroked it gently in sympathy.

The flight had been long but at least we didn't encounter any incidents along the way, forcing any emergency landings and eventually the annoucement came over the intercom that we would be preparing to land soon. Even though we had only been gone for a few days, it felt like a lot longer and I was going to be more than happy to be back on home soil again.

I had continued trying to get a read on Emma, but even here nearly home, there was nothing. This whole thing was starting to perplex me. If she is alive, shouldn't I have picked up on her by now, _SOMEWHERE_? She couldn't possibly be in her diamond form _ALL_ of the time...could she? At least I knew that Raven, Hank, Alex and Sean were quite safe as I was able to get a read on them at Moira's place now that we were close to home.

During the plane's descent, I informed Erik that I was still getting nothing on Emma. "Perhaps she really is dead then..." Erik stated thoughtfully.

"Are you beginning to change your mind that it has to be Emma who killed Angel, then?"

"To me, how Angel died has Shaw written all over it, but...I've been thinking and have to admit that now I'm not so sure that Emma would have been capable of killing her in the way that she was killed. Shaw, yes. Of course. But Emma? There is no doubt that she can and would kill, but in that way...it seems too brutal for her, I'm beginning to think."

I winced slightly when Erik used the term "brutal' to describe Angel's death. But forced myself to go on as it was necessary that we keep focused on this issue. "Who then if not Emma?" I wondered.

"Shaw had been around a long time.." Erik pointed out. "Maybe there was someone from his past whom none of us knew about who came to either take Shaw out themselves or came to...avenge his death..." He finished off quietly.

"And Angel was there on her own.." I remarked softly. This time it was Erik who winced. "It's not your fault Erik, you left there with only Raven. It was Emma who took Azazel and Riptide with her. THEY left Angel on her own." I reminded him quickly, but firmly.

"I was the one who killed Shaw to begin with..." Erik reminded me. "If it wasn't Emma who killed Angel but someone else who wants to avenge his death..." Erik paused here for a moment. "I should never have left..."

"You made the right choice, Erik." I assured him firmly. "There is no way you could have known that any of this was going to happen."

It was morning when we landed and as we had covered thousands of miles since leaving and in such a short amount of time, Erik and myself discovered that were quite exhausted. But before we picked up our four charges, I said to Erik, "Maybe we should check our place for Emma...or any other intruders first, before we bring the other four home just in case."

But Erik disagreed with me. "I don't think that is necessary, Charles. Emma is only one person. And if there _IS _more than one person lying in wait for us, don't you think it would be better for us if we have _MORE_ people instead of just us two?"

He had a point, of course. I was still wanting to protect the four of them, I realized but I couldn't do that any longer. We needed their help. Maybe Erik could take Emma on alone but we didn't know for sure _WHO_ we might be dealing with or how many now. And they had proven themselves just the other night.

"Might I make a suggestion though?" He said to me as we made our way through the terminal of the airport.

"Of course."

"As we are both exhausted and we know that the kids are safe with Moira...and they don't know we are back yet...why don't we take advantage of that, go home and get some sleep before we send for them?"

Erik's idea was very appealing because I knew that I would be too tired to be able to function very well and no doubt the others would want to know all about our trip. And then...we would have to tell them about Angel. And what the possibilty of her death _could_ mean for us. That was something that I was not ready to get into just now. I would be better after a decent rest. I agreed with Erik so we went to summon a taxi and once it arrived, made our way back to our place. On the way, to make sure that our place didn't have anyone "lying in wait" for us, I used my mind to search for any possible intruders but was unable to read anyone which was hopefully a good sign. And once we were actually back at our place, Erik and I even took extra precautions and did as thorough a physical check of it as was possible, coming across nothing unusual. On the way back to Erik's room, I reminded myself that I needed to get someone to start working on restoring my room as soon as possible. But for now, all I wanted to do was lie down beside Erik and get some much needed sleep...

Inside his room, Erik still took no chances and "locked" his door, on the off chance that someone was somewhere inside the house, then grateful to be able to lie down again, we both got into bed. But we weren't able to fall asleep right away...we discovered that we were both now overtired and still too keyed up over everything, especially all of the air travel and time differences which had wreaked a bit of havoc on our internal body clocks. We took advantage of no one being around and admittedly rather noisily, we further exhausted ourselves in Erik's bed. I was amazed at our stamina considering our fatigue and put it down to adrenaline.

Afterwards, lying on his side and facing me, Erik gently caressed my arm as he began softly, "Charles..."

"Yes?" I replied looking at him.

"I'm really glad..." he licked his lips as if he were finding the words a little difficult to say, "I'm really glad now...that you know...if there is one person in this entire world whom I would want to know about it...what had happened...it's you."

I reached out my hand to stroke his cheek as I replied, repeating my promise to him, "I want to help you with it...I will help you through it Erik. I will _NEVER_ abandon you."

Erik didn't reply, but leaned over and kissed me tenderly on my lips before we fell fast asleep..


	16. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

**(Charles)**

I awoke sometime later wanting to change my position. I looked over at Erik but saw that he was sleeping so peacefully that considering the nights he had had lately, I didn't have the heart to wake him to help me. I slowly turned on my side facing away from him and pushed my body back towards his which wasn't easy. I stopped at some point because I didn't want to wake Erik, but he seemed to detect my movement even in his sleep for I felt him move his own body up against mine, drape his arm over me and brush his lips against the back of my head. I took his hand in my own, entwined my fingers with his, brought it to my lips gently kissed it and I fell back to sleep..

When I awoke several hours later I was feeling much less tired and much more refreshed, but I found my thoughts reverting back to Moscow and my heart became a bit heavy once again, remembering Angel. I also couldn't help but wonder about Erik and what he had seen. It had been so bad that he wouldn't allow me in the room nor did he want me to even look into his mind to see it. He is definitely stronger in that way than I am as violence is not something that is foreign to Erik, but Angel's death bothered even him. It all made me think...how has Erik coped with the violence he has had to deal with in his life? There is no doubt that was why he has resorted to violence, because of the presence of it in his past but is that all there is to it in Erik's case? And how will he cope with seeing something like what he saw in Moscow?

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Erik stirring. Then, "Hey...are you awake yet, Charles?" He asked me, softly nuzzling my neck.

"Yes, I'm awake." I told him.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Very well, how about you?"

"Best sleep I have had in awhile I think."

"I'm glad because you needed it." I replied smiling.

Erik helped to turn my body towards his and we lay in bed like this for a little while longer, something we really couldn't do with the others around if we didn't want them to find out about us.

"It's kind of nice just lying here and not having to worry about leaving before anyone catches us." Erik commented, his thoughts mirroring my own.

"I still wish we could let them in on it..." I replied. But I stopped here, remembering Raven's feelings for Erik. I really wished there was a way..."Well, I suppose we should let them know that we are back..." I sighed.

"Charles...why don't give ourselves just a little more time. You and I, we have never had the chance to just be alone together...not here, not like this, without having to wait until night. Either the others are here, or we are off doing something such as the trip we to Russia we just came back from. I don't mean to sound selfish, but right now I can't help but think that it would be nice if we could just have some time to ourselves once in awhile...and do whatever we want to..." Erik's voice trailed off here.

I understood exactly where he was coming from because now that he mentioned it...I found myself wanting the same thing...but..."Don't you think that time is of the essence, Erik?"

"Just a couple of more hours isn't going to hurt. We have no clue as to who...or what we are after...or even _IF_ we are after anything. Nor do we know _HOW_ we are going to go about doing anything about it _IF_ there is something out there. We are kind of 'stalemated' at the moment, so to speak. So I think in this case we can spare some time. After all, once the other four come back, it'll most likely be a long time before we get another opportunity like this one."

I couldn't argue him on that point.

"Alright...a couple of more hours." I consented with a smile.

"Good...because there is something I would like to do..." Erik smiled back, kissed my hand before replying. "And...I know this is going to sound crazy, Charles...bizarre...but...I...kind of want to...'romance' you..." Erik finally admitted. "I have never been in love before...never had a relationship before...and I think that we have a great relationship...the sex is definitely phenomenal...but I want to give you more than that. And we...I have never had the chance to...'romance' you and I want to take this opportunity to do so right now, while we have it."

I was stunned. But extremely touched at the same time. "I don't think it's crazy...I think it's a lovely idea..." I replied softly and in all honesty.

He kissed me on the lips this time and with a smile, he said, "You wait here...I'll be right back." Before he left the room, he turned and warned me, "And _NO _'peeking' with your mind. Promise me."

"I promise..."

I wasn't too surprised when Erik left the room without bothering to get dressed as of course it didn't matter because no one was around. But what did surprise me was when he returned and helped me into my chair.

"Uh...Erik...why aren't we getting dressed? What about our clothes?"

Erik laughed and replied, "Where we are going...what we are doing, we don't need clothes." Was his maddening reply.

One thing...we obviously weren't going very far, so I would find out soon enough what he had in mind. And it wasn't long before Erik lead me into one of the bathrooms where, I discovered a bathtub was filling with water.

"What the...?!" I exclaimed. "So you are trying to tell me that I need a bath? You know I have that special tub in the other bathroom..." I asked not understanding.

Erik laughed again and said, reaching out to turn off the water. "No...not a bath. I thought it would be nice if you and I enjoyed a nice, relaxing soak in a tub of warm water...along with a glass...of our favourite beverages."

I now spotted the two drinks sitting on the sink counter. "Can we both fit in there?" I asked doubtfully looking back to the bathtub.

"I don't see why not, it's a big enough tub."

"And how do I get in and then out of the tub?" I asked curiously. Moira had had someone install a special tub, one with a seat and handles that I would be able to get in and out of on my own. I didn't see how this could work.

"I will lift you both in and out of the tub." Erik said shrugging.

"Are you sure?" I was still a bit skeptical.

"Charles...I have lifted you before, I can do it. To make it easier, I will put your chair right by the tub. So...do you trust me to lift you in and out of the tub?"

It did sound like a nice idea, soaking in a warm tub with Erik. I nodded my head and Erik did just as he said he would, moved my chair right beside the tub then lifted me up and into the tub with more ease than I was expecting him to. He also put a towel on the chair for me for afterwards. He handed me both of our drinks, then got in and sat himself right behind me, proving to me that he was right, that both of us could fit in it, even if a bit cozily. He leaned back, pulling me back against his body and speaking softly said, "Lean back against me." which I did. He took his drink from me and wrapped his free arm loosely around my chest then tapping his glass against mine, he said soflty, "To you, Charles..."

"To us.." I corrected him, then felt his lips brush against my top of my head.

I had to admit that this was quite delectable sitting in a tub of warm water with Erik. It was very soothing and relaxing...and actually, quite 'romantic'. It was something we had never done before. I had to hand it to Erik for thinking of such a thing especially considering that he had never been in a romantic relationship before.

"How did you come up with this idea?" I asked curiously.

"Just because I have never been in a relationship, doesn't mean I'm completely naive about romance and 'romantic' ideas, Charles." He told me, 'reading' my mind.

"Oh...of course. Fair enough." I acknowledged.

Then Erik hinted, "If we hadn't been so exhausted when we came home, I would have suggested doing this before going to bed..."

My thoughts latched onto this idea.. "Maybe...maybe some night we can sneak one of these 'baths' in before going to bed...I'm sure we could do it..."

"You are starting to think like me. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It could prove to be dangerous though..." He teased me.

Whenever the water started cooling down a bit, Erik used his power to turn the taps on and add some more hot water to the bath. But eventually, we knew we would have to get out, so after we finished our drinks, Erik reluctantly manouvered his body around so that he would be able to pick me up and place me in my chair. I too was reluctant to leave but reminded myself that we could...we _WOULD_ do this again some night...and hopefully we would a few times.

After getting me out, Erik pulled the drain and then got out of the tub himself. He handed me another towel and then drapped one around himself. I had assumed that we would just go back to Erik's room to get dressed but instead he said, "You stay here. I'll be right back."

And within moments he was back with not our clothes but our bathrobes.

"Why these?" I asked.

"Why not these?" Erik countered. "There is no need to get dressed just yet, is there? Why not lounge around comfortably for awhile."

I couldn't see why not either when he put it that way.

After Erik helped me into my bathrobe and settle me back into my chair, I followed him out of the bathroom.

"I'm famished and I expect you are to." He said to me.

"I could definitely go for something to eat." I agreed.

"Aright, let's see what there is to eat around here."

I followed him into the kitchen where Erik put our glasses in the sink. Then he began going through all of the cupboards and surprised me by bringing out various kinds of food that ranged from what one would have for breakfast to what one would have for supper...as well as tea.

"What are you doing, Erik?"

"Grabbing anything and everything that looks good."

"We aren't having a proper meal?"

"I would like make you a 'romantic' meal but in all honesty my culinary skills aren't really that great." He admitted.

"Maybe I should make you the meal." I offered.

"Next time. Today is all about me 'spoiling' you." He insisted. "So instead, I thought we could just be casual about it all, eat whatever we are craving, despite which meal we would normally eat it at."

He further surprised me by placing some of the food in my lap and taking however much he could carry himself and going towards the French doors which lead outside onto the terrace.

"Where are we going?"

"To eat out on the terrace."

"In our bathrobes..."

"Of course in our bathrobes. You aren't expecting anyone to drop by are you?"

"No..."

"Then...why not?"

Again, I could find no reason why not. I had to admit that this also did sound rather appealing, this being so casual about eating a 'meal'. I followed Erik out onto the terrace and helped put the food on the table. He then went back and brought out the rest and soon we were sitting and eating.

I was moved when Erik decided to open up to me a little bit and started telling me a bit about his childhood before the concentration camps while we ate, something he had never done before. It had been a happy enough time in his life, I learned, it all sounded like a fairly normal family life. I couldn't help but think how it had been so unfair to him, everything that had happened after. My heart went out to that young boy who had been lost in the horrors of the Second World War. I reached out and caressed his arm nearest me to show my compassion.

We took our time eating and then took our time cleaning up after ourselves. Then Erik had one last request... He suggested that we take a leisurely walk on the grounds together, another thing we had never done.

"Still in our bathrobes?" I asked, quite expecting him to reply in the affirmative which wouldn't have surprised me by now.

"No...it might be better if we change into our clothes now for this." He replied with a bit of a smile on his face.

We didn't talk much on our stroll, but it was enjoyable nonetheless as we walked companionably side by side along the various pathways on the grounds. I admit that this whole idea of Erik's of spending some time together...'romantic' time together that is, had been completely unexpected as of course I had never seen him like this before. But I was not complaining...I was really enjoying our time together. I was glad he had more or less insisted that we do this.

Erik stopped at one point, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It really is _so_ peaceful here. It almost makes it hard to believe that any evil does exist, when you are in such a tranquil surroundings."

Erik's words made me wonder if the stress of everything that had happened lately was starting to get to him. And why shouldn't it? There had been a lot for him to deal with...

It was evening before we knew that we should no longer hold off letting the others know that we were back. We had imposed on Moira enough. I instructed her with my mind to drop them off where she had picked them up-close enough for them to be able to walk the rest of the way, but where she was unable to see anything of my place-then told her to return to her own home once she had left them. I still regretted that I had had to do that to her especially as she has been so helpful to us, but it was for the best.

"Thank you for today, Erik." I told him now, each of us was enjoying another drink while waiting before the others to show up. "It really was a lovely 'gift', just to be able to spend some...'romantic' time together. You are right, we have never had the chance to be able do that and who knows when we will get another chance. Although of course I hope that we will. And perhaps it should be my turn to 'spoil' you." I was almost regretful about it, but at least Erik and I would still have the nights. And we _would _have another "tub soak"..._before_ bed next time..I would make sure of that..

The other four showed up pretty much like we had expected, a bit on the noisy side.

"I hope you weren't like this when you were at Moira's." I admonished them lightly them as soon as they were inside.

"Nice to see you again too, Charles. Everyone was good." Raven vouched for the others.

"Yeah, we waited until we were back here before we started acting up." Sean teased us.

"You didn't need to stop being good for Erik and myself," I protested. "Why couldn't you just carry on here like you were there?"

"Are you kidding me?!" Alex frowned. "It was just about killing us to be nice to each other all of the time there. At least we can just be ourselves here."

It was here that they all began to notice that Angel was not amongst us.

"So Angel chose not to join us." Alex stated, the first to say something about her absence.

Erik and I looked at each other before I replied slowly, "That's not quite the case..."

"What do you mean?" Raven asked frowning.

Again Erik and I looked at each other. "Let's go where we can sit comfortably." I suggested instead. "There are things we need to discuss...something you need to know."

"Uh oh...this doesn't sound good.." Sean put in.

I didn't say anything as I lead the way to one of the lounges. Once everyone was seated, I found that I was having a hard time bringing up what I had to.

"So what _is_ going on with Angel?" Raven asked.

"Angel..." I started, but found it hard to continue. I really didn't want to have to tell them. "Angel..." I began again.

"Angel is dead." Erik interrupted me, coming straight out with it, which caused the others to gasp.

"What?! How? What happened?" Raven wanted to know.

"She was viciously and savagely murdered." Erik replied bluntly.

"Erik, please!" I winced.

"There is no point in sugar coating it, Charles. They are old enough to know the truth and what we might be up against."

"Oh my god!" Raven cried putting her hands over her mouth. "Poor Angel! Who would have done that to her?"

"I'll bet it was Emma Frost, seeings how she ended up here trying to kill you two. And she did live there with you. AND...you believe that she might still be alive." Alex said.

"That was our first thought too, but Erik is not so sure now." I answered.

"Why not?"

"Because of how Angel was killed. I do not believe that Emma is capable of killing in such a brutal way." Erik told Alex.

"And I never was able to get a read on her. Not there, nor here." I added.

"_IF_ she is still alive, there are plenty of other places in the world she could be where you wouldn't be able to read her." Erik reminded me.

I acknowledged Erik's reply with a nod of my head. That was true, he was right about that.

"If it wasn't Emma...then...who?" Raven continued to wonder.

Erik spoke only two words but the way he said them brought a chill to my spine. "A monster." Which once again made me wonder about Angel's death...I shuddered slightly at the thought.

Everyone took Erik's words very seriously I could tell, as no one spoke. Even Alex didn't make fun of Erik's description of Angel's killer.

"So what do we do?" Hank finally spoke up.

"As we don't know who, what or even _IF_ we are up against anyone or anything, we do as I had stated before Erik and I left. We continue our training and Raven and Erik will learn our code. For the time, I don't know what else we can do." I hated this, not knowing but at least we could do something. "I'm sorry everyone. I really wish we had returned with less somber news..."

Raven came to me, leaned over and hugged me. She knew how much this bothered me. "There's nothing you could have done, Charles." she assured me.

I looked up at her and nodded slightly. "As it is already evening, we will start tomorrow morning, so you may go off and do as you please." I now told them, not having the heart to get into anything myself right now. Erik and I had avoided all unpleasant talk since waking up. It had been all about spending some time together. But now, that had come to an end and we were back to reality. Our reality. And we were possibly up against a new, unknown enemy. And I didn't like the sounds of it...

Sometime later that night after everyone had gone to bed, I found myself suddenly sitting up in bed, panting and sweating from another disturbing dream. What was so disturbing about this one wasn't what I had seen as I honestly had a hard time recalling what it was about...but instead, it was more the feeling it gave me which was an overwhelming sense of terror...my logical mind tried to tell me that it most likely meant that as we didn't know who or what we were up against, that was why I couldn't recall the dream. And that the overwhelming sense of terror was probably _because_ we didn't know, which can be worse than knowing sometimes. But...another part of me told me that there really _IS _something out there...and it is something to fear. I had _felt_ it.. And we were sitting here, blind as bats not knowing who, what or when 'it' would strike or what it could do...we knew nothing about 'it' because I couldn't get a read on anything unusual...

"Are you alright Charles?" Erik's sleepy voice came out from the dark. Then I felt him sitting up beside me, putting his arms around me. "You're sweating...and trembling.."

I put a slightly shakey hand up to my face and rubbed it, before running it through my hair. I decided to be honest with him. "I had another disturbing dream." I then told him about it and my theories. "I really am afraid. Afraid for those kids, afraid for us..." I admitted.

He gently rubbed my shoulders, arms and back. "It's okay, Charles. It was just a bad dream. Everything will look different in the morning." He tried to assure me. Then he encouraged me to lay back down with him, but he kept his arms wrapped closely around me as if protecting me. It took awhile, but I finally fell back to sleep, taking comfort in feeling his arms around me and his body close to mine...

**(Erik)**

I had told Charles the truth when I said that I wanted to 'romance' him...but...I had another reason for wanting to spend some alone time 'romancing' him today. It has to do with Angel. There is something that really bothers me about her death, but I don't know what it is. One thing though...if she was murdered by someone who is looking to avenge Shaw's death, whether it is Emma or someone whom we don't even know, then I am the one they are looking for, the one who they want. I said it before and I'll say it again...I don't want Charles involved with it as he has already done so much for me..._BEEN_ through too much_ BECAUSE_ of me...

Then Charles's dream concerns me...the last time he had a disturbing dream, Emma showed up...I don't know what to make of this dream of his, I don't know what we are...I am up against, _IF_ anything but I must be on the alert even more than ever now...I also must keep my thoughts closely guarded so that Charles doesn't learn of my plan...

I know I can take on one person possibly even two if need be. I am a fighter and I will fight for my survival, but in the end, if it comes down to giving my life in order to save Charles's...there is no question of what my decision will be...I wanted to "give" Charles this day, I wanted to let him know how much he means to me in whichever way I could in case we never get the another chance to be together in that way again...


	17. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

**(Charles)**

I awoke the next morning with the dream I had in the night on my mind. I now remembered something about it, but what I remembered was rather odd and not much. I confided in Erik about it when he woke up.

"I remember something from my dream last night."

"What was it?"

"This is going to sound very strange I know and it is not much to go on at all. In fact, I'm sure you will say that it is nothing to go on at all, but all I remember about it is...'black'."

"Black...as in...the colour black?" Erik looked at me doubtfully. "That's all your dream was about?"

"It's all I can remember. I had thought of this too, perhaps the blackness of my dream means 'darkness'. _A _darkness even quite possibly, which could mean _a_ darkness as in a dark place _OR_ a darkness surrounding something...or...someone."

Erik lay with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating. "Well...you are right, it is not much to go on, but...it is more than what we had."

"I'm going to try Hank's cerebro this morning." I now informed him. "As we had been busy with so much happening lately along with 'globetrotting' it hadn't occured to me until I woke up that I should see if I can find anything out with it."

"There's an idea." Erik agreed nodding his head. "Speaking of which, I guess it's time I made my exit again." He sat up, got up out of bed and starting getting dressed. As soon as he was done, he came over, leaned down and kissed me before leaving the room.

I didn't waste much time getting myself ready now that there was something I wanted to do. The thing was, I needed Hank's help with cerebro, so I would have to wait until he was awake. Or...I could wake him up, I decided, if he was taking too long in getting out of bed.

Not too long after Erik departed, I too emerged from his room eager to get started with cerebro but of course Hank wasn't out of bed yet. I went into the kitchen to get myself some breakfast while I waited for him to get up and Erik soon joined me.

"Still waiting for Beast to get up, are you? Maybe I should wake him for you." Erik offered, then only a moment later, changed his mind. "On second thought, that might not be a good idea. For me anyway. He might get pissed off at me for waking him up, then him and I would be back to square one."

Clearly Erik didn't want to jeopardize any kind of friendship that he and Hank had silently and mutually agreed on.

"Don't worry about it Erik, I'll do it myself if he hasn't appeared by the time I'm finished eating."

Erik found himself something, then sat down with me to eat. As Hank still hadn't made his appearance when I was done, I gave him until Erik was also finished, then I made my way to his room and knocking on his door, I called out, "Hank, wake up! I need you to assist me with cerebro and the sooner the better."

It is amazing how quickly Hank responds when he is needed for something that involves science or his own inventions.

"Be right there, Charles!" He called back and in no time was opening the door. "You said you need help with cerebro?"

"Yes...I should have thought of it sooner, but with everything that had happened, it never even occured to me until this morning. Can you hold off eating for a little bit?"

"Sure I can." He agreed and we made our way to the laboratory where cerebro was set up.

"Good. I want to see if I am able to find Emma with it, for one thing..." I started explaining to Hank.

At this point, Erik fell in step beside us along the way. "Mind if I tag along?" He asked.

"Please do. If anything turns up, I want you to know about it right away." I told him. I had been thinking of asking Erik to join us as it was.

"I'm also hoping to see if I can find any...'unusual' mutants." I turned back to Hank to finish my explanation, then gave Erik a warning glance _NOT_ to bring up my dream with Hank there. At this point, I didn't think it was necessary to mention it to the others.

Once in the laboratory, I wheeled myself over to where Hank hooked me up to cerebro. Remembering the first time, the only time I had used it, I had been unprepared for the intensity of having a multitude of mutants amplified in my head all at once, so this time I braced myself first, clenching my hands onto the arms of my wheelchair. As it was, it still caught me a bit off guard which made me gasp but at least it wasn't quite as bad as the first time. Then...I concentrated on each and every mutant that I saw and felt. In the end, I was unable to come up with anything concretely conclusive. There were some possibilities for the "unusual" mutants, but I definitely did not get a read on Emma. I kept cerebro on for as long as I could then finally signalled to Hank to take it off of me. I looked at Erik and slowly shook my head. "Nothing. I definitely did not find Emma. There were a few 'interesting' mutants, but nothing that I can say that concerned me." I didn't know how I felt about my findings. On the one hand, I was relieved but on the other, we were no further ahead about anything either. We were 'stalemated' as Erik had put it the day before.

"So Emma didn't survive the fire then." Hank stated while putting cerebro away and shutting everything down.

"It would seem that she didn't." I agreed.

"If I am not needed anymore, I would like to eat now." Hank said.

"By all means Hank, go ahead." I told him. "And thanks."

The three of us left the laboratory but Hank turned into the kitchen when we went by while Erik and myself carried on passed it.

"So maybe your dream means nothing after all, Charles." Erik said after Hank left us.

"Maybe..." I replied doubtfully. "But there is an unsettled feeling surrounding it all that I just can't shake, Erik. I really don't think it should be ignored. Best to be on the cautious side of things anyway. So once the others get up, we resume training. And in the meantime, I am going to write down our code for you to memorize. Or better yet, I will tell you and you will write it down, then memorize it." I said as we entered my study to do just that.

The younger ones were quite eager to be back in training so the session turned out to be very productive which pleased me. As it had gone so well, we broke off training for the day in mid-afternoon. Even though I wasn't able to be a part of their training physically any longer, I found that supervising them in it was doing me some good too which at one time, I never would have thought it possible, but was glad to discover that I had been wrong.

Training I also found, had helped to work out some of the tension we had all been feeling from the night before so we were a more relaxed group that sat around the table for our evening meal that night. It almost made me feel a bit sheepish being so concerned and frightened about the dream I had had. After all, it had been for all intent purposes, a dream about nothing. I pushed away any thoughts about the feelings it had previously given me.

It was sometime in the night when I had awaken to Erik's body shivering rather violently beside me. I reached out to find him cold to the touch. I was instantly awake and alert.

"Oh god, Erik! What the hell?! What's wrong?! You're freezing!" I moved myself closer to him to help warm him up. If he hadn't felt cold, I would have thought he had a fever, but he was definitely not burning up.

Teeth chattering slightly, he did his best to reply. "I...I d-d-don't kn...know...I...I...h-h-had th-this d-dream th-th-that I was outs-s-side...h-h-had b-been w-walking in m-my s-sleep and ended up outs-s-side..."

I frowned in the dark. This didn't make any sense at all. If it had only been a dream, Erik wouldn't physically be cold, obviously.

"Do you think it's possible that you were walking in your sleep?" I asked.

"N-No! I-I've n-never w-walked in my sl-sl-sleep be-before in my l-life!" He denied vehenemently. "I-I sw-swear Ch-Charles...I _w-w-was_ re-eally outs-side, b-but I do-don't remember g-going out or c-c-coming b-back in. J-Just being outs-side..."

This made even less sense to me. I was completely baffled. I didn't have an answer for this, so I did all I could do for the time being, made sure that Erik was completely covered with the blankets and kept my body right up against Erik's to warm his up and eventually, his shaking subsided and I could feel his body getting warm much to my relief. This was just too bizarre. I didn't know what to make of it.

"Are you alright now, Erik?" I ventured to ask after awhile.

"Yes..." he replied quietly. But I quickly probed his mind to see that he was understandably a bit upset over it. Again, I didn't know what to say so I held him closer...tighter...

The next morning, I didn't know how, or even if I should broach the subject of what had happened to Erik in the night. On the one hand, I felt it was best that we talk it out as it might help us to figure out what had happened, to find some logical explanation for it. But I didn't know if I should be the one to bring it up to him or let Erik bring it up...I decided to let it be for now, and let him make the decision for me.

As it turned out, my mind was so preoccupied with Erik's mysterious occurrence that I knew I would be no good with supervising any training as I wouldn't be able to give anyone my full attention. And...a theory was developing in my mind.

"There is something I need to do for awhile today and you all know what you need to do, need to work on. I expect you all to help each other out. Erik, you can supervise them in my place, please." I informed everyone once they were all accounted for.

Erik looked at me in surprise, frowned slightly as if a bit suspicious but didn't object. He gave a slight nod of his head in acknowledgement.

"Thank you." I replied.

I waited until everyone was gone before I made my own way to the library where I started looking through my bookshelves for certain books, then began leafing through them. In particular, I was interested in 'Astral Projection' or 'Out of Body Experience'. As crazy as it seemed to me, I wondered if this was what Erik had experienced in the night. Being a scientist, I didn't really believe in it myself, but I was desperate for an answer of some kind, any kind. Also, I was a mutant and I had seen my fair share of bizarre things in my own life that are explained by mutations...things that the humans would have a hard time believing. Perhaps there was something about this Astral Projection/Out of Body Experience. I should at least keep an open mind about it. The only catch was...even if that had happened to Erik, his body should _NOT_ have _physically _become cold...yet...even I know how tricky and complex the mind can be. Perhaps Erik's mind had convinced his body that he really had been outside, therefore making his body become cold like it _HAD_ been exposed to the elements. I still didn't know if I could believe that, but for the moment, it was all I had. Which was why I wanted to do some research on the subject...

I was so intent on my research that I hadn't realized how much time has passed when suddenly, "Something certainly has caught your attention." I heard Erik's voice which caused me to jump.

"Erik! You startled me." I breathed, but smiled. He was leaning casutally against the door frame, just inside the doorway. "As a matter of fact it is rather interesting."

"Care to share?"

"Oh...I don't know that it would interest you." I said lightly, not really sure if I wanted to confide in Erik about my theory.

"Why don't you try me." He challenged.

I looked at Erik thoughtfully for a moment or so before replying. "Alright, if you insist. I didn't bring it up before because you didn't seem to want to talk about it, but an idea had come to me, so I decided to look into it. "

"And...?"

"I had wondered if you had experienced what is called 'Astral Projection'." I explained, now feeling a bit silly as I was saying the words.

"'Astral Projection'...as in..."

"'Out of Body Experience' yes." I interrupted him realizing that he was aware of this idea too.

"You aren't serious..." Erik's mouth was twitching a bit as if he was trying to refrain from laughing.

"I don't really believe in it either Erik," I admitted to him. "But _something_ happened to you in the night and as a scientist, I am compelled to find the answer to it."

"I understand that Charles, really, I do but...'Astral Projection'?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense...well, sort of. What doesn't fit is the fact that your body _was_ cold. _THAT_ wouldn't happen...shouldn't happen with 'Astral Projection'. The only way that could happen is if you_ were_ physically outside."

"So we are back to 'Square 1' with this then." Erik stated staunchly.

"Most likely..." I sighed, not liking it but I knew that Erik was right. I would have to abandon this approach.

"Don't think about it anymore today Charles." Erik encouraged me.

"But what if it happens again, Erik? _IF_ there is something we can do about it, I want to know so that we can avoid it happening again. If it happens again, it could be dangerous for you being exposed to the cold like that!"

Erik didn't say anything...I could tell that he didn't want to talk about it right now for some reason. So I decided that I would not to say to anything to him, but perhaps I would try and stay awake tonight...

As it turned out, I didn't quite stay awake the entire night, but was in and out of sleep during the night. Erik however, was beside me everytime I was awoke and his body was never cold, much to my relief, as well as Erik's, I'm sure. Perhaps it was a one time, unexplanined phenomenon...I could only hope...

We carried on as usual the next day and the next night, I felt less concerned, but still tried my best to wake myself up every once in awhile, just so I could check on Erik...

At some point in the night, I jerked myself awake and found Erik's shivering body next to my own. Once again, I was alarmed as I had never even noticed that he had been gone! It must have happened while I was in my deepest sleep, I figured was the most rational explanation, but this did not make me feel any better. How could I find out what was happening to Erik if it kept happening while I was too deeply asleep to be aware of him leaving the room _and_ coming back?!

Cupping his cool face with my hands, I gently rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs. Erik winced slightly which took me by surprise. Frowning, I reached over and turned on the lamp beside me. I was stunned to see some light scratches as well as a red mark on his left cheek.

"God Erik! What happened to you?! What _IS_ happening to you?!" I now lifted up the blanket to find that his left shoulder had been bruised. I wrapped my arms and body gently around his body so I wouldn't hurt him any further around Erik to help warm him up. "What is going on?!" I whispered into his hair, now very much afraid for my dearest friend. Given the circumstances, I felt it was imperative that I look into Erik's mind...I could see that he _had_ been outside..or so his mind told him he was. I still was unclear if this had actually happened or not, but I was inclined to believe it had. At one point, I did see Erik fall to the ground but that was all I saw and because of that, I believe he may have been knocked unconscious...as if he been struck by an unseen force of some kind. The rest had been hard to figure out as I hadn't been able to see see anything else but black...darkness, like my own dream...

**(Erik)**

The reason I didn't want to talk with Charles about what had happened to me that first night was because I didn't know if there was really anything to talk about. I had dreamt that I was walking in my sleep and ended up outside, and I'm pretty sure that I did end up outside. What else could explain the fact that my body had become so cold? The problem was, I didn't remember going out or coming back in, just being outside and then back in bed with Charles again. It has been so dark where I was outside that all I saw was black and darkness...and what had happened outside...nothing. Nothing had happened. I won't deny that the whole experience was rather unnerving, not knowing how I got outside to begin with, exactly where I was outside or even why I should be there in the first place and again, how I got back in bed.

I didn't lie to Charles, I never had walked in my sleep before in my life but perhaps that _is_ what had happened. In fact, I think I can almost convince myself that is exactly what happened. And I'm thinking I should tell Charles that as well. I know it would make him feel better about the whole incident, at least...

There is no denying that we were both relieved when nothing happened the next night, but the night after that...that's when I knew that what was happening was something that was beyond my control. I was outside again, only this time something was out there with me. I couldn't see anything, but I could feel a presence...an ominous one...a_ dark_ one...

"I know you're here!" I yelled out to it, wanting it to know that I was onto it. But almost immediately, something struck me on the side of my face and shoulder, knocking me to the ground and the next thing I knew, I was in back in bed...

I know that Charles is very concerned about me now and I've been spending my waking hours since the night, thinking about this matter...I especially didn't want to talk to Charles about what had happened to me this time either...because I feel certain that it is a mutant who has been doing these things to me (a human wouldn't be capable of doing these things, but mutants are...)_. THE_ mutant...the one who had murdered Angel (I had felt right from the moment I saw Angel's butchered body that it _HAD_ to be a mutant who had killed her)...what Charles's dream was about...as again, all I saw was black and darkness, just like Charles's dream...and if I am right, this is my reason for not telling him. Because I had already promised myself that he was _NOT_ going to be getting involved. This isto be _MY_ fight...

I started making a plan for the next time...because there _will_ be a next time, of that I am sure of, but I will be ready for it. And maybe I can be the one to take _it_ by surprise...that is what I am counting on...the element of surprise...


	18. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

**(Charles)**

The next morning I was reminded that something had once again happened to Erik as this time there was no hiding the fact with the visible marks on his face. The scratch marks weren't too bad but they were definitely there and the red mark on his cheek had swelled into a bump and was now the colour of a bruise. So as not to wake him, I very tenderly caressed the bruise on his cheek with my thumb while he slept, very much worried about him and wishing that I understood what was going on. It was a terrible feeling not knowing, not understanding and therefore not being able to control the situation as well as not knowing what could be done to help him.

Erik's eyes now fluttered open and we gazed wordlessly at each other.

"What happened last night, Erik?" I finally asked quietly. "How did you get this bruise and the scratches on your face as well as the bruise on your shoulder?"

"I ran into something." Was his nonchalant answer.

"What was it?" I persisted.

"I don't know Charles. If I was sleep-walking, it could have been anything. And it was dark. I couldn't see anything. I didn't see anything." His tone implied finality, suggesting that there was nothing more he could or wanted to say or add.

But I wasn't quite ready to let it go just yet as another idea had come to me. "Erik...do you think it's a teleport who has been doing this to you?"

Erik pondered this idea for a moment before slowly replying. "It's definitely possible...but if it is, he is more than just a teleport as I never remember being teleported to and from and I have not seen him at all."

Now I became thoughtful, but as I could think of nothing else to add I confessed softly, "I feel like someone...or something is trying to take you away from me..."

Erik reached for the hand that had been caressing his cheek, entwined his fingers with mine, brought it to his lips and kissing it, he said confidently. "It's going to be alright Charles."

"How do you know?" I asked, desperately wanting to believe him.

Smiling he said, "Because I told you once...or twice. I'm too stubborn to die. And both Heaven and Hell, or wherever I would end up, would send me straight back anyway, I'm sure."

But I didn't return his smile. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Erik."

"Hey...I am joking." He tried to assure me, kissing my forehead.

But I didn't find it funny. "You are a good person. You prove it to me everyday." I told him gently but firmly. "And by the way...I would _never_ send you away..." I added softly, kissing him back.

Erik didn't reply at first, but when he did, he spoke tenderly, "I know you wouldn't..."

"And please... start taking what has been happening to you seriously, Erik!" I continued on, pleading with him now. "We really need to figure out how to stop this from happening again. You could get seriously hurt!"

Erik rolled onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, blew out his breath before answering, in a half joking half serious tone. "Well one thing, I guess I'm going to have to keep my clothes on at bedtime now...until this gets sorted."

This was an idea. I nodded my head in agreement. At least if it did happen again, he would be better protected from the elements until we figured this thing out...it made me feel marginally better...marginally...

Of course Raven was the first to notice the marks on Erik's face and comment on them when she and the others had risen for the day. "Oh my god, Erik! What happened to your face?!" Raven cried full of concern, reached out and gently cupped his face with her hands when she saw him.

"Would you believe that I was walking in my sleep?" He smiled at her in a sort of teasing way.

"You? A sleep-walker?" Raven answered with a question. Then, "No, I wouldn't."

"In that case, I feel even more stupid because of the real reason. I got into a fight with a door-frame." He told her.

"What do you mean by that?" Raven asked giving Erik a puzzled look.

"I got up in the night forgetting that I wasn't in my own room and not bothering to turn on any lights, I walked right into a door-frame." Erik told her. He was so calm, confident and convincing in his excuse that it wasn't hard to believe him.

"Oh no, don't feel stupid about that..." Raven told him, sympathetically.

"Well, if you think I look bad, you should see the door-frame." He replied giving her a quick wink along with another smile.

"Even when you are hurting, you still joke.." Raven responded, returning his smile.

"Oh...it doesn't really hurt all that much...seriously..." Erik waved the idea away.

At this point, Hank made an impatient noise, that sounded like a bit of a growl to me which also told me that he was starting to get a bit jealous of the attention that Raven was paying to Erik...and vice versa.

"Time for training, everyone!" I announced loudly and clapping my hands together, quickly intervening before things got out of hand. "Hank, could I have a word, please?"

"What is it Charles?" Hank was the first to speak after everyone had left us. He seemed a bit surprised by my request.

"I know how much Raven means to you," I began. "And I just want to assure you that you don't have anything to fear from Erik in regards to her. He is fond of her but in much the same way I am...like a brother."

"Really? Because their exchange seemed rather flirty to me.." He replied, with a slightly bitter edge to his tone.

"I know. But it was harmless flirting, I promise you."

"Are you sure?" He asked still unconvinced.

"I am very sure." I told him in no uncertain terms. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, Charles...it's _him_ that I don't trust."

"Well trust me on this...you CAN trust Erik with Raven. It is no more than a...'brotherly' affection for him towards her. And don't forget that Raven chose to stay behind with you when Erik and I went to Russia. In fact, she was the first to choose to stay behind with you." I reminded him.

"That's true.." Hank replied slowly. "You're right Charles..."

"Then please do not react whenever you see the two of them interacting such as they were today. It is harmless, like I have already promised you." At least it is harmless on his part. It was easy to see that Raven still adored Erik, the way she had shown her concern for him, but nothing was going to come of it, obviously. "Erik has told me so himself how he feels about her. And don't forget, I can read his mind. He was telling the truth." I continued. I didn't want or need Hank going off the deep end everytime something like this happened. Nor did I want what he and Erik had silently and mutally agreed upon to turn sour. We all needed the support of one another, especially now. "We all need to be on the same side here, Hank..." I told him seriously. "It is imperative that we don't let our emotions get carried away, especially when the reasons for it are unfounded."

"I'm sorry Charles. I know I become angry more quickly now because of this 'beast' mutation of mine...I can't seem to help it sometimes..."

"You just have to learn to control your temper, Hank. I will be more than happy to help you with it, anytime." I vowed to him with a smile.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"And just so you know Hank, Erik has no fight with you...and no wish to fight with you."

Hank gave his head a nod in acknowledgement and understanding. We then left to join the rest for the training session.

That night, just as he said he would, Erik came to bed in his clothes, but lay down on top of the covers.

"Well this isn't going to be any fun..." He complained.

"We can work around it Erik, it's not impossible. You of all people, who showed me that even in my circumstances I can still be intimate, should realize that. It is best that you are prepared for whatever it is that has been happening to you. And at the moment, this is the only thing that we know of that we can do. This is more important, don't you think?"

"Oh...I don't know...you're important too...to me..." He told me gently, softly fingering the outline of my face...then my lips which kissed his finger.

I didn't know what to say to that at first, but when I did, I said softly, "Your safety and well-being are top priority right now."

This time it was Erik who didn't say respond, but he finally got under the covers, moved close to me, then wrapped his arms around me...

Nothing happened that night, so we were on high alert the next night, fully expecting something to happen. But again, we were surprised...relieved...and perhaps a bit puzzled when yet again, nothing happened the following night.

"Maybe whatever it was, got tired of playing their games with me and has gone away for good now." Erik said as we were getting ready for bed one night a few days after the last incident.

"We can only hope," I replied, "But we must remain vigilant, Erik. Whatever it is might just be waiting for us to lower our guard."

"You are probably right..." Erik sighed. "I am starting to get tired of having to sleep in my clothes though."

"I know...hopefully it won't have to last too long."

Later that night, I found myself sitting up and out of breath again because of a similar dream I had had several nights earlier. I ran a hand over my face and through my hair, calming myself down which took a few mintues. I was glad that I hadn't woken Erik this time at least. Finally, when I was feeling better again, I laid back down on my side and moved my body back towards Erik's. It took me several minutes before I realized that my body wasn't finding his...I frowned in the dark as I turned myself onto my back. I looked over towards Erik and found myself looking at an empty space. I stretched my arm out to where he should have been, but again found nothing.

"Erik?" I whispered. "Are you in the room?" There was no answer.

"Erik? Erik! Where are you?" I called out a little more loudly this time, now fully awake and starting to feel a bit frantic. I tried to tell myself to calm down and that he was probably just somewhere else in the house, but after what had already happened to him, I just couldn't believe it...as much as I really wanted to.

Doing my best to squelch a feeling of dread that was threatening to set in, I forced my mind to reach out, searching for his with mine but...I came up as empty as the room. Erik simply was not here and I could not find him with my mind. As quick as I was able to, I dragged my body over to the nearest bedside lamp and turned it on, looking around the room as I did. Nothing looked out of place as far as I could tell, but I needed to get into my chair so that I could have a better look around. There was one thing in particular that I wanted to check out and as soon as I was in my chair, I started looking into every possible place in the room that I could before I was 'satisfied'. There was no denying it...Erik's helmet was missing. I was trying to decide if this was a good thing or not. On the one hand, it explained why I wasn't able to read him...at least I hoped...quickly, I shook my head free of the other idea. I _mustn't_ think like that! He had to be alive! But even if he is...there is a possibility as to why he took his helmet with him...because he didn't want me to be involved...

My heart sank as I brought both of my hands up to my face at this realization. "Damn you, Erik...why did you do this? We are in this together!"

I knew I had to keep my head and wits about me. I couldn't afford to lose it now. I wheeled myself over to where my clothes were and started getting dressed. One good thing, _if_ he were outside again, at least he was dressed this time. I saw none of the clothes he had been wearing when we went to bed lying around. And now...I _had_ to tell the others about what had happened with Erik those other two nights. There was no avoiding it now, I needed their help...Erik needed their help. And as I was unable to read him, I could only hope and pray that he was alright and would be alright. And that we would be able to find him and help him...find...help...once again the idea using cerebro came to my mind. Of course! Even if Erik had his helmet on, I only needed to locate the mutant..._if _indeed it was a mutant who was involved with this, who was with Erik. I should be able to see Erik through the other mutant's mind. I almost hoped that this was the case as at least I stood a chance of finding out where Erik was and what was happening if he was with a mutant...

Now clothed, I left my room and went immediately to Hank's room, knocking loudly on Hank's door. All the better if the rest also woke up now too.

"Hank! Wake up! This is an emergency!" I called out. Given the time of night, it wasn't surprising that it took longer to wake Hank up.

"What is it Charles?" A sleepy Hank finally managed to get up and open the door.

"I need to use cerebro again, Hank..." I started.

"NOW?!' Hank exclaimed. "At THIS hour?"

"It's an emergency...I will explain everything as soon as the rest are up."

"At least I won't be the only one getting forced out of bed at this ungodly hour." He said grumpily.

"Believe me Hank, I would _much_ rather be soundly sleeping in my own bed too." I replied rather sharply.

"Sorry Charles...of course you wouldn't be waking us up without a very good reason to."

We went to the other rooms where Hank helped me to arouse the other three, then once we were all gathered, I explained Erik's strange events to them.

"Those scratches and bruise on his face...weren't because he walked into a door-frame...he was...physically attacked by...something...or someone. He doesn't know what it was. He couldn't see it...his shoulder was also bruised in the attack. He showed me." I decided to add.

Raven gasped at this new information.

"And now...Erik has disappeared sometime in the night and he has taken his helmet with him. I can't help but think that what has happened to him tonight is the same thing that happened to him those other two nights. I could be wrong but I have the feeling that it might be. He was so foolish to take his helmet! He doesn't know what he is up against!" I was both angry at him and afraid for him. "He would stand a better chance with all of us!" I stopped here for a breath and to calm myself before going on. "Anyway, the reason I want to use cerebro again Hank, is on the chance that he is with a mutant. I won't be able to read Erik as long as he is wearing his helmet of course but if he is with another mutant, I should be able to see that Erik is with a mutant through that mutant's mind. And then we should also be able to find out where they are."

"Wait...how did you know that Erik had disappeared sir? I mean, seeings how you are sleeping in his room and he was...wherever it is he is sleeping these nights?" Sean asked.

I was prepared for this question and used a similar excuse to the one we had used in Germany. "A noise woke me up in the night. I wasn't sure what it was and decided to investigate And when I did, I noticed that Erik was not in the room he has been using lately...and when I tried to reach him with my mind, I could not find him which took me back to his room. I searched it for his helmet only to find it missing. I now suspect that the noise I had heard was him coming into the room to retrieve his helmet."

One thing that bothered me about this scenario...Erik could never remember leaving the room, only being outside and then back in bed. So how was it that he could have had the fore-thought to take his helmet with him this time _if_ this was what had happened to him this time?

The other three accompanied myself and Hank to the lab where cerebro was and once again, I wheeled myself over to where cerebro was kept and Hank hooked me up. I grabbed the arms of my chair and squeezed my eyes shut this time as I awaited the onslaught of fellow mutants being amplified in my head. I still let out a bit of a gasp when it happened, but I seemed to be getting used to it. Like before, I concentrated fully on each and every mutant but in the end, I came up blank once again. Dejected, I signalled for Hank to shut down cerebro and remove it.

I shook my head slowly as I reported frustrated, "Nothing...I couldn't find Erik at all."

"So he's not with another mutant." Alex stated.

"It would seem he isn't..." I agreed slowly. But for some reason, I couldn't let go of the idea that he was...had to be. After all, a human couldn't be doing this to Erik...there was no other explanation...

I brought my hands to my face in frustration. Why did you have to take your helmet, Erik?! I despaired silently.

"What do we do now, Charles?" It was Raven who asked.

"The only thing I can think of to start with...we search the grounds around here for Erik...and pray to God that we find him." Alive...before it's too late...was an involuntary thought that crept into my mind...


	19. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

**(Erik)**

The last thing I remember was falling asleep beside Charles in bed. I awoke to find myself outside again...like the last two times. At least I was wearing clothes this time, I thought. But that wasn't the only thing...in my hands, I held my helmet which was a bit strange in itself. I did have the idea to somehow bring it with me the next time this happened, but the only way I could think to (and hopefully) make that happen was to physically have it in my hands or arms when I went to sleep. So every night I would lie awake while watching and waiting for Charles to fall asleep before I picked it up from where I had been keeping it lately, under my side of the bed. The problem was, I would fall asleep holding onto it, but my grip would naturally loosen in my sleep and it would end up falling out of my hands and onto the floor. So how was it that I had it now, I couldn't help but wonder as I quickly put it on and thereby cutting off Charles from me. I would meet this unknown foe on my own...

Another odd thing...as soon as my helmet was on, my mind cleared, whereas before...it seemed a bit...'foggy'...

I had no clue as to where I was. Nothing looked familiar to me, but then it was very dark. I could only make out that I was in the middle of a field...or possibly a meadow...definitely, somewhere out in the open. I could not see Charles's mansion at all...at least I knew he should be safe.

As like before, I sensed a presence even though I couldn't see it. I almost yelled out "I know you're here!" like I had the last time, but then I recalled what "it" had done to me when I did that before and thought better of it. I wondered if it was at all possible to 'reason' with "it"? I decided that I wasn't going to get anywhere _not_ trying and I couldn't just stand here _not _doing anything, so really, what choice did I have?

"You must be a mutant like myself..." I finally called outloud in a voice just above normal range.

But again, as soon as the words were out I felt something sharp swipe across my face, sending a stinging sensation into my brain telling me that whatever it was had cut into my flesh. Instinctively, I dabbed at the places where I had been cut with the back of my hand to feel that it was wet...not unexpected, I was bleeding.

"Will you _STOP_ attacking me?! I have done _NOTHING_ to you! I don't even know you! What is your name? What is your mutation? And _WHY_ do you keep attacking me?!" I fired off my questions one after another in my impatience with the injustice and unfairmess of this "fight" as I couldn't see this "thing", therefore couldn't defend myself against it. I fully expected an onslaught from my enemy now, given what I had just said to it, but I almost didn't care at this point. I was surprised when nothing happened to me. I took advantage of this unanticipated lull and didn't say or do anything for a moment myself in order to collect my thoughts.

"Who are you?" I ventured to ask cautiously a few moments later in a more subdued tone. "I know you are a mutant. We should be on the same side..."

Then I heard "it" for the first time...it sounded like it was supposed to be a chuckle...or a laugh. It was of a deeper tone and rather raspy, suggesting to me that whatever it was, must be male.

The laugh or chuckle was followed by a disembodied voice. "We are _HARDLY_ on the same side..." It..."he" finally spoke...or rather, spat out.

"What is your name?" I tried to sound friendly, deciding to go in a different direction.

"I go by many names...but for you...you can call me, 'Night Stalker'".

Well, I couldn't deny that was a fitting name for it...at least in my case. I nodded my 'approval'.

"And what is your mutation, Night Stalker...aside from being invisible, or being able to be invisible possibly only at night, hence your name, I will assume." I also assumed that there was more than just his night time invisibility as the scratches on my face and bruises told me that there was more to this mutant than just being able to hide in the darkness of night.

"I do have a few mutations..." He admitted. "But don't worry, I will get to that later."

"Why have you been doing this to me? I don't understand. Why me?"

"You'll know the answer to that soon enough too."

"Oh for Christ's sake!" I exclaimed irritably. "Why can't you just spill your guts to me _NOW?!" _

Next thing I knew I was flying through the air, then landed flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me. It took me a few minutes to get my breath back. I winced as I slowly sat up. I may have been knocked down but now I was pissed off. I got myself to my feet and spoke in a low tone, full of rage,

"You..._BASTARD_! You know what you are?! You are a goddamned fucking _COWARD_! You _WON'T_ even fight fair by _ALLOWING_ me to see you so that I can at least defend myself against you!" I seethed.

"You want to know who I am?!" Night Stalker shot back at me. "Do you want to know?!"

I was taken aback by his question and waited for him to supply the answer, but instead, I heard and also felt the tearing of my clothes along with more of my skin, this time on my chest, in all a matter of seconds. I didn't even bother to look down at the damage he had inflicted on me. They were just flesh wounds. I knew I would survive.

"Will you _STOP THAT_?! At least _FIGHT FAIR_!" I shouted angrily.

"Oh come now...Erik..." He pouted...pouted? That's rather odd, I thought... I was also surprised to hear him use my name. But it didn't surprise me nearly as much as what he said next. "I thought you found it 'more fun to have a bit of sport before the kill'..." which sent a chill down my spine. I remembered those words...I had to think back, but not too far...I _HAD_ said them myself...to...

"**_EMMA...!_**" I gasped out, shocked. "I thought...we thought...you had died..." This didn't make any sense. This _couldn't_ be Emma...even if she _had _survived...this wasn't her mutation...

"Oh yes...your 'Pyro-boy' did try to kill me...and admittedly, he almost succeeded. But my diamonds saved me...more or less. It did save my life but 'Pyro-boy's' attempt altered both my looks and my mutation..."

As well as her voice, I thought to myself. The fire must have done some damage to her vocal cords. I didn't say anything outloud yet as I was still trying to digest that Emma was here...was the one who had been doing this to me...had survived after all...

"Explain..." I commanded her.

"My colouring is now as dark as midnight. My 'diamonds' are black _AND_...permanent. Which admittedly is quite handy as your telepath lover has already figured out, so to speak. He can no longer read me. _EVER._"

Well, this definitely explained why Charles could never get a read on Emma...

"_AND_...because of my altered mutation, my exterior is now permanetly hard. As well...you have heard how real diamonds can cut glass...the diamonds all over my body now have _very_ sharp edges. Millions of them that can cut through flesh like a hot knife through butter." She bragged. "Each of the alone may be small and cause only flesh wounds, but together they can do real damage."

Angel's blood-drenched room which had held her butchered and mutilated body instantly came to my mind when she said this last part. "It _WAS_ youwho killed Angel..." I stated.

"Guilty as charged." Emma said rather proudly.

"But..._WHY?_ Why kill her? What did she ever do to you?"

"That filthy little whore had her dirty claws into my Sebastian the second I was caught!" Emma raged.

"No...Emma..."

**"EMMA IS****_ DEAD_****!"** She now screeched at me. "I prefer 'Ebony' now." She added more calmly.

I held up my hands. "You've got it wrong...Ebony...it was Shaw who came onto Angel as soon as he thought you were out of the picture..." I tried to reason with her, although I was pretty sure she wouldn't believe me.

"Sebastian would _NEVER_ do that to me!" She insisted angrily.

"But he **_DID_**..."

"**_NO!"_** She cried out, sending me once again crashing to the ground with even more force than before. I quickly moved some of my limbs around to make sure that nothing had been broken. Clearly I was going to have to watch what I said around her if I didn't want to end up with a broken body. The fire also seemed to have altered her temper...making it more dangerous...

Slowly, I got up once again. I was going to have a lot more scratches and bruises on my body after tonight. But now that I knew our...my enemy was Emma, I was feeling a whole lot more confident about being the one walking away from this fight. As long as I could get her to fight where I could see her...

"So then...any other altered mutations?" I asked casually, then added to myself, "That I should know about?"

"Just one more...my powers of suggestion have been enhanced as well."

"In what way?" I asked curiously.

"I can make anyone say, see, do and/or feel anything I want them to...and I don't even have to be right there with them. I can be within a certain distance away from them. I can even give different suggestions to more than one person at one time. And...I can make it so that you don't know that it is me or anyone making these suggestions to you. You believe that it is all of your own accord."

Emma's explanation made me think...do..._SEE...FEEL_ whatever she wants them to...a thought was starting to dawn on me...it _would_ make sense...

"Was it _YOU_ who made me believe that I had been outside those last two times then? You made me believe that I had been outside and because of that, made my body physically _become _cold, like I really _had_ been outside?"

"The first time, yes. You never actually did leave your bed. But the second time...that was me as well, but I _made_ you leave...I _told _you, gave you the suggestion to go outside...to make sure you left quietly so as not to wake up your lover _and_ 'lead' you to where I was waiting for you. And I also 'told' your lover to sleep soundly and not to wake up until you were back in bed."

It all made sense now.

"I believe I am more powerful than your lover in this way now." I still couldn't see her of course, but the pride in Emma's voice was unmistakeable.

"The helmet...I expect the reason why I have it is also because of you." This however didn't make any sense to me. Why would Emma want me to have the helmet? She can't get through to me, can't read my mind nor make any of her suggestions to me as long as I am wearing it, even now with all of her altered and enhanced mutations. I am sure of it because of how my mind cleared after I had put it on earlier. I am now positive that my brain was 'foggy' before I put it on because _she_ had been in my head telling me what to do.

"You would be correct Erik. I did 'tell' you to bring your helmet with you tonight."

"Why would you do that?"

"For two reasons. One, so that your lover can't read your mind and know that you are with me."

"Why not just _tell_ him to 'sleep soundly' like you did before?"

"I'll get to that in a moment, but the second reason why I told you to bring it is because I wanted this to be more fair between us. You keep telling me that you want a fair fight, well, I have allowed you your helmet so that you will know that I can't touch your mind as long as you are wearing it."

"It's still not fair when I can't see you, Em...Ebony!" I pointed out. "At least you can give me that much considering your newly enhanced mutations!"

"Hmm...I suppose you are right. It would be a rather boring and lopsided fight if I didn't allow you at least that..."

Before I even knew it was happening, Charles's mansion appeared not too far away from where we were. It was still dark of course, but there was some light filtering from somewhere...possibly a few different sources. And it was enough to see the hideous creature now standing before me...had I not known for a fact that it was Emma, I never would have guessed it in a million years because she did _NOT _resemble Emma Frost in the least. Like she had told me, she was completely black...but I could see the razor sharp edges of her many 'diamonds' reflecting off of what little light there was. I had little doubt that her exterior was as hard as real diamonds. But her face...I couldn't really see a nose, but the right side of her face looked odd and 'puffy', giving her right eye and right side of her mouth a distorted look. I had a hunch that her face had been scarred, the result of being burned on that side of her body from Havoc's flames.

"How did we get to Charles's place? Is there a mutation that you have purposely neglected to tell me about?"

"No...that was one of my 'suggestions' to you...that you can't see his place...that you believed you were out in the middle of nowhere."

"We've been here, this close all of the time?" I couldn't deny that I was a bit fascinated by this new power of hers

"Yes. Impressive, is it not?"

"What about yourself? Are you really invisible in the night, as long as there is no light or is that also just a suggestion you give?" I asked instead of replying, deciding that I had better not get myself waylaid.

"A bit of both in that case."

"So...what about Charles then?" I finally asked

"I only wanted him to _NOT_ be able to read you, long enough..."

"Long enough for what?"

"For _THIS!"_

Once again it happened so fast, I didn't even see it coming. Emma swooped, knocking me to the ground yet again, but this time, she jumped on top of me, pinnng me down before I even had time to think, knocking my helmet off of my head and kicking it too far out of reach for me.

"What...?" I could feel those razor sharp edges of hers digging into my skin everywhere her body was in contact with mine. I knew if I moved, they would dig even further into me.

"Your lover has been looking for you, Erik, he'll be here soon now that he knows where to find you, now that your helmet has been removed...and when he gets here..." Emma stopped here and gave me an evil smile made even more ghastly by her distorted face...I heard the tearing sound before I even felt it. Quick as lightning, Emma had been able to tear open a gash that went from just below my chest cavity to my navel with her bare, but deadly diamond hands. She held up a clenched fist whose razor sharp diamond edged knuckles were now dripping with blood...my blood...my mind hadn't been able to process it yet as I didn't feel any pain yet. She leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I have only cut you deep enough so that you will slowly bleed to death as I don't want you do die _QUITE _yet..." Now I was starting to feel the burning, stinging pain of the gash...after the initial natural delayed reaction due to shock. I couldn't help but gasp, "I want you to _WATCH_ while I _KILL_ your telepath lover, just like I watched as you killed _MY _lover...just like what was supposed to have happened before...only this time...you _WON'T _be able to do a damn thing about it because you are too weak with your own life slowly draining away from you..." She got off of me but then turned towards me and leaning down whispered one last time, "I'm sure you are a bright enough boy to know that your coming after me will only cause you to bleed more and will most certainly kill you more quickly. Plus you would be no match for me in your condition. Oh and don't worry..." She added. "I won't make you suffer too long. If you aren't dead by the time your partner is, I will come back and slit your throat to speed up the process." She promised before turning back and started walking towards the mansion... then, at one point, stopped and waited...like a hungry, wild, deadly animal ready to pounce on it's prey...

Oh god...she was going to kill Charles...this wasn't what was supposed to happen...I hadn't wanted this...He was not supposed to be involved in this! But...what could I do...? Especially now...lying here, wounded, bleeding and helpless...I knew she was right...going after her would only speed up my own imminent death...

I placed my hands over my wound and pressed down to try and stop the bleeding, but I found it hard to apply enough pressure...my mind leaped back to Emma and Charles. I _HAD _to stop her...somehow...I _HAD_ to...I had to help Charles in some way at least, no matter what it did to me...if it was the _LAST_ thing I ever did...the last thing I ever did for Charles...but in my wounded and weakening state, I wondered if it was at all possible that I would be able to do it...

"If there is such a thing as a God, please help me to help Charles.." I prayed desperately. Then as if on cue, the memory of Charles instructing me to tell the dish to turn came back to me,

_"__Whatever happened to the man who's trying to raise a submarine?" _He had said when I couldn't do what he had wanted, had given up and he was trying to encourage me.

Suddenly determined and despite my circumstances, I ignored the now searing pain in my abdomen and gathered up all of the strength I possibly could, realizing once again that this most likely was going to be the very last thing I could do for Charles, and with my arms and hands at the ready, I summoned every last bit of my strength and forced it into my power, bringing forth anything that would respond to it...and as I was doing so, the ground beneath started erupting around me. I watched in mild fascination until I realized that it was the pipes from Charles's underground water sprinkler system that was responding to me. Of course! The sprinkler system! This realization encouraged me which seemed to give me more of the strength I needed as well. I also hoped that the piping would be strong enough to be able to put at least one crack in her form.

With every move I made, I was losing blood, but I had to do this. I was determined to see this through. The pipes from the system broke through the ground by her feet and coiled themselves around her ankles at my 'command'. Caught by surprise, she fell screaming to the ground where more of the system pipes broke through wrapping themselves tightly around her thighs and torso, clamping her arms to her side, and pinning her to the ground. Lastly, piping coiled tightly around her neck. I 'pulled' as hard and as tight as the strength I had would allow me to. I pulled and pulled...continuing to squeeze her body as tightly with the piping as I possibly could. As I pulled, I waited in hopes to hear one sound in particular...and just as my strength was giving out and I didn't think I could hold on any longer, I heard it. The sound of glass cracking. Or in this case, diamonds cracking...not one sound but a few. I knew that I could never shatter her diamonds of course but I had hoped that I would be able to put at least one crack into her form like I had done when Charles and I had caught her in Russia and Charles stopped me from killing her. I was pleased that I heard more than one. And now weak from blood loss and exhaustion, my arms and hands fell uselessly to the ground beside my body. I could do no more, but hoped that Charles would somehow be able to use those cracks in Emma's diamond form to destroy her for good.

As I lay there with my breathing becoming more shallow, I felt a heaviness on my abdomen and shadows by my side. I also became aware of other sounds...voices...bright flashes...then Charles's face floating above mine which confused me at first...then realization struck me...and it made me both sad and bitter. I had failed him...he wasn't suppose to die...

"Sorry...Charles...I...did...try..." I attempted to say. Then as everything started to go black, a calm and peace like I had never had in life came over me as I felt myself floating towards Charles...


	20. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

**(Charles)**

It happened just as we were all getting ready to leave the house to go look for Erik on my grounds.

"Wait!" I stopped my wheelchair suddenly, my eyes getting wide as I recognized a voice that just came into my head. "Erik!" I exclaimed, a smile of relief coming to my face. "He's outside on the grounds!" But the smile was quickly wiped off of my face and then contorted when I suddenly felt a burning sensation in my abdomen which caused me to cry out in pain.

"Charles! What is it?" Raven asked, concerned.

"Oh my god..." I gasped out as I realized... "Oh my god...it's Erik...he's been critically wounded..." I barely got the words out.

"_WHAT_?!" Raven gasped, her hands immediately covering her mouth in her horror.

"It's Emma, she's the one who's been doing this to Erik!" This time there was a collective gasp in everyone's astonishment.

"But...how...?" Sean started to ask.

"No time to explain now, we _NEED_ to act fast for Erik's sake!" Was my reply. "He doesn't have much time! Hank, you are the fastest, you _NEED _to go _IMMEDIATELY_ to Erik! He has a gash on his abdomen and is losing blood. I _NEED_ you to get to him as fast as you can and stop the blood by putting your hands on his wound and applying pressure to it!" I instructed. "Make sure that he doesn't talk or move. Do whatever you have to, to keep him calm and still. Here is where you will find him." I showed him with my mind. But Hank just looked at me, hesitant. "_THAT IS AN ORDER_, _HANK_! You are the only one who can get to him fast enough! You can save him!"

"Please Hank! For me!" Raven begged him, adding her plea to mine.

"I will _MAKE_ you do this if I have to Hank, but you are a better person than that!" I told him, then quickly added "There's no time to waste you _HAVE_ to go _NOW_!"

This brought Hank around. He gave one curt nod and in a blur was out the door. "You go with him, Raven, you help to keep Erik calm and still." She also nodded and took off after him.

It took all of my own will power to not go after them to Erik myself but I knew that we _needed_ to take care of Emma first because Erik would need to go to the hospital and we would need an ambulance to take him. I couldn't and wouldn't risk innocent human lives getting caught in any crossfire and being killed by Emma. We _NEEDED_ to take care of her as quickly as possible.

"Havoc, Banshee, there is someone we need to take care of!" Just as I finished saying this, I _FELT_ Emma inside my head for the first time since she, Azazel and Riptide showed up at our place that night. I now looked at the other two, "Erik has managed to immobilize Emma and even put some cracks into her diamond form!" I cried out jubuliantly, understanding that this was why I was able to get a read on her now. "Okay this is what we need to do!" I said with vigor as we made our own way quickly out to where Emma lay captured.

I realized that thanks to Erik that taking care of Emma shouldn't be that hard nor take us too long after all. _"Good job, Erik! Well done!" _I now communicated to him even though I wasn't sure if he understood me or not as I could tell that his mind was weak which of course was a great concern to me. "Banshee, I need you to use your sound wave power as high as you are able to go. Don't expect Emma's diamonds to shatter like you can shatter glass as it's just too hard of a mineral. All I am hoping for is that you will be able to at least put more cracks into her form. The more, the better. Havoc, get into position and be ready to aim and use your fire power directly on Emma at my signal. You will continue to keep it on her body for as long as you possibly can." I instructed aloud, trying not to think about Erik's declining condition. "And both of you, she is lying on the ground so you are going to have to angle your aim downward. As you will be a lot closer to her Havoc, I am confident that there will be no escape for her this time."

"Yes, sir!" Both boys agreed, almost happily which again, made me wonder at what we had to do. I didn't want any 'students'of mine to enjoy killing others, no matter _who_ they were, or how horrible of a being they were. I didn't like the thought of having to kill Emma, but I could _FEEL_ the pure evil that is now within her and _knew_ that there was no choice in this matter. If I let her live, she would never, could never be contained. She would be able to escape and she would keep on killing whomever got in her way until she finally managed to kill whom she was really after. Erik and myself. And very likely she would go after Raven, Hank, Alex and Sean as well. I refuse to take a chance and let that happen. And then who knows after that. I doubt that Erik, myself and the others would be her last and only victims. No, there was only one thing that could stop her. She must be destroyed.

"What the hell...?!" Alex exclaimed baffled, as we came across the now rough terrain of my grounds, which was a mass of ripped up grass, dirt and twisted piping.

"Erik used the underground irrigation system pipes to capture Emma." I replied smiling. I couldn't help but feel proud of Erik and what he had been able to do, despite his injury. But it had come a price too...the smile left my face and my heart became heavy as I reminded myself of this.

"Brilliant!" Alex acknowledged, impressed.

We had now reached Emma who was writhing about, trying to free herself of her 'metal' prison. She stopped as soon as she saw us and looked up at us in defiance. Then, her expression changed and softend as she locked her eyes on mine...I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from hers...we held each others gaze...I could feel her inside my head...pleading with me to let her go...she wouldn't harm me...or anyone else if I did...she promised...she continued to send me what felt like sincere thoughts...maybe she would change...maybe I had been wrong about her...I was getting ready to call the whole thing off to Havoc and Banshee...

"Sir...?" Alex's voice sounded far away... "Sir? **_SIR_**!" He yelled out, physically jolting my chair and myself which broke my gaze with Emma and finally snapped me out of her 'trance'.

I shook my head slightly to clear my head and shouted, "**_NOW_**, _Banshee_!"

As soon as the words were out of my head, Sean's high pitched sound waves could be heard. Alex and myself covered our ears for Sean's 'performance'. I kept my eyes on Emma's form and was thrilled to see that more cracks did indeed seem to be appearing all over her diamonds. I looked at Sean, smiled and quickly gave him a thumbs up before re-covering my ear.

When he had exhausted himself, I signalled for Alex to take over and fire his mutation straight onto Emma's body. No matter what, I still couldn't feel right taking a life, but I knew that there was just no way out of this one. Alex kept it up for as long as he could and the end result was that there was only blackened ground and mineral left where Emma's body had been by the time he was done. I had the boys use their feet to quickly sift through what had been left behind just to assure us all that she really was gone. This time there was no doubt about it. She had burned from within her diamonds this time, thanks to all of the cracks in her form that Erik and Banshee had been able to create.

"We must get over to Erik, _FAST_!" I now told Alex and Sean who helped push my chair over the broken ground towards him.

As soon as these words were out of my mouth, I summoned Moira with my mind and told her that Erik was critically injured and that I needed her to send an ambulance to my place _straight away_ to take him to the same hospital where I had recieved my own medical care as it was connected with the CIA. It was the one and only hosptial I knew I could trust given that Erik was a mutant. With my mind I gave her the details of his wound, stressing his blood loss and which blood type he was. As soon as I had known he had been cut and was losing blood, I had immediately looked into his mind before he lost consciousness to find out his blood type, fully aware that this was what Erik was going to need more than anything and as soon as possible at the hospital. I wanted them to be prepared. Once that was taken care of, my mind went back to Erik..

Even though we weren't that far away from him, it seemed like it was taking us too long to get there and my heart started pounding. I could only hope and pray that we hadn't been too late...

Once there, I saw that Hank was still applying pressure to Erik's abdomen with his hands and that Raven had her own hands on top of Hank's, her head resting against his arm.

"He's still breathing, but it's shallow." Raven reported to me when she realized we were there.

I nodded and told everyone, "Help is on the way. They should be here anytime. Alex, Sean, help me out of my chair and put me on the ground by Erik." I instructed them to which they obliged. They set me down where I was able to lift Erik's head while at the same time and with help from the boys, manouvered my body ever closer to Erik, gently placing it into my lap. "Alex, Sean, please go and wait for the ambulance and bring them here as soon as they arrive." The two hurried away as I turned my attention to Erik. "Erik? You're going to be alright...help is on the way." I felt my eyes stinging with emotion after seeing my friend for the first time since earlier in the night and as I spoke these words. He _HAD_ to be alright...

Erik's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at me, "Charles..." he barely managed to get out.

"Shhhh...don't talk, Erik. You've lost a lot of blood already. You can't afford to lose more." I told him gently. "You need to save your strength too."

"...every..one...safe...?" He said, ignorning my advice. It was a struggle for him to talk which pained my heart.

"Yes...thanks to you. You were brilliant." I smiled through the tears which had gathered in the corners of my eyes and were starting to fall. I gently brushed a lock of hair on his forehead as I informed him. "Emma's dead. For sure this time."

He even managed a small weak smile. "...my...debt...is paid..." His eyes closed.

I frowned. "Debt? What debt? You didn't owe anything to anyone! The only thing you owe us Erik, is to _LIVE_!" I couldn't help it. The tears were falling faster now. Gently stroking his face with my fingers, I went on, "I do _NOT_ want to live in a world without you, Erik Lehnsherr!" I told him, my voice racked with emotion. "And I _WON'T_. I _REFUSE_ to." I vowed passionately.

And with that I addressed Hank and Raven, "I need to help Erik remain calm and still in order to help prevent him from losing more blood. I'm going into his mind to do just that until help arrives, so do not disturb me. Hank, when the ambulance arrives, you know what to do, as do you Raven...and be prepared to take over for Hank. I need to stay with Erik for as long as I possibly can, until I am satisfied that he is stable." They both acknowledged me with nods and then I reached into Erik's mind...

_"Calm, Erik...you must stay calm and still...I am here to help you...I will not leave you...be calm...calm...calm..." _

I honestly have no idea how long it was before the ambulance and help did arrive, but I suspect it wasn't very long at all. Erik seemed to not be doing any worse at any rate, much to my relief, he was about the same. I kept my mind in his, but allowed myself to notice Hank leaving in a blur and that Raven had morphed into her human self and was now the one applying pressure to Erik's wound when the amublance attendants came over to us with a stretcher.

I quickly explained Erik's wound to them (while at the same time 'telling them' to _not_ question how he had recieved it) then Raven removed her hands and showed it to them.

Very quickly and efficiently, they assessed Erik's injury, gave their report to the hospital dispatch, then started procedures for treating it and him, while I went back to keeping him calm.

When they had loaded him onto the stretcher and then into the ambulance, I told them. "I am going with you."

"Sorry sir, I don't know that we can allow that..." One of them said.

"I don't think you understood me, _I am going with you._" I repeated, this time with my 'power of persuasion'.

"Of course, sir. We will make room for you in the back." The one who first denied me, now responded.

"Thank you." I replied sincerely. Turning to Raven, I promised, "I will let you know how he is as soon as I possibly can."

She nodded as she leaned down and hugged me, whispering, "Take care of him Charles. And make sure that they take care of him too.."

"You can count on it." I replied.

On the way to the hospital, I continued to give Erik my full attention, making sure that he stayed as calm and as still as possible, even while they were working over him...especially as they were working over him. Even though he was unconscious, part of his brain seemed to be aware that something was happening to him.

Then suddenly I heard whimpering sounds coming from Erik and saw that even in his weakened state he was starting to thrash around a bit.

"Patient is in distress!" Came from one of the attendants.

Instantly, I realized at once what was going on as I caught the idea from a corner of Erik's mind of when he had been experimented on as a young boy back in Poland. He may be weak, but I knew Erik...he would fight it even with what little strength he had, if he felt he was being threatened or 'tortured' which is exactly what he was doing now. Of course I could not let him continue on like this as it could kill him before we reached the hospital! He needed me now more than ever...

"_Remain calm Erik...you are not in Poland...you are in an ambulance going to a hospital where they will help you...be calm...calm...not in Poland..." _I repeated over and over. _"I am here...I won't leave you...be calm..."_

The whimpering sounds and thrashing abated at my words and the other attendant announced frowning slightly, understandably bewildered, "Patient is now...calm again..." I sighed inaudibly in my own relief but contiuned to keep my focus on Erik.

At the hospital there was a medical team waiting and ready to rush Erik into an operating room where they will check for any internal damage and do any repairs that are needed before suturing his wound. I already knew that the internal damage was both minimal and repairable. My relief was immense at the thought that Emma had been cocky enough to only cut Erik deep enough so that he wouldn't die immediately. But his own actions to save me...us had resulted in the loss of a lot of blood which was a great concern to me as I knew he needed a blood tranfusion more than anything. But I also knew that they realized this and let them do their job.

Naturally I wouldn't be allowed in the operating room but I followed them as far as I was could, keeping my mind in Erik's until he was under the anesthesia.

I then wheeled myself slowly back to the waiting room and contacted Raven telepathically about Erik.

_"Will he be alright, Charles?"_ she asked me. I detected the worry in her thoughts.

_"I'm sure he will be now that he is getting the help he needs."_ I assured her.

_"Thank god!"_

_"Yes...we got to him and got help just in time. Good team work. Be sure to tell Hank that his getting to Erik when he did and stopping the bleeding helped to save his life."_

_"I definitely will." _Raven replied eagerly.

_"I'm going to stay here with Erik for as long as he needs me."_ I now told her.

_"Of course. I'm glad you are there for him." _She replied.

_"I'll keep you posted." _

I promised. And with that, we broke our communication.

I waited until a surgeon finally appeared sometime later with the news that I already knew. Erik's surgery and transfusion had been a success. He didn't believe there should be any complications with either.

I smiled at the doctor as he relayed this news to me. "I would like to sit with him, be with him when he wakes up." I stated.

"He might be out for awhile yet."

"It doesn't matter." I told him, this time using my power.

"Of course." The doctor now agreed to my request and even showed me to Erik's recovery room. I thanked him before entering. I wheeled my chair over to the bed, then took Erik's hand in my own and kissed it.

"What were you thinking by using your helmet, Erik? You might not be lying in here if you hadn't..." I whispered. But even as I said this, I recalled his statement about his 'debt being paid' and I knew it had something to do with the guilt he had been keeping inside of himself. Something that we would have to have a talk about when he is back home. At least, he would be going back home. It had been touch and go for awhile, I now allowed myself to acknowledge. If anyone had taken just a little bit longer in getting to Erik...if Hank...or the ambulance...I stopped myself here. There was no sense in thinking about what _HADN'T_ happened...just what had. And Erik was still here because of it.

I now realized just how exhausted I was myself and leaning forward in my chair, I put my head down on the bed, his hand still clasped in mine and closed my eyes...

Hours later and in out of sleep for myself, movement from Erik caused me to wake up from my own sleep. I saw how he was looking around the room with the same fear in his eyes I had seen in Berlin. Once again, I quickly reached into his mind with mine to calm him.

_"It's alright Erik...be calm...you are in hospital where they are taking care of you. They won't hurt you here. You should know that I would never let them hurt you."_

I then showed him what had happened between him and Emma to help him understand why he was here.

Calm once more, he looked over at me. "Charles..." He whispered.

"Shhh...Erik, you need to remain still and quiet. You've had some surgery done and your abdomen has been stitched, so you need to remain still. I'm going to let the doctor know you are awake." I told him, using the device left on Erik's bed that would ring through to the nurse's station. Within minutes a nurse appeared. I told her at the same time she noticed that Erik was awake and she went off to find the doctor.

"God, I feel like shit..." Erik complained. "My gut hurts like hell."

"I know..." I agreed sympathetically, knowing what waking up from surgery and anesthesia was like. "But it's a small price to pay for being alive. It won't last." I promised him.

Not long after, the nurse arrived back with the doctor and I left the room so they could do a routine post-surgery check on Erik. Several minutes later I was allowed back into the room where Erik lay staring miserably up at the ceiling. He seemed to be more alert and awake now.

"I hate hospitals." he said as I wheeled up beside him. "Get me out of here Charles, use your powers of suggestion to get me out." He demanded.

I couldn't help myself, I actually chuckled.

"Well, whats so funny?" He asked crossly.

"Not funny Erik, just hearing you being yourself again is the most wonderful, beautiful sound in the world to me right now. I'm happy!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not. Not until I get out of here." He persisted. "Come on, get my clothes and help me get dressed and let's get out of here." He said as he threw the covers off of himself, obviously fully confident that I was going to do what he bade me to do. Slowly he sat up, and swinging his legs out of the side of the bed he grimaced in pain, his hands automatically clutching at his stomach where his injury was as he did so.

"Erik!" I exclaimed, both worried and little angry at his persistance. "Stop! Look! You are still hooked up to the intravenous."

"Well that is easily taken care of..." He replied looking at it before he went to pull the tubes out of his body.

"_NO!" _This time I used my mind to stop him. "Honestly Erik, I swear you are more work than a child at times!" I chastised him. "Now listen to me. You could really end up hurting yourself pulling a stunt like that and then you would be in here for even longer." I added none too gently.

He moaned as he collapsed back down onto his bed, exhausted now himself so I helped move his legs back and cover him up again.

"I understand your hatred of hosptials, but you can't leave." I replied once again sympathetically, but dead seriously. "You _need_ to stay in here until you have healed enough. You have _only _just had surgery. Give yourself some time." I coaxed him. "I want you home as soon as possible too but this _not_ something you can fight against and win. You will only succeed in doing more harm to yourself...as well as prolong your stay. I promise to have you out just as soon as they give you the go ahead. In the meantime, you need to just relax and take it easy. If you can do that, I'll bet you will get out even sooner."

Erik looked hard at me as I spoke those words. "Alright." He finally agreed. "If that's what it takes to get out of here sooner, I'll not move a muscle."

His words caused me to grin again at Erik's stubborness and I had no doubt he would do just that if he knew it would help. "I will stay with you for as long as you want me to." I promised him gently.

Erik didn't say anything but sighed, as he grudgingly gave in.


	21. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

**(Charles)**

As it turned out, Erik stayed in the hosptial for a total of five days. Which was probably quite good for him. He was fine in the beginning, but that was most likely due to the fact that he had just had surgery, his abdomen was still quite sore and he was still weak as well, which caused him to take it easy whether he liked it or not. But after a few days of taking it easy, even though the soreness was still there, he started getting restless, very much like a caged wild animal. After the first day or so, he refused to stay in his bed and would be up pacing around in his room or more often, wondering the halls and was even a bit short tempered at times. I ended up 'living' at the hospital because as I found out, I was needed to keep Erik calm on several occasions throughout his short stay. I did manage to secure a chess game from someone who worked at the hospital after they had overheard me say casually said it was too bad that we didn't have one. But of course it only takes so much time to play chess and there are several other hours in a day which needed to be filled. Finally, exasperated myself with Erik by the 4th day, I approached the doctor in charge of him and asked if it might be better that I take him home to finish out his recovery. I could tell that the doctor would be more than happy with this idea, but wanted to make sure that it would not produce a negative effect on Erik's abdominal injury, so he did a thorough examination of Erik and his wound. Then satisfied, and with very strict rules to not over exert himself and to come back for another checkup and then to get the stitches removed, he signed Erik's discharge papers on the 5th day. As soon as we were outside, Erik stopped to breathe the air in deeply.

"Ah...do you smell that Charles? It's the smell of freedom." I couldn't help but smile at him. His whole demeanour had changed the moment we stepped outside. I couldn't really blame him for not wanting to be in the hospital. Especially in his case.

Soon we found ourselves standing outside of the door to my..._our_ place once again. Erik was still sore and still moved slowly, but now that he was out of the hospital, he seemed to be more than willing to take things easier. It was obvious just how very pleased he was to be back home again. As was I...pleased and happy for both of us, but especially Erik.

Raven was the first to greet us and practically running up to us, hugged us both, taking care to go easy on Erik. "It's so good to have you both back home." Then quietly she added, "The two boys were starting to drive me crazy!"

"What have they done now?" I sighed resignedly.

"Oh, don't worry Charles, it was just the usual teasing. No physical damage."

"Thank god for that." I breathed more freely.

"You're back!" Sean and Alex now noticed and came up to us. "Hey..Mag...uh...Erik. Why don't you show us your 'war wound'?"

"Alex! Give him a break! He just got in the door!" Raven reprimanded him sharply.

"No...it's alright.." Erik replied.

"Well you should not be kept standing. At least come in, sit down and make yourself comfortable first." She told him.

"Thank you. I can't tell you how good it is to be back home." He said as we all followed her into the lounge we frequented the most. I had to chuckle to myself at Erik's statement as I could guess how it good it was for Erik to be back home and without reading his mind, given his behaviour at the hospital.

It was now that I noticed that Hank hadn't been around to greet us. I checked his mind to find that he was avoiding us...and I knew why. I decided that I would let him come to us first instead of me going to him...

"Now can you show us, Erik?" It was Sean who asked eagerly this time and before Erik sat down.

He obliged the boys by gingerly lifting his shirt up to show off the vertical line of ugly dark stitching which was still surrounded by red-pink skin.

"WHOA...!" was the reaction of both boys, obviously impressed with his 'war wound'. I saw a new respect for Erik in both of their wide eyes. Erik looked over their heads at me with an amused expression on his face.

"You're still sore aren't you?" Raven asked sympathetically. "I can tell by how slowly you move."

"It'll pass." Was Erik's nonchalant reply as he smiled at her.

This was when I caught Hank now hanging outside the door of the room, peeking in at the rest of us. I wheeled myself over to where he was. "Why don't you come in and join us, Hank?" I invited quietly.

"Charles...I..." He began, paused, then with a bit of a sigh started again, shaking his head slightly. "I am not proud of what happened, Charles. When I saw Erik lying on the ground bleeding and so close to death...that was when I really understood what he had done to save us. And then when you showed up and he was struggling to talk...the first thing he wanted to know was if everyone was safe. He had done that for us. He hadn't been thinking about himself, he was thinking about us. He hadn't hesitated and I have no doubt that he wouldn't have. But I did. And it could have cost him his life. I had been selfish and he could have died because of it."

"That is when emotions can become 'dangerous'. When you let them cloud your 'vision'. In times of crises, you have to learn to let go of any of 'dangerous' emotions you may have that may cost another innocent's life."

Hank hung his head at my words. "I'm sorry Charles.."

"I am not angry with you Hank, you have been paying for it with your guilt, but it's time to stop. And you know what else you must do to make it stop. It's not me you should be making your peace with." I told him gently, but firmly. He nodded his head in agreement. "For now, why don't you come in and join us." I stated rather than asked. "It's the first step. It'll make it a little easier for you later.." I encouraged him.

Hank followed me slowly into the room. Erik noticed him and as Hank approached him, he said, "Hank...I understand that you were the first one to get to me and saved my life."

Hank shook his head slightly and looking down he replied quietly, "It was nothing. Really."

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Thank you." Erik told him sincerely.

Hank looked at Erik and gave him a small smile, then said, "I...I um... I have to go. But I am glad you are home again," He added genuinely, then left the room again.

"Was it something I said?" Erik asked puzzled.

"He's been acting kind of moody for days. Since that night..." Alex chimed in.

"Of course not, Erik." I replied shaking my head and then addressed them all, "Don't worry about him...you know how he gets whenever he gets involved in science."

"Oh...right." Was Erik's not thoroughly convinced reply. "Look if you guys don't mind, I would actually like to lie down myself. I'm quite tired."

"Yes, that is a good idea, Erik. I know you never had any proper rest at the hospital at all. I'm sure you must be exhausted. You must use your own bed too." I insisted. My own room was still under repair. I had finally contacted someone to come in and start working on it while I had been staying with Erik at the hospital. It would be a few more days before it was ready.

Erik nodded and then left the room. Alex and Sean were next to follow suit to go and do their own thing. Raven remained behind and once everyone had left, turned to me and said, "Charles...can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course. What would you like to talk about?"

"I think we should go somewhere more private."

"My study?" I suggested, baffled wondering what she wanted to talk about that required privacy.

"Sure. That would be a fine."

We left the lounge and made our way down to my study, where after I went in first, she looked both ways down the hall before closing the door. I turned my chair around and faced her, "So what's up that you wanted to talk with me in private about?"

Raven looked slightly nervous now. She licked her lips before blurting out. "What is up with you and Erik?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned, answering her with a question.

"I mean...oh god, this is going to sound...weird, I know, but...and I know you and Erik are very close but that night on grounds when you showed up where he lay wounded and bleeding...I had the feeling that there was something more to your relationship..."

I sat back in my chair and studied Raven for a few minutes before answering. She had given me an opportunity to tell her the truth about myself and Erik and I really wanted to. Yet...I found I was still unable to. However, I decided that I could tell her the truth to a point. Choosing my words carefully I said, "Yes, Erik and I are very close...have been very close. Since you and he showed up here that day, and with everything that has happened since...our trip to Russia...well...we have gotten to know each other extremely well and as a result have become even closer. The relationship...friendship that I have with Erik is one like I have never had before...with anybody. It's complicated to explain...but...it goes deep."

Raven was thoughtful as she regarded me during my speech and even after I had finished. "I see..." She finally replied slowly.

"Raven...that is all I can tell you and all you need to know." I said in quiet but very serious tone, before she could say anything more. I now realized that she was working it out in her head and was most likely coming up with the right answer. I should have realized that I was telling her enough for her to be able to figure it out. Maybe subconsciously I had wanted to do it this way...? Eventually, she nodded her head slowly in acknowledgement. Understanding that she now knew, I was very tempted to ask her if she was alright with it, but I also appreciated that she needed some time to process the information in her own mind.

"Is this why he isn't...'interested' in a relationship with me?" She eventually asked.

I didn't want to lie to Raven so it was my turn to nod my head slowly. Then I said, "Raven...we...Erik and I...we are good together. We need each other for various reasons. Erik does adore you, but much in the same way I do."

"Well...don't I feel a bit foolish now..."

"Oh no, don't Raven...please don't. Erik...he's a complex and complicated man with a complex and complicated background. He has shown me things from his past that only I know about. Things he doesn't want to share with anyone else. At least not right now. Perhaps one day he will but for now, I am the only one he is willing to share them with. It has created a bond between us that will never be broken."

Raven sat there digesting this for a couple of minutes. "You could have told me..." She finally said.

"I wanted to Raven, believe me...many times..."

Then suddnely she straightened up and looked directly at me with wide eyes. "Oh my god...when I was telling you how I felt about Erik...oh my god! Charles! How could you?! _WHY _didn't you say anything to me _THEN_?!"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you, Raven."

"You don't think that _THIS_ isn't hurting me?! _KNOWING_ that you kept this from me when I was spilling my guts to you about how I felt about Erik?!"

Now I felt horrible about having kept Erik's and my relationship a secret from Raven. I hadn't thought about how keeping it from her would make her feel.

My heart became heavy with this knowledge. "I am so sorry Raven...I never meant to hurt you in this way either..."

"Yeah...well...it's too late." Raven told me in a tone which pierced my heart further. And with these words, she got up and stalked angrily out of the room without another word, or even looking back at me. I brought my hands to my face in my anguish. I messed up with Raven and I could only hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive me one day...

Upset with the whole situation, I stayed holed up in my study, trying to figure out what went wrong...or rather where I went wrong in this. I thought I was protecting Raven...

I don't know how long I sat in my study for, but Hank was suddenly there asking, "Aren't you coming to eat Charles?"

I had completely forgotten about eating...but I shook my head, "No, not right now Hank, I'm not hungry at the moment. I'll get myself something a little bit later. The rest of you make sure you do get something though."

"Is everything alright?" Hank asked.

"Yes...don't worry about me, Hank. I'll be out in a bit."

Hank looked at me for a moment longer, then nodded and left. I wheeled myself over to a window and stared sightlessly outside. A little while later, I heard somone else enter my study.

"We missed you at supper." I heard Erik's voice.

Smililng, I turned around, "Erik...you're up. I trust you slept well?"

"Quite well yes, thank you." Erik stopped here and changed topics. "What's going on Charles? Why did you not come for supper?"

The smile left my face and I instructed Erik to close the door, which he did. He then came over to my desk and sat down on the edge of it, facing me.

"What is it?"

"It's Raven." I told him. "I really screwed up with her..."

"How so?" Erik frowned.

Sighing, I said to him, "I told her...or rather she _asked_ me about our relationship and well, I didn't want to out and out lie to her, so I told her without actually saying that we we were lovers, just explained as best as I could how close we are. But I ended up revealing enough after all...she was able to work it out for herself anyway."

"And she doesn't like the fact that we have an intimate relationship?"

"No...it's not that. She's quite angry at me for not having told her about it. I'm afraid my keeping it from her has hurt her even more than I thought it would. "

"I am sorry Charles...I'm sure she will get over it though."

"I'm not so sure. She's been angry at me before but..this is different, Erik."

Erik got off the desk, came over to me and leaning down, gently tilted my head upwards so that I was looking up at him and said confidently, "I'm sure she will come around. Just give her some time."

"But Erik...it's not only about us. It's how she feels about you. This was the biggest reason _WHY_ I didn't want to tell her about us. Because of how I knew she felt about you. I had told you when you first came here how I think her feelings for you went beyond friendship."

"Oh...I see..."

"Here I thought I was being sensitive to her feelings but it turns out I did just the opposite."

"You're heart was in the right place, Charles. But again, I'm sure that once Raven cools down, she'll come around."

"I hope you are right, Erik.."

"You two grew up together. I can't see Raven throwing it all away over this. Like I already said, just give her some time."

I now smiled up at Erik. "Thanks...I needed to hear that."

"Of course. Now...come..I'll sit with you while you eat."

I smiled at Erik again as we left my study and made our way to the kitchen. I'll admit that I still felt a bit apprehensive about running into Raven so soon after our confrontation, but as it turned out, she was nowhere to be seen herself. For now, it was probably better this way, but of course I hoped it didn't last too long...

**(Erik)**

I can barely remember much of what ended up happening the night that Emma attacked me after I initially passed out. I remember coming around again and realizing that I was still alive because of the excruciating pain I was now feeling in my abdomen, and that Charles was there talking to me. I honestly didn't think I could last much longer so was relieved to find out that he and everyone were safe and that that Emma was dead. I knew I could leave them in peace...

When I awoke in the hospital and from the surgery, I was completely disorieneted and actually wondered if I had ended up in a purgatory of some kind, having been taken back to that horrific and painful time in my past until Charles showed me that I was very much alive and in a hospital where I was being looked after. Regardless of this truth, I still hated being in there. It reminded me too much of the rooms where they had experimented on me. And because of that, I was beyond relief when I was finally released from the hospital. (Admittedly, I know I didn't make my stay easy for the staff nor even Charles-whom I was very grateful _was_ there for me, it would have been even more unbearable had he not been there-but I couldn't seem to help it either). I was getting to the point where I didn't think I would be able to take much more of it.

I was still quite sore, so I was still moving around slowly, but at least I was going home. I would be able to take it easy and relax like I am supposed to, so much better there.

It was when I had awoken from my first nap at home that I noticed Hank peeking inside from my door.

Surprised to see him lurking around my room, I sat up slowly as I called out to him from my bed, "Hey...is there something I can do for you...Hank?"

Hank entered my room rather slowly himself and almost awkwardly (was the word that came to my mind) came up to my bed.

"Sit down..." I offered, gesturing to my bed, but Hank didn't sit down. "Again, thank you Hank..." I said in hopes that this would help to both put him at ease as well as open him up. It did. But not in a way I was expecting.

"I don't deserve your thanks." He finally said rather abruptly.

Frowning, I asked baffled, "Whatever do you mean? Charles told me that you were the first one to get to me and help stop the bleeding..."

"I hesitated!" He interrupted me, growling slightly.

"What..?" I asked confused.

"I hesitated, Erik. It was Charles who first told me that I could get to you the fastest but I hesitated when he first told me to go." He replied in resignation.

"Oh..." I was still a bit confused.

"I am not proud of myself about it." Hank admitted, pausing briefly. Then looking directly at me for the first time since entering my room, he said, "You could have died and it would have been my fault. Had I hesitated only seconds longer..." His voice trailed off here.

"But you didn't..." I stated in no uncertain terms.

"That's not the point! I shouldn't have hesitated in the first place. I should have gone the second Charles told me to, no matter what. But... I...I let my emotions get in the way."

Oh...I thought to myself. Raven.

"But when I saw you lying there...that's when it really hit me just what might have happened...still _could_ happen for all I knew at that time. I was never so ashamed of myself, of my own inactions, as I was that night. So no...I don't deserve your thanks. Charles and Raven do, but I don't."

I regarded Hank thoughtfully for a few minutes before replying. "You know Hank...you and I aren't all that different from each other."

"You would have hesitated had it been me?" He guessed, looking a bit suprised.

I gave him a half-smile at his question, but shook my head, "No. I'm talking about allowing my emotions to get in the way of my better judgement. I've been known to do that as well."

Hank looked at me for several minutes before nodding his head in acknowledgement. And with that, another silent understanding had passed between the two of us before he left the room.

Now that I was awake, I was finding myself a bit hungry so I slowly got myself up out of bed and made my way to the kitchen.

I was surprised when I didn't run into Charles somewhere along the way or that he never showed up for supper. I was becoming concerned so I started looking around for him after I ate and found him in his study.

After hearing what had happened between him and Raven, I felt for him and thought that maybe I could do something to help patch things up between them. I really did believe that Raven would come around on her own, but I felt that talking with her myself in hopes to speed things along couldn't hurt.

I excused myself from Charles after he had finished eating with a promise that I would meet him for a game of chess in library shortly and made my way to Raven's room where I was sure I would find her. I knocked on her door and first heard a "Just a minute!" from her, then entered when I heard "Okay, come in."

"Oh, great. You." She greeted me when she saw me. She was sitting on her bed.

"Nice to see you again too, Raven." I responded as I closed the door behind myself then went over and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Sorry, it's just that...I'm sure I know why you are here. No doubt Charles told you everything. And just so you know, I am not angry with you Erik."

"First off, I have come on my own accord, just so you know. Charles would _never_ send someone else to do his bidding." I told her firmly.

"Yeah...you are right. He wouldn't do that." She agreed.

"And secondly, if you are going to be mad at him, then maybe you should be mad at me as well."

"Why?" She asked, her forehead puckering into a puzzled frown.

"Because he and I are in this together. And Charles _did _want to tell you...he really did. I kind of talked him out of it because, well in this case it wasn't just you. It was Hank, Alex and Sean as well and whether we should tell any of you. I just didn't know how all of you would react to it...especially as Charles and myself had taken opposite sides at the time. The whole thing could have come off as looking quite...bizarre to all of you. We just didn't know at the time how it would all go over with you four."

"Is that all he told you?"

I studied Raven for a moment and decided to be honest with her. "He did tell me when you and I first got here, to be careful with you because he thought that your feelings for me might go beyond friendship." Raven gasped at this, but I continued on "He had figured it out not long after we arrived. Do your feelings for me go beyond friendship, Raven?" I asked her gently.

She closed her eyes and I could tell that she felt uncomfortable with having been found out.

"I _do_ adore you Raven...and I would do anything to protect you, very much like Charles would. I was telling you the truth when I said that you are an exquisite creature and that you are perfection just the way you are. But..." I paused here while I sought for the right words. "You are young and still relatively innocent whereas I am older and...well...I have a lot of baggage Raven and bringing you into a relationship with me and it, would not be fair to you."

"Are you saying that I wouldn't be able to handle it?" She asked defensively.

"Oh, I have no doubt that you would be able to handle it. No doubt at all..."

"Then because he's male and older." She spat out, angrily.

"No. Not at all." I shook my head, firmly denying it. "Because he _knew_ all...or almost all about me, the moment we met. And he knows things now that I never thought I would ever tell him or anyone. He has been helping me deal with this "baggage" of mine which has made me understand that I _need_ someone like Charles who can help me with it. And I _need_ you to understand that. He and I have reached the point of no return in our relationship." I added softly.

Raven didn't say anything, but seemed to be thinking about what I had told her.

"Please Raven...Charles feels terrible about keeping this from you and he is very upset. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. He thought he was protecting you..."

"Then he's still treating me like a child!"

"_NO_...he's treating you like his younger sister whom he loves and cares for very much. Consider yourself lucky. I never had anyone..."

Raven was taken aback by my statement.

"Please go to him Raven and forgive him." I now said gently. "You must know that he would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. He loves you..."

I watched as she closed her eyes and a couple of tears slid down her cheeks.

"This whole situation of ours...is new to him..." I added.

Raven slowly nodded her head in acknowledgement. Relieved, I got up and went to leave as I knew she would still need some time to think things through, but before I got to her door, I turned and said, "Don't do it for me, but for Charles...and yourself. And _your _relationship with one another." I gave her one last serious look before opening the door and leaving, knowing I couldn't do any more, then went off to play a game of chess with Charles.

**(Charles)**

Playing chess helped to make me feel better about what had happened between myself and Raven, even though I knew the problem would still be there when we were done.

As was our usual routine, Erik and myself had a drink following our game, but I was surprised when we were interrupted by Raven during this time.

"Uh...mind if I talk to you Charles?" She said almost timidly upon entering the library.

"Of course not Raven..." I answered, happy that she seemed to civil towards me once again.

"I'll go, you stay here Raven." Erik offered as he slowly stood up, then left the room.

Raven came over and sat down on the edge of the chair where Erik had been sitting, seeming a bit nervous . "Charles...I am sorry for the way I behaved earlier. I know you meant well by not telling me...it's just that...I guess I still felt like you were treating me like a child by doing that. Or that you couldn't trust me...but I know that's not the case. I realized afterwards that you were trying to protect my _feelings_ as opposed to _me_. And there is a difference, I know."

"This is the first time that you and I have ever had to deal with a relationship situation. And...well at one time in my life I definitely never thought that we would end up liking the same person of course." I smiled over at her, then became serious. "Raven...this whole situation with Erik...is very new to me. It was the last thing I ever expected. But now...and as odd as I have no doubt it must seem to you, we do seem to belong together. And... I won't expect you to accept it right away and that is fair, but in time I hope you can and will."

"Well...I never expected that my 'brother' would end up being my competition..." She said almost jokingly, "But...I have seen for myself just how close the two of you are. And the two of you do make two great 'team leaders' for the rest of us, without a doubt. I won't deny that it will probably take some time for me to adjust to the whole idea of the two of you...but I will. I'm sure I will...I'm determined to. Like you said, you are good for each other. I can see that now..."

"Thanks Raven..." My reply was heartfelt, as she came over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Do you think we should tell the boys?" I asked her.

"What are you kidding me?! No way should you tell them!" She exclaimed, then went on. "At least...maybe not quite yet. Not until they have matured some. Although I think you could probably tell Hank..." She remarked as we smiled at each other. That actually might not be a bad idea, telling Hank. It should prove to him for once and for all that he has nothing to worry about with Erik and Raven at least..

I was a very happy and contented person when I went to bed with Erik in his room that night. It was so good to be lying beside him once again and with no worries for a change. But I had one more thing I needed to address with him...

"Erik..." I started as I lay with my head on his chest, his arms encircling me. "When are you going to let go of the guilt you have been feeling about what happened to me that day on the beach?"

Erik was silent for several mintues but I didn't interrupt his thoughts. Finally he said quietly, "I don't know Charles...I honestly don't know if I can...or...maybe even if I want to..."

"What do you mean by _not wanting_ to let it go? Erik, I forgave you a long time ago for it!"

"I know you did Charles...but perhaps I feel like I don't deserve to be forgiven..."

"Don't deserve...! Listen...I _don't_ want you doing _anything_ for me out of guilt! I _want_ you to do anything you do for me out of love...for me. Don't you see Erik? If you continue wanting to feel guilty, then I will always wonder if you are doing everything for me out of guilt and pity and I _DON'T_ want that from _anyone, _but most _especially _I _don't_ want that from you. Because then that tells me that you don't really love me..."

Erik didn't reply again for several minutes. "First off, anything I do for you I _do _out of love for you Charles...but...I admit that I never thought about it like that...and yes...at first, I did do some things out of guilt and pity as well as out of love for you. But I assure you that it is all out of love for you now."

"Then _stop_ feeling guilty. Please...for me. It isn't doing you or me any good."

Even in the dark I could tell that he was nodding his head as he agreed. I sighed inaudibly with relief.

Then as we weren't able to make love yet because of Erik's stitches we did share several passionate kisses until we realized we had to stop before we went beyond what Erik should do at this stage of his recovery. But there were plenty of nights ahead of us in which we could and undoutedly would continue to show our love for one another...


	22. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

**(Charles)**

There was something I wanted to do once Erik had his stitches removed and he had fully recovered from his injury...and while calm and peace had been restored to our place for us. So one evening while Erik and myself were having a drink before retiring to bed, apprenhensive but determined, I brought my idea up to Erik. I say "apprehensive" because I already knew how Erik would feel about it, even without reading his mind but it really is for the best for him. I only hope that I am able to convince him of that and without using my 'powers of persuasion' to do so. I want him to do this for himself.

"Erik..." I started.

"Yes?" He replied, smiling over his drink at me.

"There is something that I want us to do..."

"Oh? And what might that be?" He asked rather suggestively.

Taking a deep breath and licking my lips, I replied straight out, "I want us to take a trip to Poland."

The smile on Erik's face froze and he was unable to speak for several seconds. It was obvious to me that he felt he hadn't heard me right. Then his smile was replaced by a look of incredulity. "_What?_" Was his understandably shocked reply when he finally found his voice.

"I want us to go to Poland..."

"Whatever for?!"

"Because I think it's time that you face the rest of your past."

Again Erik didn't reply right away. He was having a hard time digesting what I told him, I could tell. Not knowing if this was a good time to let him know or not, I quickly went on, "I've already gone ahead and made arrangements."

"You _WHAT?!_" Erik was stricken. "_Charles!_" He exclaimed, his face contorting with several emotions. "How _could_ you go ahead and do this without consulting me first?!"

"I did so because I _knew_ that you would say 'no'." I told him calmly. "And I really think you need to do this...and to do this for yourself. I think it is very important."

With his shoulders now slumping, Erik leaned forward and resting his elbows on his knees he brought his hands to his face.

Now that we were over the initial part of this, I wheeled myself over to him, put a gentle hand on his arm and caressed it softly. "Erik, I really think you should do this." I repeated.

"You actually _WANT_ me to go back and face those horrors!" He exclaimed in disbelief, his head snapping up, his eyes ablaze as he stared at me.

"Yes...I do..." I told him quietly.

"And what would you do if I told you 'No Charles, I _refuse _to go and do that?!' Oh wait. Of course. You would just use your persuasion powers on me." Erik answered his own question sarcastically. "I have no choice!"

I looked at Erik, shaking my head unhappily. "I would _NEVER_ make you do this, Erik... I could yes, but I won't. I want you to do this on your own."

Erik was silent for a moment before saying in a more subdued tone, "Charles...I don't...I don't think I can..."

"And I _do_ think you can...no, I _KNOW_ you can." I encouraged him, leaning forward and looking up into his face.

"How can I?" He whispered.

Taking both of Erik's hands into my own and looking directly into his eyes, I told him confidently. "You can because you are strong, Erik."

"I don't think I'm as strong as you think I am, Charles." He contradicted.

"And I believe that you are. Do you trust me, Erik?"

"Of course I do."

"Then please trust me now...with this." I told him. "Of course it won't be easy. There is no denying that. It _will _difficult. It _will _be emotional and exhausting. But in the end, it _will_ be the best thing you can do for yourself. You will finally have closure after all of these years. And I'll be right there beside you...every step of the way. I promise..." My reply was heartfelt.

"When...?"

"The end of the week..."

"So soon?! Jesus Charles at least you could have prepared me, given me more time to think about this!" He exploded, clearly dismayed.

"Do you really think that would have been wise, Erik? It would have just given you more time to worry and get even more worked up about it, I think. The sooner we go over there and do this, the sooner we can be done and the better for you."

Erik sighed in resignation. "I want to say that you are wrong about going sooner but in my heart, I know you are right..."

"I know it's not easy and not going to be easy for you Erik. And I know it's hard to understand now, but the way you are going to feel afterwards...it will go beyond description because you haven't felt like it since before it all happened...and that was a long time ago. Too long ago.." I told him softly.

"And...if it doesn't...'go beyond description'?" He asked pessimistically.

"There is no such word as 'if' in this as far as I am concerned." I told him with a confident smile. " BUT..._IF_ it doesn't...we speak no more about it You went and you tried. I can't and won't ask more from you about it."

"What about the kids?" He asked suddenly switching topics, causing me to realize immediately that this was a desperate attempt to come up with an excuse to cancel or at least postpone the trip.

"They will stay here this time. Moira, along with some help from some of the CIA agents have promised to keep an eye on them for us. Everyone will have everyone's contact numbers and this includes ours, although I don't expect anything to happen while we are away this time. I feel that they are quite safe here now, with the agents keeping an eye on them."

Erik returned my gaze for several seconds before saying with a bit of a bite in his tone, "Fine. Let's go there and get this over and done with then."

Of course I would have preferred it if Erik had shown even a little more positive of an outlook about the whole thing but then this was pretty much the reaction I was expecting from him. Anything more would have been suprising in all honesty.

We finished our drinks, then headed off to my room now as it had finally been restored. Our 'secret' room had only sustained minimal damage to the wall that shares both our room and my room as the fire had been contained to my room and thanks to a heavily paneled wall as well. In having to get a new bedroom suite, I also managed to bring in a real bed for our room to replace the hide-a-bed we had used, which turned out to be easier than I was anticipating as the others hadn't been that interested in the new furnishings of my room and therefore didn't pay much if any attention when they were brought in. Except for Raven who only raised an eyebrow when she noticed a second bed being brought into the house, but didn't otherwise say a word...most likely because she didn't want to know the answer. (I also noticed that she had made herself scarce after seeing the second bed). Erik and I agreed that we would only use our room for the nights we make love, otherwise we would sleep in my room. The reason being was that I personally felt better if we used my room those nights, given everything that had happened since Erik and Raven rejoined us.

My room was ready before Erik had completely healed but I smile as I remember the night we first made love since before the night we nearly lost him. We had gotten ready for bed as usual, but instead of coming to bed, Erik opened the concealed door to our room, came over to my side of the bed and scooped me up into his arms before I even realized what was going on.

"Erik! What are you doing?!" I exclaimed in surprise, automatically throwing my arms around his neck to secure myself to him.

For an answer, he carried me through the door, shut it with his foot, carried me over to our new bed, first laying me gently down upon it, then laying himself down beside me.

"Are you sure you are ready?" I asked him softly.

"More than sure.." He had replied smiling at me, placing a hand on one of my cheeks and caressing it with his thumb.

"Maybe you should go easy..." I suggested concerned for Erik's first 'post-injury' time.

But Erik only smiled as he shook his head slowly at me.

"I don't want you to re-injure yourself in any way..."

"I'm fine Charles...really I am..."

I knew better than to argue with him even though I couldn't help but be a little concerned. But then all of my worries for Erik disappeared as I lost myself to him when I felt his lips on mine, then softly caressing my face, neck, then down onto my chest...my hands running through his hair...

The first time we had made love was in this room and it had been nothing short of amazing. This time was what I have come to think of as one of the sweetest, most beautiful times as it was the first time after he nearly died...

I brought myself back to the present as we got into my bed. But Erik didn't settle in. Instead, he stayed sitting up on the edge of his side of the bed with his back to me.

"Erik? Are you alright?" I asked him.

He turned his head towards my voice before nodding his head slightly. "Yeah.."

I knew there was a battle of emotions raging inside of him about me and about this trip. I pulled my body over to his, then sitting up behind him, I put my hands on his back and started caressing him. At one point, I reached up and placed my hands on the back of his neck and shoulders. "You are quite tense..." I told him. I felt horrible now. Perhaps it would have been better if I had waited until morning before I sprung my idea on him. I gently massaged his neck, shoulders and back. He sat there not moving while I did so. I was grateful that he hadn't pulled away from me. After awhile, encircling his body with my arms, I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his back for a few minutes. I felt like I should be apologizing to him for this, but I also knew I had to dig my heels in about it because I firmly believed it was what he needed to do, no matter how he was feeling about it right now. When I felt him moving, I moved back to make room for him so that he could climb into bed. Neither of us spoke and at first he lay on his side with his back to me. It saddened me, but I accepted and respected that he needed his space to think right now. Later on though, I admit that I felt relieved when he finally turned over and held me after all until we fell asleep...

"You know what else you could do while we are in Poland, Erik..." I said to him while we were getting dressed the next morning. I noticed that Erik flinched slightly when I mentioned going to Poland.

"What...?" He asked rather reluctantly.

"You...we could pay our respects to your parents while we are there."

Now Erik quickly looked over at me. "What?! And just _HOW_ do you think we could do _that_ Charles?!" He asked sharply. "God only knows what Shaw did with my mother's body..." He visibly recoiled in pain, anger and disgust at this thought. "And my father...my father was most likely incinerated." He finished his voice full of emotion.

"Yes...I do realize that, Erik." I told him gently. "It really is not right that there is no proper burial place for either of them but there have been memorials erected, I am sure. And just being there where it happened would be enough, I think."

Erik didn't reply but rubbed his face with his hands. I felt his pain and it was hard for me to see him like this, but I was determined that he should see this through. For himself. This is when I came up with another idea that I hoped might help Erik with his healing. But I wouldn't say anything to him until I knew for sure...

And...after spending a few days getting ready for this trip, Erik and I were now in Poland looking down the road towards the old buildings that had been part of the notorious camps from his past...the buildings of the concentration camps where Erik and his parents had been taken to and separated. I had done some research in the days before we were to leave and had found out that these old buildings of both of the Auschwitz camps had been turned into a "memorial museum" not long after the end of World War II to honour the victims of the camps. Of course much had changed since then and nature had been kind in it's restoration of the area. But regardless of that, there was still an overwhelming feeling of oppression about the place that even I picked up on, even without being any closer to the buildings than we were.

I heard Erik let out a slow breath. I looked up at him to see that he was taking in all of the surroundings, with a slightly puckered forehead. He looked pale and was trembling slightly. I felt for him, as I had since I brought this idea up to him. Still, he was here, we were here. That was something. But it had by no means been easy for him. It had been very emotional for him from the beginning. Even I was starting to feel emotionally drained because of what he was going through.

"I...I can't go any further Charles...I can't go..." He paused to swallow "...there." He said, meaning the building. "I can't go inside...please...don't make me." He pleaded in a whisper, his bottom lip trembling.

"It's okay Erik. You are doing very well and have been doing very well. You don't need to go any further if you don't want to. I won't ask any more of you than this."

The relief on Erik's face was very evident. He was already emotionally exhausted from everything since I told him about the trip. He never had any proper rest-neither of us actually-since that night...and the getting ready, the long flight...and now...just being here. The eerily powerful feeling here...it was all worse for Erik of course.

When we returned to our hotel room, Erik immediately collapsed onto the bed, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

While he rested, I spent the time finding out about the other memorials in the area. I ended up learning that monuments had been erected at each camp in honour of the victims. I also learned where they were so that we could visit the ones within the area of where we were, the next day. Once this task was done and rather exhausted myself, I joined Erik on the bed..

The next day, I told my idea to Erik about buying a wreath, a bouquet of flowers as well as some candles for each place we would visit, as we made our way to a shop in which we could purchase such items.

"This is one way in which people pay their respects for loved ones or even those whom they don't know, but just want to pay their respects." I told him when he gave me a baffled look.

"The wreath is for your father, the bouquet of flowers for your mother and two of the candles for each of your parents, which we will light when we lay them at the monument." I explained to him.

"My mother didn't die in the camp though..." He reminded me, frowning.

"It doesn't matter as far as I'm concerned." I told him shaking my head. "She should be honoured along with your father." I told him adamantly.

Erik shook his head slowly as he replied, his voice full of emotion. "You never cease to amaze me Charles Xavier..."

I smiled tenderly up at him. "Oh and here..." I handed Erik a permanent black marker which I had also bought along with the rest.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"For you to put either 'Mother' and 'Father' or your parents names or both, whichever way you want to do it, on each of the glass candle holders." I explained to him.

Erik couldn't say anything, but after a moment, he took the pen from me and wrote both on each. I smiled while he was doing this.

"What are the rest of the candles for?" He now asked after finishing.

"One more for the victims of Auschwitz and the rest are for leaving at the other monuments in the area that we will visit, in honour of any other family members and friends of yours whom might have been there. As well as the rest of the victims."

Erik could only shake his head slowly at me.

"Let's get started then, shall we?"

This meant that we had to return to where the Memorial Museum was for Erik's parents and this time get closer to the building, but I was proud of Erik. It was still hard for him of that there was no doubt, but I could tell that he was determined to do this for his parents.

We went right up to the momument and without any words, Erik gently placed both the wreath and bouquet of flowers in front of the monument, beside each other. Then lighting each candle he placed the one he labelled for his father in front of the wreath and the one for his mother in front of the flowers. Slowly, he stepped back until he was beside me. I looked up and noticed his face working with emotion.

Not wanting to speak, but wanting to encourage him, I communicated to him, _"It's alright Erik...don't be afraid to feel these kinds of emotions...don't be afraid to express them or show them...don't be afraid to let your feelings go..." _

"I thought you weren't going to get inside my head, Charles.." He spoke in a low voice.

"I wasn't going to interfere with getting you here. I wanted that all to be you. I am only encouraging you to be open with your emotions.." I replied quietly. _"It's okay..."_

Erik swallowed as he closed his eyes and I saw a tear at the corner of the one. "I didn't think that doing this was going to be this hard..." His voice cracked as he spoke.

I reached up and gently placed a hand on his arm but didn't say anything. Suddenly Erik dropped to his knees beside me. It startled me at first because I thought that he had collapsed. But then he went on. "This kind of makes it all real..." He went on, his voice full of pain. "I didn't realize until I got here...there has never been a doubt that my mother is gone as I was there when it happened...but I had held onto the hope that my father had survived after all...that all of this had been a terrible nightmare...but I know that's not true...and my father...he is gone..."

I now put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but remained silent. Erik's shoulder's slumped forward as he put his hands to his face. _"It's alright Erik...let it out..." _I encouraged him once more. And this time, he broke down. I gently rubbed his neck and shoulder, allowing him these moments he needed and had been needing for a long time.

A while later, Erik finally stood up. "I...I know you won't believe what I am about to tell you but...I...I don't feel right leaving...them..." He said to me.

"We can come back anytime you want to Erik." I promised him. "We can bring a fresh wreath, fresh flowers and light more candles for them. You just say the word and we will make arrangements to come back and do this again."

Erik gazed down at me, then with a small smile slowly nodded his head.

We lit a third candle and placed it near where Erik had placed his parents candles then after several more minutes we left Auschwitz and made a few other stops to pay our respects as well with the rest of the candles.

Now that Erik had faced his past, I wanted to do something more pleasant while we were here so that Erik could leave with better memories than he had the last time he had left.

"I want to see some more of your home country Erik. So far, I have found it to be quite beautiful. Please take me on a bit of a tour of this magnificent scenery." I instructed him.

Erik was surprised by my request, but obliged me and this was how we spent the afternoon, touring around the countryside. I think even he was starting to see...or perhaps remember the beauty of Poland which pleased me. I wanted him to start feeling better about his home country..

"I am so proud of you Erik.." I told him later that night, lying with my head on his chest in bed. "I know how incredibly difficult coming here and re-visiting your past was for you, and I know how much you really didn't want to do it. It would have been easier for you not come back here at all."

With his arms wrapped around me, one caressing my arm, he tenderly kissed the top of my head, then lightly teasing me he said, "You know...I'm beginning to hate that you are right all of the time."

I looked up at him. "I am not right all of the time, Erik. I make mistakes too." I said seriously. "I especially never know if I am right when it involves you. I feel I take a chance every time with you..."

"I'm glad you were right this time." Erik said softly gazing down at me . "I'm glad for every time you were right...and are right..." then he gently lifted my chin as he brought his lips down to mine...

**(Erik)**

I was absolutely stunned when Charles had told me that he wanted us to go go Poland. Too stunned to speak at first and then I was livid! How could he possibly think that I ever would...ever _COULD_ return there?! And to face all of those horrors?!

I hated being angry with Charles, but I felt he had gone too far this time. To _NOT_ even consult me first about it! But then...I know he is right. There is no denying that I would have flat out refused to make the trip had he asked me...the emotions I am feeling towards Charles and everything are all over the place right now. I can't seem to focus on anything. And because of that, I haven't been able to get any proper sleep...the nights are the worst because it's too quiet...too devoid of any activity as there is nothing going on to distract me from my thoughts...and my thoughts...they won't leave me alone. I get up at least once every night because I need a cigarette.

I do realize that Charles feels bad, but I also know that he is determined that we should go. I know there is no way out...well, I suppose there are ways but I also know that Charles will just made arrangements for us for another time. No, better to just get this over and done with now, like he said...

I cannot describe the range of emotions that I felt at seeing the buildings at Auschwitz again. The image from my past had been burned into my brain...and had been part of many, many nightmares I have had over the years. And just when the nightmares had started to subside-since meeting Charles to be exact-I now find myself physically facing it.

The place...brought back so much fear...and pain for me...the overall feeling of the place was so overwhelming that I started to feel nauseous to the point that I was sure I was going to vomit right there where we were. I fought the feeling and was finally rewarded when it left me after I told to Charles that I couldn't go any further..

Charles's idea to honour my parents with the wreath, flowers and candles was a beautiful one. I knew this meant that we would have to return to Auschwitz, but I was determined to in order to do this for them as _this _was something that I _did_ want to do. I was however, unprepared for the powerful feelings that this seemingly simple task would bring to me. Charles knew...he understood even better than I did myself...and once I had laid the wreath, flowers and lit the candles, I suddenly and mysteriously felt like I had somehow made a connection with my parents. And because of that, I felt like I couldn't leave them. That if I did, I would somehow lose them all over again. But Charles assured me that we can come back anytime I wanted to, and repeat this gesture to my parents. That was when I realized that even if I left them now, I would 'find' them again every time I returned, no matter when that might be. And I also knew that I could leave Auschwitz now in peace. Peace and...freedom. A freedom like I had never felt before in my life. Or at least not since before the camps. A freedom in my heart, my mind and even my very soul...

Charles continued to surprise me with wanting to see more of the Polish countryside. I admit to being reluctant to go along with this at first, but the more I saw Charles openly admiring and enjoying the scenery, the more my own eyes were opened once again to the beauty of my native country. And the more I realized that I still did love it, even if I wasn't living there anymore.

By the end of all of this, I was realizing just how right (once again) Charles was. As hard as all of this had been for me, it was also the best thing I could have done for myself. I do plan on returning to Poland again, in fact I hope to several times throughout my life. And Charles will be with me, by my side every time I do.


	23. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

**(Charles)**

I couldn't help but chuckle at Erik as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open when we entered our room. Not just a room, but a suite. A suite with a lounge, kitchen and dining area aside from the bedroom and bathroom, as well as a private terrace. Instead of going straight home, I had booked one of the best suites at the best hotel in Athens Greece for us.

Before we left Poland and at Erik's request, we bought two more candles and made one last visit to Auschwitz where we lit the two candles for his parents and spent one last time in remembrance of them. I was very proud of Erik for being the one to instigate this. It was of course still emotional for him but I could also see that it was getting to be a little better for him. I reminded him that we could come back at anytime he wanted to...

"Okay." He now said to me when he finally found his voice. "You told me not to ask you any questions at the airport in Poland when you had to tell me that we weren't going home yet and I didn't. You told me not to ask you anything while we were on the plane coming here and I didn't. You said you would tell me when we got here, so...what is this all about Charles? Why are we here?"

"Why don't you sit down first." I suggested, not able to keep the smile off of my face as we entered our suite.

Erik walked over to one of the chairs in the lounge area and sat down. I wheeled up in front of him, leaned forward placing my hands on his waist and looking him straight in his eyes, I replied. "We are here for a few reasons, but mostly for you, and most especially after all you have gone through lately."

"Ah...I see. So this is my 'reward' for going to Poland with you." He replied, reciprocating my gesture by placing his own arms around my waist.

"I wouldn't call it a 'reward' because as far as I'm concerned your 'reward' for going to Poland and facing your past is the inner peace you have gained." I told him in no uncertain terms. "But it was an incredibly difficult journey for you to make, I know. So this is my way of showing you how proud I am of you for doing it. But this isn't only about that. It's also because you nearly died when you faced Emma and helped to save the rest of us in the process. She may have only been one person, but I think it would have been quite easy for her to take the rest of us out had it not been for you.

But also...this is for us...you and me. Remember after we returned from Russia and you said you wanted to 'romance' me and you 'gave' me that day? And I said that I would have to do the same for you one day too? This is my turn to 'romance' you. We are here for us...to do as we please...drink fine wine, eat fine Greek food, sight-see...there's a lot of Greek history of course, or whatever you want. This is about having some time for us to enjoy being together and _not_ worry about anything or anyone else. As you can see, we even have a private terrace where we can eat breakfast or whichever meal and in our bathrobes if you want." I added with a smile, recalling how we had eaten on my terrace in our bathrobes that day. "Because much like you had pointed out after we returned from Russia, once we get back home, who knows when we are going to get another opportunity to do something like this for ourselves as we don't get very much of a chance to be alone and spend some time alone, and most especially like this. I figured as we were going to be over in this part of the world for a few days why not take a few extra days in another country? I decided on Greece because it's really not too far away from Poland by plane and because of it's warmer, sunnier climate which I thought we both might enjoy."

"Wow..." Erik replied shaking his head slowly. Then not knowing what else to say, he leaned further towards me, we kissed, then he hugged me.

When we broke apart, he said slightly joking, "I don't know that I am going to be able to 'top' this Charles."

"I don't want you to 'top it', Erik." I replied seriously. "What you gave me was _very_ special because you thought of it and it came from your heart. That means more than anything to me. Don't ever change doing things from your heart. Like I said, I had thought of this idea because I knew we were going to be over here and I felt that you deserved it for all you have gone through lately. And who knows when we will have another chance after we get home. We can't very well kick the kids out everytime we want some time for ourselves of course, so I thought to do this while we were away this time, which is another thing that doesn't happen very often...that whenever we are travelling somewhere, we can take some time just for ourselves."

Erik leaned towards me again and again we kissed...

We spent our days in Greece doing pretty much what I had suggested to Erik. We took in some of the finest restaurants, enjoying the wonderful local cuisine and wine, we saw some of the historical sites, went for walks, and enjoyed all of this just being in each others company.

On our last day, we ended up doing something neither of us hadn't originally thought of...we found ourselves at one of the nearby beaches in the afternoon. Naturally, a wheelchair can be rather hard to push in the sand, but using his power, Erik was able to move my chair with ease. I told him that maybe he should at least make it look like he is pushing me in order to not attract any more attention than we might, which he did. Perhaps fortunately for us, the beach was not very busy. We went close to the water's edge where Erik fell down onto the sand beside me and stared out towards the sea.

Then he closed his eyes and breathed in. "Isn't this peaceful?"

Looking down on him, I smiled as I replied, "It sure is.."

Neither of us spoke for the first little bit, instead we just enjoyed our surroundings. Suddenly I smiled again and looked down at Erik, "Well...go on Erik...you know you want to..."

"Charles!" He reprimanded me.

"I don't need to be able to read your mind to know that you want to, Erik!" I laughed. "Go on!"

He looked at me with a half smile of his own coming to his face. "You're sure?"

"Yes!" I encouraged him. "Go ahead! I'll be fine." I assured him.

Erik jumped to his feet, took off his shoes and socks, rolled up the legs of his trousers as high as he could and with one more look at me, jogged off towards the water when he saw me encourage him with a nod my head. I continued to grin as I watched him walk into the water, at first just wading. Then he went in a little further, wading deeper until the water was touching the bottom of his rolled up trouser legs. Erik kept looking back at me every time he waded in a little further. Then the water was up to his thighs, then his waist, obviously deciding not to worry about his clothing after all. He now dove into the water, coming up soaking wet not too far from where he dove, laughing. I laughed along with him as I watched him, continuing to jump, dive and romp around in the water much like a young child at play.

After a bit he came out dripping wet. We hadn't thought to bring towels but it was definitely warm enough that he would be able to dry off in the sun. He came over, dropping down onto the sand beside me, rather out of breath.

"That felt so good." He remarked.

"I can tell..." I remarked in delight for him.

Now he lay down, stretched out, regardless of getting sand on his clothes and in his hair. Several minutes later, he looked up at me squinting because of the sun, with a pensive expression on his face. Then he sat up still looking thoughtful. He took off his shirt and hung it on the back of my chair, then without saying anything, he took off my own socks and shoes.

"What are you doing, Erik?" I frowned slightly, puzzled.

For an answer, he got back to his feet and without warning, scooped me up in his arms and started carrying me towards the water.

"Erik! What are you doing?!" I repeated, this time exclaiming in my surprise. "People are going to see..!"

"So what! Let them look! What am I doing? Merely helping a friend down to the water's edge so he can enjoy the ocean with me too..." His words touched my heart.

When we reached the shoreline, Erik waded in up to his ankles before setting me down into the water, then sat down beside me, the water coming up over our thighs. I couldn't deny that the cool water felt good on the part of my body that still have feeling. We sat there side by side for a bit then using his hands, Erik scooped some water and threw it playfully at my chest taking me by surprise.

"_Erik_!" I exclaimed, 'returning the favour' by throwing water back at him. Of course I was at more of a disadvantage because he was already wet.

"What? I was just thinking that maybe you should get all wet too, like me. Here. Let's do it this way instead. Lean back." He instructed me.

"_What?"_

"Lean back on the water using your hands and arms for support and just let the back of your head get wet." He told me and then lay back himself. I followed suit.

After a few mintues of this, Erik suggested we move back to the shoreline so that we could actually lie down, half in and half out of the ocean and just allow the water to lap up over our part of our bodies which I had to admit was really quite soothing. After lying side by side like this for a bit, I felt Erik's hand find mine, then felt his fingers entwine with my own. I looked over at him in surprise at this public display of affection from him.

"I don't care." He said staunchly without me having to say anything, then turned his head and looked back over at me.. "We're leaving soon anyway."

I realized then that he was right. And as time went on, there was less and less people at the beach, but there was no real worry as we weren't hurting anyone with our actions. Anyone who was there, either didn't see, notice us or didn't care, for which we were grateful. No one bothered with us.

We stayed there until hunger started setting in and then regrettably, we made our way back to our suite. Needing to clean off both sand and sea water, Erik filled the tub, helped undress me, set me down in it and then climbed in beside me as this tub was more spacious than the one at home. We first helped to wash each other and once that was done, we reclined on our sides facing each other, our hunger forgotten about for the time. Instead, we lay there soaking for awhile longer, each of us gently caressing the other, our bodies touching.

"This is something I could get used to..." Erik admitted at one point, "A bathtub this size. It's nice that we can lay side by side, facing each other like this in this one. It's too bad we don't have one like this at home."

"Maybe one like this could be arranged..." I told him with a smile.

When we finally emerged from the bathtub, a little more than water logged now, we decided that as it was our last day...our last night in Greece, that we didn't want to eat out, but would eat in our room...not just in our room, but our bed to be exact. We ordered room service and Erik answered the door in his bathrobe when it arrived, while I waited out of sight on the bed in the bedroom. Erik immediately tossed his robe aside as soon as he set down our food, then joined me on the bed where we sat casually, enjoying the food, wine and laughing, even occassionally feeding each other.

After our feast, we both stretched out on the bed after Erik cleared everything off of it. Eventually, after gathering me in his ams, I gently traced the light scar that Erik would now forever bear on his abdomen.

"My first battle scar..." He stated almost proudly, "I expect there will be several more that will join that one before my life is through."

I quickly looked up at Erik, my expression clouding in concern. "Don't talk like that Erik...I don't like thinking of you getting hurt." I told him quietly. "And don't say that you are too stubborn to die. This time...this time you almost _DID_ die! And I didn't know for awhile if you were going to make it or not...it was horrible. I don't ever want to go through that again!" My voice cracked with emotion in remembrance.

"Maybe I'm more like the proverbial cat...you know, with nine lives. How many lives does this make it now that I have left? 7 or 8...?"

"Erik, stop! That's not funny!"

Erik was silent for several minutes. "I'm sorry..." He said quietly. "I honestly don't know why I joke like that when talking about my own mortality. But I can see that it upsets you...more than I realized." Lightly, he kissed the top of my head, then went on softly. "I really am sorry.." I could tell that is reply was heart-felt. But this conversation also reminded me of something I hadn't spoken with him about yet...

"If only you hadn't worn your helmet..."

Erik kept silent.

"Erik..." I said looking up into his eyes. "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again! Don't you ever wear your helmet _against_ me again! Please promise me!" I pleaded.

"_Against_ you! No Charles, it wasn't _against_ you, it was _for_ you..."

"How do you figure that, Erik? By using your helmet I didn't know where you were or what was happening to you! I was beside myself with worry for you! If I had known where you were and what was happening sooner, I could have gathered the others and we could have done something to stop Emma _before_ she had hurt you!"

"My original thought was that I was protecting you from harm. Plus as it was only Emma, I really thought I could handle her on my own. _I_ was the reason why she was after me...us, Charles..."

"So because of that you thought you should be the one to 'take care of her'. Without any help from us." I stated. "I understand that Erik, really I do but in the end it almost cost you your life! And that is just **_not_** acceptable to me. Not like that! We are in this together! You may not have heard me or remember me saying this to you that night Emma attacked you but I don't want to live in a world without you, Erik. If I had lost you that night, I honestly don't know that I could have gone on. When I thought I _had_ 'lost' you that day on the beach, it was hard enough for me then. But this...I know that part of me would have died along with you had you died..."

Again Erik was silent for a moment, his face working with a variety of the emotions he was feeling. Then holding me a little bit tighter, he finally said quietly "I guess I never thought how selfish of an act it really was."

"You complete me Erik...in so many ways. Emotionally, physically, sexaully...I have never had that before in my life until I met you. I honestly don't know that anyone else could ever give me what you have given me. You are the best partner that I could ever ask for, in so many ways. And I want us to always be together, side by side. Raven told me that night she found out about us that, and I quote, 'the two of you do make two great 'team leaders' for the rest of us.' And 'you are good for each other. I can see that now.' She was right of course. We are too much a part of each other now, you and I..."

"I feel the same way about you Charles...I have never had...never allowed myself to become this involved with anyone before. I was a loner for so long...it was always about me and my own survival." Erik paused here for a few minutes. "This journey you have brought me on...not the physical journey to Poland but this... 'life journey' since the night I met you...it has been...truly amazing..." Erik paused again before continuing on softly. "I have never said this to anyone...I never thought I would or could... and I have not said it to you...until now. But...I do love you Charles..."

I recalled the night I heard Erik whisper the words to me so quietly, I was sure I wasn't meant to hear them then so I gave no indication that I had. But I had kept them close to my heart and treasured them nonetheless. And now...to hear him say them out-loud to me was beyond description.

"And I love you too, Erik..." I replied my eyes getting misty and my voice becoming emotional with our first spoken declarations of love for one another.

And with this affirmation of our love, our bodies entwined and rejoined to become one once again in another incredible explosion of pure ecstacy...

"You are so beautiful, Charles..." Erik whispered afterwards to me, holding me close and caressing me...this time I knew he meant for me to hear.

"You are beautiful too, Erik..." I whispered back, reciprocating with my own caresses over his body.

Erik was silent for a moment before saying very softly, "Sometimes...I don't feel very beautiful..."

I stopped Erik's words here by placing a couple of my fingers on his lips and repeated gently but firmly, "You ARE beautiful...and you prove it to me every day." I added reminding him of an earlier declaration.

Now he gave me a look of mixed emotions as he took my hand in his, brought it back to his lips and kissed it. It is still hard for Erik to accept compliments, but I knew he was trying and he was getting better at it...

In a few hours we would have to give up our suite and would be on our way back home. But we both had come up with the idea that we would book this same suite everytime we come over to visit Auschwitz.

I know Erik and myself still have our differences but it continues to be my hope that we can still work side by side through them...that they won't get in the way of our relationship as it continues to grow and grow strong...

**(Erik)**

Charles's surprise trip to Greece for me...for us, was so completely unexpected. Then again, I should be used to Charles doing things like this...but for some reason...I'm not. I was so touched when he had explained the reason for it...

When he told me that I completed him...that I was the best partner he could ever ask for...I wasn't lying when I said that I felt the same way about him. I do know in my heart that we are right for each other...that we seem to belong together.

When I had told Raven that I needed someone like Charles...I wasn't lying then either. I never thought it was at all possible that I would find someone like Charles who seems to have been so perfectly matched for me. Well, almost perfectly. I know we still have some issues between us, but they seem so small in comparison to how well everything else seems to be working for us.

I don't know what lies ahead for Charles and myself, but maybe that is a good thing. I only know the present and right now, we are together. After all that has happened between us, after all we have gone through together, I don't expect it to change because if anything, it seems to have made our relationship stronger for which I am truly grateful. As Charles had said, we are too much a part of each other now...and I couldn't ask for anything better or anything more...

_**END OF PART 1**_

_**Now I have come to the part I hate the most in writing, the ending...this is where I was originally going to end my story, but as with what usually happens to me, I have fallen even more in love with my "Cherik" characters and story and know that I won't be able to let them go. So as far as I am concerned, this story is (still) not over with, only the first part. And because of that, I will not say that it is "complete" (yet). However you will need to bear with me while I take a break so as to allow my "creative batteries to recharge".**_

_**I want to thank each and every one of you who has taken the time to stop by and read my story and for those who have added me to your Favourite lists and those who have "followed" it as well as left reviews. It has been very encouraging for my "maiden voyage" into the writing world of "sci-fi/fantasy" and I have really been loving it and your encouragement really means so much to me! Thank you again! :-D**_

_**So on that note, all I will say is that it might be a good thing that Charles and Erik got to enjoy some time for themselves because who knows what lies ahead for them once they get back home again...and I, for one can't WAIT to see what is in store for TEAM CHERIK in Part 2!**_


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